It's finished! After all these weeks, I've finally finished Relena’s Rooms! Some thanks are in order:

Many Thanks To: Esha (My best friend and assistant), Fish-Chan (My online friend and encouragement to finish), Hikaru (Helped me collect my thoughts and blow off some of that writer steam), Sarah (Never afraid to give me feedback when I really needed it) and ANYONE ELSE who helped me through my first humor fic and multi part right up to the end. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!! ^_~

Disclaimer: I don't own the G-wing characters and am merely borrowing them for my insane musings. I'll return them after I'm finished. I promise.

Warnings: HUMOR (mostly anyway), some shounen ai.

Now on with the fic! Feedback is always welcome! All comments will receive a reply! Firefly867@aol.com

"Oh, hi, Heero!" Relena said cheerfully. "I missed you so much!"

The G-boys froze. Duo cleared his throat softly.

"Uh..Relena! How did the peace talks go? I know they can get boring afte.." He stared. Another slim blonde girl had joined the first one. She turned to a wide eyed Heero Yuy.

"Oh, hi, Heero! I missed you so much!"

Heero just stared.

"Uh..Relena? Relenas?"

"Yes?" the girls replied in unison. Heero forced himself to calm down enough to return to Perfect Soldier mode.

"What's going on h.."

A third Relena joined the others.

"Oh, hi, Heero!" she happily chirped. "I missed you so much!"

Duo, as always, was first to comment.

"Are any more of you just going to appear?"

As if on cue, hundreds of Relenas materialized and, soon, the boys could see nothing else in the sea of blonde hair and tasteless clothing. The boys sweatdropped.

"You HAD to ask?" Wufei growled at Duo. Duo just stood there in shock. Too far gone to think up one of his usual smart ass retorts.

The girls all suddenly turned to Heero. He lost what remained of his control and began to tremble violently.

"Oh, hi, Heero!" they chorused as one. "We missed you so much!"

Heero tried unsuccessfully to hide behind Trowa.

What did I do to deserve this? One Relena is bad enough.

"Heero!" the first girl smiled seductively. The G-boys cringed. Wufei turned and began clawing at the air.

"WHERE is that door?!?"

"Heero, come with us," one of the many blondes requested sweetly. By now, there were too many to know which one.

"Yes, Heero," another one spoke up. "We'll make you our King of the World!"

The Relenas approached the boys with painstaking slowness. The boys froze. There was no way to escape. Duo bravely, (pure insanity being part of it), stepped in front of Heero, trying to protect his koi.

"You're not taking him!" Duo growled threateningly. "I don't like to share my toys! He's mine, you hear me? MINE!!!"

"Your TOY?" Duo turned back to see a peeved Heero Yuy glaring at him. He blushed slightly.

"Well..you know what I mean, Heero."

"Hn." Heero just stared at his lover.

A slight rumble rose form the many Relenas, diverting his attention quickly from the braided boy. As the noise grew louder, the boys were able to make out a single word uttered by the mob.

"Heeeeeeeerrrooooo!" The name sliced through the silence. What began as a slight rumble was now a deafening screech. The G-boys collapsed on the ground, writhing, and holding their ears in agony. The noise crossed between a very sick hyena and a hundred cars all slamming on their breaks at once.

Then, there was only an impenetrable darkness, surrounding and enveloping them, in it's shroud.

*******

Trowa awoke with a splitting headache.

What happened?

A quick glance around was all he needed. Wufei was lying face down on the nearby grass, somehow managing to clutch his ears in his unconscious state. Duo was not much better off. The Deathscythe pilot was on his back, his braid flung carelessly across his face and chest. Quatre was looking slightly rumpled after collapsing to the ground some four feet away. Trowa slowly made his way over to the blonde boy and gently cradled him in his arms. Quatre woke with a start.

"Huh? Wha..Trowa! What happened? Where are we?"

Trowa smiled down at the slight boy in his arms.

"I think we passed out."

"Oh."

A groan brought their attention back to Wufei who was currently trying to stand and failing miserably. The Chinese pilot quickly steadied himself though and, after his head stopped spinning with images of far too many Relenas, he was able to stand quite successfully.

Trowa looked off to his left where Duo still lay.

"Someone needs to wake Duo up."

An evil smile crossed Wufei's face.

"Gladly." And with that, he marched over to the braided boy and whacked him upside the head. Duo jolted awake and began to sputter.

"OW! Who? WUFEI!!!"

"He's up," Wufei grinned smugly at the two boys huddled on the ground.

"Where's Heero?"

Their attention was returned quickly to Duo who was searching frantically for the Japanese pilot. Quatre sighed.

"I guess the Relenas took him."

Duo paled

"But don't worry," Quatre added with a smile. "I have a plan to get him back."

