Neon Genesis Evangalion and Ranma ½ Crossover

 

Akane Vs. The Angel

 

Disclaimer: All characters from Ranma ½ belong to Rumiko Takahashi. All characters and robots from Neon Genesis Evangalion belong to Gainax.

 

Akane Tendo was in a bad mood. Well, that was nothing new, but it was enough to dissuade any suitor or crazy prince from attacking her. First, Ranma refused to eat her cooking after she slaved over the stove for him. Actually she forced the stove to submit to her evil plot of world destruction. So what if the food was slightly toxic or if it smelled like a chemical dump, he could have at least have tried it. Unfortunately Ranma joined the satellites in Earth’s orbit and he was out of reach, temporarily.

 

She stomped down the streets of Nerima and headed into Tokyo-3. She was so angry that she didn’t notice the alarm siren going off or the announcement to find a shelter. She just muttered to herself about the baka pervert and what she would do to him if she saw him again.

 

An Angel landed in Tokyo-3 and it took in its surroundings. Tall buildings, a few trees, a glowing Lilium, and… His thinking suddenly stopped. Why was that pitiful human ignoring him? Rage overcame him, after all, he was the most evil thing on the earth (I must note that the Angel was slightly delusional and never met Happosai or my brother) and he should be feared by all. He decided to teach the human a lesson.

 

Akane barely noticed the blast from the Angel, but she noticed it when a piece of shrapnel tore her favorite dress. Insult added to injury when the Angel ignored her once again, apparently thinking that she was dead. Akane quivered in furious anger, that thing would pay, she thought. Her battle aura grew larger and larger, until it was as large as the angel.

 

The Angel stopped, what was that? It vaguely remembered hearing about a demon in Lilium form, but it had been dismissed as stories. Besides, Kaworu/Tabris never mentioned anything like this. It felt a pang of fear.

 

Akane summoned her interdimensional mallet and yelled. “HEY UGLY, EAT THIS!!!”

The Angel held up a tiny sign that read “Help me”. It was the last words it would ever write.

 

Akane yelled a battle cry and pounded the Angel into the ground. The Angel tried to get up but Akane swung her trusty mallet and punted it into a building. Then she began to chase it around Tokyo-3.

 

Gendo collapsed in astonishment as he watched Ms. Tendo run after the panicking Angel with a glowing blue mallet. She just made NERV obsolete, all of his sacrifices and all of his work was for nothing.  He took out his gun and blew his head off. Ritsuko shrugged and called in the janitor to clean up the mess.

 

Then she finally caught up to the Angel and hit it out of Earth’s orbit. Still wanting blood, Akane yelled, “If I find out that there are anymore Angels on this miserable planet, I’ll pound them into the ground and make them eat my tuna casserole.” Evil thoughts filled her mind as she contemplated cooking such a monstrosity. (This author quivers at the thought)

 

Kaworu sweatdropped, then ran out of the NERV headquarters. He had to find a shuttle leaving earth immediately. Too bad about Shinji, maybe another time.

 

The Units in the holding bay looked at each other and nodded. They all broke out of the bay and took to the sky. If there was time, they could be gone before they would be noticed.

 

Adam woke up and shrieked. It hitched a ride with Unit 01 off that planet. The demon being could have it.

 

Lilith paled, pulled the spear out of her, then grabbed onto Unit 04. This wasn’t part of the plan. Humanity won, but they were still stuck with that being’s cooking. She smiled sinisterly. She gave it a year before the Earth would be destroyed.

 

The Rei clones silently took out several syringes marked ‘cyanide, do not use’. Better a fast death than a slow death.

 

Akane deflated her battle aura and continued on her way.