My first multi-part fic!!! :: Jumps around the room swinging from light fixtures:: It's also my first attempt at humor. Bear with me okay? I'm thinking 4 parts as of now - but maybe more if I get some e-mail ideas from readers I could always use a sequel, ne?

(((I hate doing this Disclaimer thing)))

As much as I want to say the characters here belong to me, I can't because they don't. They're someone elses and not mine ::sobs!:: don't sue me. I'll just cry some more!

WARNINGS : uh... humor?(if that really needs a warning), slight shounen ai (1x2 and 3x4), and RELENA BASHING!!! I just love writing it!

E-Mail me with some ideas and maybe I'll be able to use them in this fic later on! Feedback always welcome! Firefly867

The five Gundam boys were gathered around a wooden picnic bench at their current boarding school. Not a word passed among them as they quietly took in their surroundings. Birds chirping, gentle wind so peaceful. Then...

"Heeerrrrrooooooo!" Relena's voice sliced through the silence like a knife. Everyone within a three mile radius was forced to cover their ears or risk hearing loss.

Woefully, the Japanese pilot turned to the girl swiftly approaching him. "Relena."

Quatre stared at the boy.

Did Heero just whimper? His thoughts were cut short though, as the banshee.. uh - girl, continued screeching.

"Heeeerro! I finally found you!" Relena beamed. "How are you, Heero? What have you been up to? Anything new? Why haven't you called?" The questions continued in a blur.

The other pilots had paled upon seeing the Queen of the World, and they now looked to Heero, waiting for him to do something - ANYTHING.

Heero sat motionless. Don't move and maybe she can't see me.

Duo sensed his lover's distress. Although the solemn face of the Perfect Soldier never changed, the weeks together had given Duo a sixth sense of sorts.He could sense when Heero wanted to lash out and kill something. Or a certain blond haired someone.

"Uh.. Relena-sama! It's nice to see you again!"

And every other time you've hunted us down. Can't she take a hint?

The four other pilots just sat there, tight lipped.

Duo cleared his throat and continued. "So what brings you all the way out here, Relena?"

The blond girl had used her hips to bump a non-resisting Wufei from Heero's side at the table and sat down in his place. The Chinese youth gratefully moved to sit next to Trowa at the far side of the table, placing as much distance between himself and Relena as he could respectfully manage.

"Oh I can't stay long," Relena regretfully informed the five." I'm leaving for a two week peace conference in the colonies."

Heero's head immediately shot up. "Really?"

Relena, happy to get a response out of the boy, smiled her thousand dollar smile. (Seriously. Her parents had not been pleased when the dentist bill came in the mail months earlier. How many people wore gold plated braces anyway?)

"Yes, sadly. But I have a favor to ask you."

"What is it?" Inquired a surprisingly curious Trowa.

Relena, eyes never leaving her Heero, smiled wider. "Would you five water my house plants while I'm gone?"

"Nani?!?" The boys sweatdropped.

"Only for two weeks until I return to the Earth."

The mention of Relena being light years away for two whole weeks quickly changed the pilot's tones."

"Oh, of COURSE, Relena-sama!" chirped a now too cheerful Quatre. "We would LOVE to help!"

The other pilots just nodded. Only too eager to be rid of the girl for ANY amount of time.

"Great! They're in the west wing hallway. First door on the left." She winked. "Don't get lost, now."