Quatre walked hurriedly towards the library before any of her new friends saw him. Or before anybody else could see him. He was feeling drained and depressed and was in no mood to talk to anyone for he was sure that many people wanted to meet the new 'girl' and all he wanted to do then was to be alone.

Finally, after taking a long shower scrubbing himself clean Quatre had decided that he would just cut classes that day and lock himself up in his room but ditched the idea because he was sure that Kayla and the others would stop by his room so that they could have breakfast together. And if he said that he was sick, those girls would be fussing over him like every other girl when their friend was sick and he didn't want that.

Looking to his leftt and right to confirm that nobody was around, the blonde quietly slipped into the library. The library was empty which wasn't surprising because everybody else were having their breakfast in the dining hall - except for Quatre that is. He had no mood to eat. Who wouldn't when you were a rape victim? And he felt downright dirty even though he had scrubbed himself hard enough to tear away his delicate skin.

"Quatre," came a husky voice.

Quatre nearly jumped out of his own skin but relaxed when he saw] that it was only Trowa, leaning against the library's door, gazing at him with an amused smile.

"I woke up late and I saw you coming in here when I was walking down the halls," said Trowa as he crossed towards the blonde. "Aren't you going to have breakfast? I should have known that you, disguising as a girl was a bad thing. Now you're starting to go on a diet - like most of the girls!"

"I wasn't hungry - I didn't have any appetite," said Quatre, which was true. "I had a nightmare and I didn't have the mood to eat." This was not the truth but Quatre felt he should keep last night's events a secret.

"Poor angel," murmured Trowa and pulled his lover close for a comforting embrace. Quatre gladly buried himself in those strong arms, wishing that he could stay there forever where Trowa would always protect him from harm and.. - a thought crossed his mind - evil people like Kevin. The Arab felt a shudder go through his body and tears threatened to spill from the sides of his pretty eyes as he remembered...

"It was just a nightmare. Don't let it get to you," murmured the unibanged boy softly. "It won't hurt you. I won't let it and I won't let anybody or anything hurt you."

A few drops of tears slid down the side of the blonde's face. Trowa.. his Trowa so protective and caring. Too bad it wasn't a nightmare. Too bad Trowa wasn't there to save him. Too bad he couldn't tell his love what had happened. Too bad he was just a weakling who couldn't even protect himself. Too bad everything was his own fault.

Trowa felt the smaller boy trembling in his arms and raised the blonde's chin so that he could see Quatre's face and felt his heart ache at the sight of his precious angel crying. "Don't cry little one," he said in a pained voice. "I'll always be here for you. Always." Then he leaned down to kiss his angel on the lips.

The kiss was soft and tender at first, but grew more passionate and more heated. Quatre abandoned his whole soul into the kiss, and kissed the taller boy hungrily as if seeking refuge in those kisses. He wished he could just lose himseld in those hot kisses and just forget about the everything around them. 'I want to forget...' he thought. Trowa, feeling his love's desparation kissed even more passionately making the smaller boy moan.

The tall pilot shifted to sit in a nearby chair and pulled the blonde boy along to sit in his lap. They sat onto the chair with a bump and the kiss was broken off when Quatre gave a small cry of pain. "Did I hurt you, angel?" asked Trowa worriedly, looking deep into those blue orbs.

"I'm fine," gasped Quatre and winced as he felt the awful pain in his butt. "I wasn't too careful this morning and slipped in the shower and landed on my butt. And now my butt is sore." Quatre forced a small chuckle.

"Poor baby," said Trowa with a small smile and let his hand wander to the beautiful boy's pert buttocks and let it rest there, stroking it gently. "Want me to kiss it to make it better?" Trowa asked mischievously and winked at Quatre.

Quatre felt a blush rising in his cheeks at the feel of Trowa's hand stroking his behind. Trowa's gentle touch somehow made the pain go away. "Um, maybe not," stammered the blushing boy. "We should get to class now, the bell's going to ring soon."

