Far beyond the heavens and the reaches of space were two twin goddesses. Liahna, better known to the mortals as LiLi the psychotic fan fic writer, was goddess of guns, spandex, mechas, the homicidal, trigger-happy owners of said guns and spandex, death obsessed talking braids, annoyingly quiet clowns/assassins/pilots and whatnot, deceptively cute and innocent, very dangerous blond haired, blue-eyed angels, freaky eyebrow guys who are alternately lusting after and lusting with bleach-blond madmen who have this thing with wearing tin cans on their heads and justice spouting, Nataku worshipping, sword-crazed lunatics, not necessarily in that order, and then some.
The younger twin looked up at the older twin, Europa and asked, "Is it time?" The two identical faces exchanged a look nothing short of horrifying. The two goddesses reached out to the planets and guided them into a certain alignment. And chaos ensued… But aaaaaaanyway…
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At the Winner estate, Duo Maxwell had just finished downing a gallon of soda when it hit. He had to go and quite badly one might add. Not one to put an emergency call from nature on hold, he scampered, err, waddled, err, squirmed over to the nearest bathroom, only to find someone already in there. "Hurry up! I hafta go!" He wailed, hopping from one leg to the other. "Well you'll have to wait, Maxwell," Wufei said from behind the door, "I got here first." "It's an emergency!" "Use another bathroom, baka!"
The pilot of DeathScythe dashed upstairs and to another bathroom. To his dismay, it too was locked. "Open up! Nature's calling!" "Duo, I'm in the shower!" Quatre yelled over the running water. "But-" The chestnut haired boy looked around frantically for the next bathroom. Unfortunately, the other bathrooms were in the others' rooms and he couldn't make it that far. "NATURE'S CALLING DAMMIT!!!"
The minute those words left his mouth, the planets locked together in their alignment and Duo's potty instinct took control. He grew twice his normal size, shredding his clothes in the process, grew fur, and sprouted a huge bushy tail and little pointy ears. The braided boy stared as claws the size his hand appeared and long curving fangs grew out of his mouth. The newly transformed werewolf stood in the middle of the hallway and let loose an echoing howl that knocked several birds and other woodland creatures out of their trees. The howl also was heard by the twin goddesses who snickered like mad at their handiwork.
His howl was cut short when his potty instinct, which had set off the whole transformation, nagged him to go. Duo the werewolf looked around desperately for anything, even a pot or a plant to pee on. // Tree, tree, dammit, why doesn't Quatre keep any trees in here?! // His violet eyes fell on a miniature Japanese bonsai on a table in the corner. //TREE!!! //
Quatre stepped out of the bathroom ,dripping wet and wearing only a towel around his hips. "Duo? You can- AHH!!!" The blond boy stared as he watched Werewolf Duo squat, err, straddle himself over the little bonsai and take a long deserved piss. "DUO!!!" Werewolf Duo stopped mid-piss over the decidedly dying bonsai and stared before tearing down the stairs and out the door like a bat out of hell, nearly trampling Heero and Trowa on the way. Now had it been Trowa, he would've stopped, stared, pounced, and uh… never mind.
Beyond the heavens and farthest reaches of space, Liahna snickered and Europa said, "He would've ripped that towel off and screwed him silly, that's what." But back to the story…
Duo ran out of the Winner mansion and looked around the empty street to find just the thing his aching bladder wanted. //Thank you God! // The other four pilots ran out to quite a stareworthy sight. Werewolf Duo was standing over a fire hydrant that seemed ridiculously small compared to his huge furry bulk. He was on all fours, hind leg raised to the high heavens and whizzing on the tiny hydrant like there was no tomorrow.
After two very long minutes, Duo finally finished relieving himself and wagged his tail in doggy pleasure. The poor, abused fire hydrant stood in the middle of a lake of the err, results of Duo's potty instinct. The moment nature's call had been answered, the planets floated out of their alignment and Duo transformed back to himself.
The five pilots stood in front of the Winner estate in various states of disarray. Heero and Trowa had gigantic paw prints all over them and looked like they'd been caught in a landslide and Quatre was still in his towel. Wufei was the only one who wasn't out of place and Duo was standing naked in the middle of the sidewalk in a massive puddle of uh… wee-wee. Trowa took one look at Quatre, dragged him inside and proceeded to rip of his towel and well, screw him silly.
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Deep beyond the heavens and the reaches of space, Liahna and Europa laughed like idiots at the insanity they had created.
"Nee-san, can we do that again?"
"Actually, I was thinking about that Candy Land game we found earlier."
"But I wanted to use the Swan Lake production."
"You did the Spandex thing."
"You made up the Little Mermaid."
"I'm older."
"By two minutes!"
"I'm still older."
"I'm not the one that made Kurama crossdress."
"At least I didn't stick the porno pictures of Dr. J in Heero's shorts."
Said spandex boy appeared and pointed a gun at the two deities. "Who's the one that got Duo mad enough to make me sleep in Wing Zero?"
The twins pointed at eachother and said, "She did."