It was well into the day on Erna. It was going to be one hot summer. Everybody gathered around the cathedral to either watch the patriarch come out and make a fool of himself by trying to perform the closest thing Erna had to a game show, or to sit in the shade, even though the show had been moved to well after sundown for the convenience of their special guest star. Everybody simply wanted good seats. Sure, it was probably true that the patriarch could have chosen a slightly livelier topic than math for a game show, and it was probably even truer that he should have chosen a slightly livelier topic, but this was the only easy-come entertainment the sad people of Erna would be seeing for a while, and they knew this. They probably knew this solely because the patriarch screamed at the top of his lungs the last time he tried this, "OK! I'M  GONNA TRY THIS AGAIN  FOR YOU ROTTEN, UN-GRATEFUL PEOPLE NEXT WEEK! AND IF YOU GUYS THROW TOMATOES AGAIN NEXT WEEK, YOU ARE ALL GOONA GET IT! AND NO MORE 'PATRIARCH POSTULATES' FOR YOU PEOPLE! WON'T YOU BE SAD THEN?!?!?" Or, of course, they could have noted the slightly subtler sign of lack-of-entertainment when they discovered that the show was utterly boring, and decided to throw tomatoes. Whatever the signal, they knew it. They also knew it'd be good entertainment because humans are cruel, and the patriarch promised he'd tap-dance in an attempt to sell products from the funders of the show, 'Patriarch Postulates.' To want to see this, you'd either have to be cruel or sick. Almost all humans are either cruel or sick.
   It was well into the night when the contestants finally arrived. They arrived in two space pods, crashing down into the crust making huge craters in front of the Forest. Slowly the doors creaked open, and two silhouettes emerged slowly.
                          Ok ok, with everything set, on to the silly part... 
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