"You look so beautiful when you blush," said Trowa admiringly. "It makes you look more innocent, more angelic."

Those words ripped through Quatre's heart. 'Oh, Trowa.. if you only knew that your angel isn't innocent anymore,' he thought sadly. 'If you only knew, you won't want me anymore. I am not pure anymore and I am no longer worthy of having your love.'

Trowa gazed at the blonde lovingly before he leaned down to press his lips against the blonde's. 'Funny how I don't feel traumatized recieving affection from Trowa,' thought Quatre with a start. 'Don't people say that rape victims feel threatened when in contact with anybody close to them? I guess it's because I trust Trowa. My Trowa.. he will never hurt me..'

Trowa felt alarmed when crystalline tears began to run down Quatre's face. He didn't even seem to realize that he was crying. "What's wrong, angel," whispered Trowa, wiping away the tears with his fingers.

"Trowa, you'll never leave me, ne?" whispered Quatre with shiny eyes. "You'll always stay with me, won't you?"

"Of course, angel. I will never ever leave you," said Trowa.

'I will make it through. With Trowa by my side, I still have hope of living,' thought Quatre. 'Trowa will always shine the light for me and chase the darkness away..' Suddenly, he jumped up from Trowa's lap when he felt his underwear getting a bit damp. 'Oh no! I must still be bleeding. I can't let Trowa know..' he thought frantically.

"I, uh, I need to go to the bathroom," he said urgently when Trowa gave him a weird look. "I'll come with you then," offered Trowa."

"No! You can't come with me!" Quatre nearly shouted, then composed himself when he saw the surprised look on Trowa's face. "Uh, I mean, I'm going to the girls' room so you can't come with me."

Trowa nodded, remembering that Quatre was pretending to be a girl. "I'll meet you at class, then," said Trowa as they went into different directions.

Quatre gave a small nod and ran off. 'Did he drink too much last night,' Trowa wondered with a chuckle as he watched hie love scurry down the halls. He blinked. He thought it was his imagination so he blinked again. 'Must be my imagination. It seems as if there is blood on the back of Quatre's skirt - but that can't be. Unless of course, he fell really hard on his butt.'

The tall boy tried calling Quatre to tell him about his bloody behind, but the blonde had all ready run too far down the hallway to be able to hear him. 'I must make sure he is all right later,' thought Trowa with concern as he went to his first class.

~*~*~*~*~*

"Oomph!!"

Quatre rubbed his sore head as he bumped into something solid round the corner.

"Katrina! What are you doing here? You're going to be late for class if you don't hurry," said the person he ran into. It was Kayla, the red-head.

Quatre started to apologize but before he could do that, Kayla let out a little shriek of horror. Then she pointed at Quatre's behind.

"Ohmigod! Your skirt's all bloody!" said Kayla frantically. "We'd better get to the girls' room and get it cleaned quick before somebody elses see the blood stain. Look, do you have a pad with you now?"

Quatre shook his head no.

"Here, I have one now," said the red-head and digged around in a little pink pouch she was holding and jammed a sanitary pad into the blonde's hand, all the while looking out if there were any boys around to see it. "Today must be your first day of the month by the amount of blood that has leaked onto your skirt, eh? Don't worry. This is a maxi for night use and it'll at least hold out for a few hours."

"Um, thanks," mumbled Quatre in his girl's voice and stared at the pad in his hand. He wondered if a boy was able to use that thing and wondered even more, how it would feel wearing that thing. He remembered hearing his sisters say when they had started their periods, that those pads were uncomfortable. He wondered if he really did want to wear that thing.

"Do you want me to come with you to the bathroom?" asked Kayla but Quatre shook his head no. "It's all right. You should go to class now. I don't want you to be late." After much arguing, Kayla finally gave up and so she headed off to her first class while Quatre quickly went to the girls' room, cluthcing the sanitary pad and feeling like a total doofus.

