It was dark. And cold. He kept shivering, and he didn’t know why; usually the cold didn’t bother him much. Definitely not this much.

“Hello?” There wasn’t any echo. There never is, he thought, turning around to see if there was anything that he had missed. It seemed there was- a dark area that he thought looked like a cave entrance was waiting for him.

Should I? He wondered. Risk it or stay put…there’s no other way out of here…wherever here is…

Triton Bloom walked forward through the hole in the wall and found himself someplace different.

“Wha..?” The sight that met his eyes was disturbing…a vast, empty wasteland of a plain, sand and hills of sand stretching out far beyond his sight. A desert through the hole- he had just been in an icy room. How did that work?

But Triton Bloom was not afraid…for some reason he never was.

“Hello?” He called again, this time louder, hoping that there might be someone around to hear him. Again, no echo, no answer. With a shrug, he began trudging along through the sands of the desert, no longer cold but not hot, either. Where is this place? He wondered vaguely, and he would have wondered more if his mind hadn’t been cloudy with too many questions that couldn’t be answered. For what seemed like forever, he walked- and again the landscape abruptly shifted.

A grassy meadow, surrounded on all sides by tall, quiet trees.

“What is going on?” He grumbled, tired in spite of himself. Decisively, he sat down-

And immediately woke up, confused and still exhausted.

“Catherine?” He called, almost uncertain if he was where he thought he was. The familiar, cheerful voice reassured him.

It was sleepy, but it was real.

“Trowa? Trowa, is that you? What’s wrong?” Catherine came to his door, her eyes half-closed and her entire frame limp with weariness. To make sure she would return to bed, he lied.

“Nothing, Cathy. Never mind.” The sleepy performer nodded once and slipped back into her room. Trowa Barton- Nanashi- what was that other name? Sat awake, and thought for a while.

“I’ll call Quatre,” He decided. Without a sound, the troubled pilot stood and moved across his room to the phone, dialed the number Quatre had given all of the pilots in order to reach him. There were two rings before someone picked up.

“Hello?” Said a sleepy, familiar voice. For a long moment, Trowa tried to say hello. Or even Quatre’s name, anything at all. But he couldn’t- for whatever reason. Disgusted, he hung the phone up and left the tent.

On the other end of the line, Quatre hung up his phone as well and fell back into sleep, unconcerned.

Duo was worried. Genuinely and more than that- and he made sure everyone knew it.

“WHADDYA MEAN NO ONE’S SEEN HIM IN DAYS? DOESN’T ANYONE THINK AROUND HERE? WHERE’S HEERO? WHERE’S WUFEI? I’LL KICK THEIR ASSES IF THEY DIDN’T COME!!!” Quatre glanced worriedly to Rasid, but the older man just shrugged his shoulders, refusing to assist in calming the eccentric pilot back down.

“Duo, I know it’s frightening, but-“

“Don’t start with me, rich boy!” The blond Arabian’s head fell, and he tried to pretend nothing had happened; immediately Duo was repentant. “I’m sorry Quatre, I didn’t mean to…I’m just really not myself today…” Quatre waved off the excuses and put on a fake smile.

“I understand. We’re all worried about Trowa; Heero is on his way, and Wufei started looking for him with Sally last night. It’s okay, Duo.” Duo sighed.

“It’s not. I’m sorry, Quatre, I shouldn’t be losing my temper with you, of all people.” The Arabian grinned, an act that sufficed as an acceptance of the apology. Before their discussion could continue any further, Heero came storming into the room, followed by a few anxious servants. Quatre waved them away and began to speak with Heero.

“Heero, it’s good to see you.” Heero gave Quatre a contemptuous glare for the pleasantries. “No one can find Trowa,” He added. The Japanese boy started.

“Trowa’s missing?” Duo nodded, for once completely serious. Heero started to ask another question and stopped himself before a single sound got out.

“I know where he is,” He grumbled, looking upset with himself. Quatre had stood from his chair, Duo was gaping.

“WHERE????” They demanded.

“Come on. You aren’t going to like this.”

It was cold. It was getting fairly dark. It was all very familiar, in a strange way.

“The peak of Mount Everest. Yeah, this should work.” He was shivering. It was all very familiar…

Looking down, it was hard to think why he wanted to jump. The world was beautiful beneath him, and he knew that if he jumped, he would cease to participate in the beauty of the world.