*******

"Quatre, this has got to be THE stupidest idea I have ever heard!" Duo shot his friend a hostile look. Quatre shifted the stack of papers in his hands.

"It was so nice of the author to write in these posters for us." [*flashes Ray-Chan a sunny smile* *Ray-Chan gives him a thumbs-up*] "Don't worry, Duo. It'll work. Trust me."

Duo rolled his eyes. "What makes you so sure?"

Quatre sighed. "I do have 29 sisters, remember? I know these things."

They continued walking, hanging one of the posters from the stack every couple feet. Soon, there were no more left.

"What now?" Duo shot Quatre another look. The small blonde just stared back. A sudden noise grabbed their attention, though. They lowered themselves behind a convenient row of bushes, peeking out to what lay beyond.

Hundreds of Relenas were in rows, each neatly spaced. Stranger, though, was that they were all on their knees their attention directed to something at the very front of all the rows. The boys sweatdropped. In front of the whole mob, was Heero. Or what they thought was Heero.

He was draped in long regal robes and had a crown neatly placed on top of his head. The thick cords binding him to a beautifully carved marble throne seemed out of place. The gag roughly shoved in his mouth silencing his vehement protests as well.

The Relenas were chanting something that sounded strangely like "WeloveyouHeeroweloveyouHeeroweloveyouHeero..."

Duo's eyes widened.

They're worshipping him!

A blonde girl suddenly ran into the clearing, demanding attention for herself. Waving a familiar piece of paper wildly, she practically screeched in her excitement.

"Girls! Girls! Look! A SHOE SALE!!!"

The Relenas seemed to forget all about their Heero worship, as they stampeded out of the clearing. Duo sighed.

"Gotta hand it to you, Quatre, It worked."

Quatre beamed. "Well, we had better hurry and untie him already. They'll be back once they figure out there's no sale."

The four boys quickly and as quietly as possible, made their way down to the altar and a very relieved looking Heero Yuy.

"Okay," Trowa stepped forward, "let's untie him." "WAIT!" Duo rushed forward and plopped himself down in Heero's lap, snuggling up to the Japanese boy. "Can't we leave him like this just a little longer?"

Heero's insistent death glare TM was a good enough answer for the others, though. They shoved Duo off, and began to untie Wing's pilot.

Duo whined. "I never get to have any fun." He reached over and pulled the gag from Heero's mouth.

"Omae o korosu!" Heero leapt at his lover's throat, intent on strangling him, when familiar voices reached them.

"How RUDE! There was no sale!"

"Yeah. I really needed some blue sandals."

"You already have blue sandals."

"I have navy blue, blue purple, sea blue, baby blue, light blue, teal blue, turquoise blue, gray blue, cerulean blue, sky blue, green blue, but NO c obalt blue!"

The returning Relenas seemed to suddenly notice the G-boys standing there.

"Hey! What are you doing with OUR Heero?!"

"RUN!" Duo screamed. It was beginning to be routine. The boys took off through the clearing at full speed. They had no idea where they were running to though. As they passed by, random trees or plants, forest animals, and even the marble structure of the Heero shrine, seemed to be reaching out for them. The structure was transforming. Everything around them, was slowly becoming distorted, seeming to take on the form of Relena. Blonde hair everywhere. Pale, fury filled faces covered the walls, and trees seemed to grow wiry arms, intent on catching the boys at each turn.

"NO!" the walls screeched. "BRING HIM BACK!"

The boys continued to run, sheer panic forcing them to continue. They almost cried out in joy when a door appeared before them. The world beyond swirling in a fuzzy haze.

Putting on a last burst of strength, they leaped through the door and landed amongst the ugly "Queen of the World" statues on Relena's front lawn.

Everything seemed normal. Birds flew flitting through the air, landing on nearby trees and the life size marble Relenas.

Even after the days previous events, though, they were surprised when an unmistakable pink limo pulled up and an equally unmistakable blonde someone emerged and approached them. Their eyes widened.

"Thank you boys so much for watering my plants." Relena was smiling brightly. "They can get irritable if they haven't been watered in a while."

Wufei sneered. "No kidding."

Relena turned her attention to Heero. Her smile widened even more.

"Oh, hi, Heero! I missed you so much!"

The boys paled.

"Whaa - ? How - ? No NO WAY!" Duo snatched Heero's arm and began to back away slowly. The other pilots followed suit. Quatre opened his mouth, then closed it at a loss for words. Trowa finished for him.

"We'll be going now."

And with that, they ran as fast as they could from the Peacecraft mansion and Relena's rooms.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

What did you think? Did you like it? Does it need a sequel? Send any crazy, wild or just STRANGE ideas for more rooms to Firefly867@aol.com If the inspiration comes...i just might write some more! Thanks a lot!