At the girls' room, Quatre just stood in there and still stared at the sanitary pad he was holding. 'Do I even want to use this thing?' he asked himself. He opened the plastic covering and stared even harder at the thing. It wasn't as if he hasn't seen the thing before, but he felt it was queer having to wear something that looked somewhat like a mini version of a diaper. He glanced at his rear in the mirrors and his eyes nearly bugged out when he saw how bloody it was.

So he tried to wash off the stain in the sink. He scrubbed furiously with some hand soap, trying not the get the skirt too wet, then he dried it off with some paper towels. He was grateful that the skirt wasn't white - it was pink, so a bit of the stain left there wasn't really noticeable. It only looked like he sat on the ground and some wet sand had stuck onto his skirt. Then the blonde walked into one of the stalls and decided that he would have to wear the blasted mini diaper thingy in case his asshole was still bleeding. It wouldn't do to go around with a bloody behind, and Trowa would want to know the reason why.

'Oh no, I'm going to be late for class,' thought Quatre when he had finally gone out of the girls' room. 'I'd better hurry or else I'd get a detention or something.'

As he was hurrying down the corridors once again, he bumped into somebody for the second time that morning. He gasped and practically had a heart attack when he saw who he had run into. It was none other than Kevin, his rapist.

"Well, well, well. It's so nice to see you this morning Katrina," said Kevin with a smirk. "I really should thank you for last night. I never felt anything as fun like that in ages."

"Leave me alone," said Quatre quietly as he forced himself to look straight into Kevin's eyes. 'I must be strong. I am a Gundam pilot. Whatever I did wrong, I hace to and all ready did face the consequences myself.'

"I all ready gave you what you wanted. Now you keep my secret safe and don't ever come near me again," Quatre told Kevin fiercely.

"Tsk, tsk. My Katrina, I guess you have forgotten who's in charge here," said Kevin wickedly. "I'm the one calling the shots around here - not you. And I still want you to do something for me."

Quatre started to protest, but Kevin held up his hand, gesturing at the blonde to shut up. "Like I said, I'm the one who's in charge and I can change the deal whenever I want. Don't be afraid. I only want to ask for a small favor. I want you to pretend to be my girlfriend."

"What for? You can get some other real girl to do that," spat Quatre.

"Of course - I could have any girl I wanted, except for the belle of the school Katrina Rudevic. Because Katrina has a crush on Trowa Barton," Kevin said bitterly. "And I know that that Trowa guy seems to be liking you a lot. It wouldn't do if some newcomer like him happened to get the most wanted girl in the school would it? I want to show him, that I'm better than him and he can never stand in my way of getting anything I want."

"But.. no! I won't do it!"

"If you don't, I'll blab your secret to my uncle, or have you forgotten that he's the principal?" threatened Kevin.

Quatre hung his head in defeat which Kevin gloatfully took that as a yes and he went to his class, leaving a very troubled Quatre behind.

"Now what am I supposed to do?" he whispered as tears threatened to spill over the corners of his eyes. "Oh mighty Allah, please help your humble servant. Trowa.. please help me. I don't know what to do anymore. Everything's gone wrong..."

Sorry for the late arrival of Part 8.. I didn't realize how long it has been since I wrote Part 7. ^^; Anyway, I hope this part is um, acceptable cos I really don't know how to write rape fics. I'be been searching for a lot of rape fics so I get some ideas but still... And I know that rape victims are supposed to act really depressed and feel like they wanna die and think that they don't deserve anything anymore and that they would be afraid of intimate contact but somehow Quatre isn't really like this here.

This is my first time writing a rape fic so please, don't flame me or hate me or stop reading this fic anymore OK? Actually, I'm sorta writing this from personal experience. No, I wasn't raped or anything! Only like physically and verbally abused by this sicko guy (and he really was a sicko as I found out) when I did some volunteering work at the library. Naturally, I'm a person who likes to hide my bad feelings and pretend like there is nothing wrong. You could say that I'm like Trowa, my face is devoid of expressions no matter what I'm feeling but I like to fool around like Duo.

OK well, enough about that all ready!! Please send me your comments at blue _violet@gundamwing.org.