“So if I don’t jump…” That was too much. He couldn’t sleep any longer, at least, not for more than an hour a night, and that was if he got lucky. Nightmarish hallucinations followed him everywhere, of people he had killed or had seen die, of things he couldn’t put names to. It was scary. He didn’t want to face that…and especially not as Trowa Barton. If anything, he would have preferred to be Nanashi, and still he wouldn’t have chosen to face his nightmares without an identity.

He spread his arms, took a deep breath, and leapt forward…

“YOU IDIOT!” Heero cried over the loudspeakers, swinging Wing Zero’s shield around to catch Trowa in mid air. Only mildly stunned, Trowa sat dazedly staring in Heero’s general direction. Overcome by emotion (how often does THIS happen?) Heero exited the Gundam, ran down the shield arm to Trowa, and took his friend by the shoulders.

“You bastard! How could you even think about doing this?” Trowa’s green eyes (or the exposed one, at any rate) were unfocused, and Heero got the feeling that Trowa was looking through him.

“I can’t…I can’t…” Heero started shaking Trowa viciously, trying to snap the other boy out of it.

“You can’t what? Are you crazy? You have no reason to commit suicide!” For some reason, Heero was crying, and

Trowa looked close to tears himself.

“I can’t look at them anymore…I’m not strong enough to fight them…” Heero growled. He could take anyone who was bothering his friend.

“Who?” Trowa started shivering.

“They’re too strong for me…I can’t…” A voice called from a little farther back, familiar and welcome.

“You found him? Heero, is that Trowa?” Heero stood and returned to the central pit of Wing Zero.

“Yes, Wufei. It’s him.” The face of the other boy on the screen looked relieved.

“You’re sure?” Heero just nodded, closing his eyes and trying to think of what could have set their fellow pilot on such a strange course. Wufei was silent as well as the two

Gundams began trudging back towards the village where Quatre and Catherine were waiting.

They tried to get him to sleep, but every time his eyes closed they snapped back open again. Catherine’s first reaction, when she had seen him, was to start screaming and attacking Heero, verbally and physically. It had taken Duo, Quatre, and Wufei to get her off of him- the victim had been listless enough not to defend himself from her attacks.

Quatre tried to calm her,

“It isn’t Heero’s fault, Catherine, we don’t know why Trowa did this…” But she refused to listen at first.

“He made my Trowa do this before! I warned him! Trowa would never try something like this!” Heero was the one who finally got through to Catherine.

“I haven’t spoken to Trowa in a month, Miss Bloom. If I had, it wouldn’t have been about suicide. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but I can leave if you feel that it would help.”

Catherine was silent as Quatre led her inside, worry plain on his face.

Wufei was somewhat less controlled than his companions, however, and he kept glancing over at the still-shivering Trowa, scowling, and glancing back at Heero.

“So what do we do?” Duo finally asked, sighing and crossing his arms over his chest. Heero didn’t look him; rather, he closed his eyes and shrugged helplessly. Wufei responded quietly, drawing Duo’s attention away from their sick friend.

“I think we should try to talk to him. Maybe he can help us figure out what exactly is wrong.” Heero shook his head.

“I don’t think so. I tried talking to him…he’s delirious…”

“Then WHAT do we do? I can’t stand this! Being helpless while someone I care about slips away! Heero, don’t you care? Wufei? Can’t you two think of ANYTHING at ALL to help him?” Duo, instead of waiting for an answer, stormed away from his fellow pilots, outside of the room, the building, the village, to Deathscythe, where he sat and cried over another loss.

When the shock wore off, Heero found himself speechless. Wufei just shook his head and followed the loud American, or tried to.

And that was how Relena and Lady Une found Heero.

Relena had been feeling cheerful, for a while. Une and herself had gotten somewhat closer as the time crept along, and they had both planned this outing in the name of getting to know each other better. That was just how things had been working, too, until a very familiar machine came crashing into the town and two fairly familiar people met a crowd of others at the general hospital.

Relena had been sipping her tea when she saw him.

“Heero!” She whispered.

“What?” Une was smiling at her, tilting her head.

“That’s Heero! Midii, we have to go talk to him! What could he be doing here?” Surprised at being called by her first name, the Colonel stood and began following her young companion, wondering vaguely what was going on.

“Relena? You mean the Gundam Pilot? The Wing Zero Pilot?”

“Yes!” Relena growled, striding quickly towards the hospital. At the doors, an oddly familiar face met her.

