Note: I don’t own Gundam Wing or any of its characters. They are used here simply for the purpose of humor and shall have no money made off of them. I do not own "The Wizard of Oz" or any of its characters. Please refrain from suing me (I love official sounding words like that.)
Author’s Note: This story reads like a play. Relena, as usual, gets hurt, a lot. I will apologize in advance for what is done to Miliardo.
Quatre: What about me?
GC: Silly Quatre, people always make you the girl anyway.
Quatre: But...
GC: No buts! Get into costume this instant!
*he sulks away*
Duo: Gaia *whining* this costume is giving me a wedgie. And this fur itches.
GC: Get over it you baby! You weakling! You pathetic excuse for a soldier! YOU... you... Oh my god! I just sounded like Wufei! NOOOOOO!
Duo: You mean you didn’t want to sound like him?
GC: No I did not! Now get back to make-up.
Duo: *breaks down laughing just as Gaia kicks him off of the set*
Heero: Are we gonna start anytime soon?
GC: Yes, we will begin as soon as Miss I’m Gonna Act Yangy Catalonia shows up.
Dorothy: Oh I’m here, but do I have to do this? I don’t look good in pink frills.
GC: If you don’t we’ll all just wait here for eternity.
Dorothy: All right, I’ll do it.
GC: Good.
*Opening scene: Quatre is working diligently in the fields of his home in...well...it’s somewhere kinda dusty.*
Dorothy’s Voice(DV): Once there was a boy named Quatre, who lived with his four friends in a small town in Arabi... uh in Kansas. Quatre hated his boring life of farmwork and one of his only true friends was his gundam... uh dog, Sandrock.
Quatre: *looks up from his work to see his neighbor coming up the walk. It’s Miliardo in a long skirt, white blouse and heels. In his hand he carries a small Chihuahua.* Wherever did you find Sandrock?
Miliardo: I found him digging up my tomatoes. He’s a menace and if I ever see him in my yard again I’ll shoot him. *grumbling* Then I’ll shoot this writer for givin’ me such a sucky part. *he stalks away, tripping over the heels.*
Quatre: Sandrock, you shouldn’t go over there. You could have been hurt.
DV: Suddenly a huge twister blew in. Quatre ran with Sandrock to hide in the one place he knew would be safe, his house. As Quatre’s house was sucked into the tornado he saw his jerk of a neighbor fly by and turn into a witch. Then he saw a lying cow. Then the whole room went into living color and the house thudded like it had landed on some small, stupid politician. Quatre looked down to realize that he was wearing a blue and white checked dress and black Marie Janes.
Quatre: Oh my head... What am I doing in a dress?! and why is everyone singing outside? *He walks out into the colored world and almost runs over a group of chibis. They are Noin, Sally, Treize, Howard, Hilde, the doctors, and Duke Durmail.*
Chibi Noin: Hurray! We’re saved from the Evil Politician of the East, Relena the Annoying.
Treize(in a ridiculously high voice): At last, freedom to campaign!
All: Yeah!! *They start singing.*
Ding-dong
Relena’s dead
His house landed
Right on her head
Ding-dong
Relena’s finally dead
Ding-dong
Relena’s dead
His shack killed her
Or so it’s said
Ding-dong
Relena’s finally dead
etc., etc., etc.
Sally: Now what do we do with or hero, I mean heroin.
Quatre: It’s okay, I’m a guy.
Dr. J: Are you sure?
Quatre: Yes.
Howard: Then why are you in a dress?
Quatre: Because of an idiot fanfiction writer.
All: Oh.
*Dorothy appears in a pink cloud of smoke. She is wearing a frilly pink and white dress, green hiking boots and a high white and pink tiara. She carries a fairy wand and her tiara is crooked. An army jacked is held in her left hand slung casually over he shoulder and she is chewing a hug wad of gum.*
Dorothy: So you’re the one that killed that nutty politician. Good. I’m the Nutty Politician of the North. *she sticks out her hand, which Quatre shook* You probably want to get home right?
Quatre: Yes.
Dorothy: *blows a bubble gum bubble* Well you can’t go home without these. *a pair of shiny, bright green tennis shoes appear at his feet* They were Relena’s emerald sneakers. They’re magic, you know. You can win any election with those babies. Anyway you’ve killed her. Now if you want to go home you have to kill her brother, Miliardo, the Wicked Politician of the West; get to the Ruby City of Wuz; and befriend a mute scarecrow, a psychotic, katana wielding tin man, and an itchy lion on your way. Then you must talk to the Wizard of Wuz, a man fixated only on death and destruction. He will help you get home, or he may just kill you. Either way it’ll get you out of here, right? Now put on the sneakers and start walkin’.
Quatre: *lifts up the shoes close face and sniffs* Eww, they smell disgusting.
Dorothy: Yeah, well Relena never was known for being smart enough not to wear them all the time. Now put ’em on and get moving.
Quatre: *he kicks off his Mary Janes and puts on the smelly sneakers.* Okay, I put the shoes on, now where do I go.
Chibi Treize: You follow the gundamiun road.
All: Yes, follow the gundanium road.
Quatre: Okay...
Chibi Treize: *takes Quatre’s hand* I’ll escort you, incase you get attacked or something. *they walk down the road out of town*
Quatre: I don’t really see how you can protect me since your less than two feet high.
Treize: Well I can always yell for help really loud.
Quatre: Okay. Lets start walking then.
DV: Will Quatre survive the long walk with Chibi Treize? Is Relena dead for good? Where does did shop for this? Is Duke Durmail a mute munchkin? Why did Treize want to leave the city so badly? Find out next time?