Note: All characters are registered trademarks of Gundam Wing, Sunrise and its affiliates, as well as all of the authors who originally created it. I do not own these characters. They are used here only for humor and shall not have any money made off of them. Any resemblance of the characters and or happenings in this story to those in real life is strictly coincidental. Please don’t sue me as I am a minor and could not pay you anyway.

Author’s Note: This fanfic is simply for the purpose of humor. Most of the characters have remained unchanged. Though after reading this you may think I hate Miliardo/Zechs, or just really like torturing him, in reality I do not, but he just happens to be easy to pick on if you think about it. I’m really a Relena basher. I hope that anyone who reads this gets a laugh. There is a little cussing but other than that I think this ‘fic is pretty clean. Enjoy!

Miliardo’s Note: I did not ask to be in this fanfic. My lawyers are working on the lawsuit against this girl as we speak. And she’s lying. She does hate me. She does!

*Starts crying. *

GC: Oh, I don’t hate you.

M: *sniff * Really?

GC: No. I just enjoy listening to your exasperated rantings.

M: Aaarrrgghh!

The year is A.C. 198 and things in the earth sphere are calm once more. The gundam pilots are have all gone back to their "normal" lives. Miliardo Peacecraft is now drifting alone in a world where soldiers are no longer needed, at all! Feeling lost and helpless he tries to turn to his past to find a way to live a normal life. Little does he know that in his search he will also find something, or should I say someone, else.

"Damn rain," said Miliardo as he pulled his hat farther down over his face. He walked a little more quickly down the crowded street with his deli sandwich. It had been raining all week, and he was really starting to get depressed over it. ‘Could be worse,’ he thought to himself, ‘It could be a storm with lightning.’

Just then a huge bolt split the sky and the rain began to fall harder.

"Shit!"

By the time he got back to his house, Miliardo was completely waterlogged and his sandwich was so wet if fell apart in the paper wrapping. With nothing else really left to eat Peacecraft settled down on his couch with a pint of Cherry Fudge ice cream and a spoon. After eating most of the container, and getting a bad case of brain freeze, he decided it was time to go to bed. The last thing he saw before he fell asleep had been his clock. It had read 11:58.

Miliardo’s eyes popped open. ‘Had someone been tapping me on the shoulder,’ he wondered. He looked at his clock. It was 3:59. ‘I guess shouldn’t have had all that ice cream. I’m hallucinating again.’ He closed his eyes and pulled the blanket up closer to his face.

*Tap, tap, tap.*

"What is it!" Miliardo yelled as he turned to face the other side of his bed. Immediately his jaw dropped. What he saw was a small boy, maybe seven years old, with pale blue eyes and shoulder length, platinum-blond hair. "Oh no. Now they’re getting too realistic," he muttered to himself.

"What’s getting too realistic, huh mister, what?" asked the little boy in a high almost squeaky voice.

"Nothing," he replied

"Well then," said the child, sticking out his little hand, "My name’s Miliardo. Do you want to be my friend?"

"Sure hallucination, I’ll be your friend, just let me get some sleep."

"Okay mister… and my name is Miliardo."

"Fine then," said a now exasperated Miliardo. "Goodnight, Miliardo."

"Goodnight."

*Buuzzzzzzzzzzzz* Miliardo’s alarm went off. It was seven thirty. Was the hallucination still there? No, he was gone. Thank goodness. Miliardo walked down the hall towards his bathroom. When he got there he started to turn the knob, thinking of the nice shower that awaited him.

"What the…" he said as he found that it was locked. "How did that happen."

"One moment", said a small muffled voice from behind the door.

‘Huh? Who the hell is in my bathroom? How did they get in? Oh well, I’ll get them when they come out.’

"I’m done. You can have the bathroom now." A small boy emerged from the bathroom. He was wearing a small, hooded, blue bathrobe and blue bunny slippers. As he looked up Miliardo saw that it was the same annoying kid he had dreamt about.

"Good morning Miliardo", said the little boy as he looked up at him.

"Who……who are you?" stammered the shocked soldier.

"I told you last night. My name is Miliardo. Miliardo Peacecraft, that is. I am here because you have lost touch with the joy and sanity of a normal life. And it is my job to keep you from going nuts. Now", he said with a huge smile on his face, "what’s for breakfast?"

GC: So did you enjoy part one? I hope so. I know what’s going to happen, but guess what? I’m not gonna tell you. Nya nya nya nya nya. You’ll just have to wait for part two. All I can say is that Miliardo gets hurt. And no, Relena does not get hurt in this story. I know you’re sad, but this is about her brother remember?

M: Why is it that I get hurt and she doesn’t?

GC: *pinching his cheek * Because it’s my fic silly, and there is nothing you can do about it. Besides there are two Miliardos, remember?

M: I can sue you.

GC: What? Oh, that. One; you are a cartoon character and have no power in the real world. Two; I am the writer and can do what I want. Three; because I am the author I can make this fic anything I want, even yaoi, if the need arises. Plus I can cast you in other ‘fics in a dress or I could make do nothing but stupid stuff. But you know, that yaoi is looking pretty appetizing now that I think about it. *Smiles evilly *

M: No! Anything but that! You can’t! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *Miliardo runs out of the room screaming. *

GC: *Falls to the ground, laughing hysterically. *