“Do I know you?” She questioned. The blonde haired boy looked up from the girl he was talking to, and she turned worried eyes on Relena.

“Relena Peacecraft?” He whispered, looking surprised.

“Yes, that’s me, what about you?” The girl smiled at Relena.

“Oh, Miss Peacecraft…I’ve heard about you from Trowa…” The Arabian boy-damn, he looked familiar- patted her hand and stood, bowing formally.

“I’m Quatre Raberba Winner, Relena. And that, I assume, is Colonel Une?” Midii inclined her head slightly. Relena suffered a revelation.

“You were one of the Gundam Pilots too, weren’t you? Have you seen Heero?” Quatre blinked, nodded and pointed inside the hospital.

“Ask for Trowa Barton…they’ll show you his room…” Relena raced through the doors, followed by a confused and gentle Une.

“Where’s Trowa Barton, please?” The lady at the desk pointed down the corridor, a bored expression on her face.

“Room 6a, can’t miss it. Are you family?” Relena shook her head and raced off in the direction specified.

“No, just a very close friend!” Midii followed her young friend, suppressing laughter. When they reached the door of the room, Relena was seized with a sudden hesitancy.

“Midii, am I doing the right thing here?” Lady Une tilted her head in thought, regarding the young girl.

“I think so, Relena. If there is a need for someone to watch over the sick, I can do that in Heero’s stead.” Relena nodded, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Heero was sitting on a chair inside, next to a shivering boy that Relena thought she might have seen once before.

“Heero,” Her voice was soft and gentle. The cobalt eyes snapped open, locking on her. Lady Une waited outside the door patiently, a look of worry creasing her brow. She KNEW that boy on the bed…Nanashi?

“Midii?” The three of them turned as one to look at Trowa, whose eyes were locked on Lady Une. His face was a mask of hate, and Relena found herself stepping back. Heero stood from his chair, looking to Trowa and Une, and back again.

“Nanashi…I’m so sorry…” Feeling unwanted, Relena and Heero left the room and closed the door behind them, standing outside in silence, contemplating each other.

“You traitor,” He spat, coughing afterwards. He looked very, very weak.

“I don’t know how to apologize to you, Nanashi…except, offer my life to you, or information you might desire.” The watery green eyes snapped with angry fires and he hissed at her.

“What kind of information would I desire from you?” Midii sighed, and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I know your real name, Nanashi/Trowa Barton. You are Triton Bloom. That girl out there, she is your sister.”

“Catherine?” He questioned, forgetting to be angry. Midii only nodded.

“I researched after we broke away…”

“After the mercenaries were killed.” She bit her lip and looked away from him.

“Yes, well…I wanted to see if anyone knew who you were. And, when it was confirmed that you were one of the Gundam Pilots, his Excellency wanted the research anyway…in case he accidentally killed you…so he would have known about that. There were a few records that I found…about the carriage crashing, about the two children who were saved. Someone saw you and took you in to an orphanage…”

“Stop. I don’t care,” Triton insisted, his voice cracking despite his best efforts. Midii wanted to tell him so badly, and she kept speaking, refusing to acknowledge his words.

“Apparently you didn’t like the orphanage very much…I researched that, too. The administrators there were very cruel people…some of them abused the children, and some of them encouraged the more violent children to attack the others…” Triton’s eyes closed, and he kept listening.

“After you suffered some of that, you- you were such a bright child, Triton- you decided to escape that. You started to trek with the mercenary bands then, and I think you remember the rest. But you still have your sister left…and she is your real sister, not your adopted one.”

After she allowed her words to trail off, there was a long, uncomfortable silence. Triton shook with- rage? Tears? Midii wondered sadly what he was thinking. But finally, finally, he spoke.

“Why do you know all this?” Another pregnant silence stretched.

“I- I-“ She paused, closed her eyes against the tears, and continued. “Because I loved you.”

Trowa smiled to himself, falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

After a few days’ recovery, Trowa- or rather, Triton- had regained his usual balance. He spoke with Midii often, smiling far more than he had before- or so it seemed. He calmly received six different scoldings, one from each of the other pilots, one from Catherine, and one from Relena.

But the only person who thought to ask him why he had changed his mind about suicide was Heero, who was most fascinated by the sudden recovery from the jittery condition his friend had been in earlier.

Triton’s only response was, “The truth.” Heero gave Triton a stern glare for his usual non-wordiness.

“Want to race?” Triton grinned.

“Sure thing.”

The End…or Beginning?