KEY CLUB CONVENTION
On the days of April 17-19, i had the grandest time of my life. I have never seen sooooooooooooooo many asians gathered together for one event. It was Cali-Nev-Ha's 52nd district convention held at the Westin Hotel in Santa Clara, CA. There, my skoo among hundreds of others, participated in many activities such as sessions, workshops, and most importantly, the dances. My home dawg Tan and i did everything together from sharin the same hotel room, to mackin on the same ladies...This is a documentary of my trip to convention.
I left skool on friday in the middle of 4th period around 10:50 to find my ride with our club seceratary over to the Amtrack station on 5th and I. When we arrived at the station, we were about a half an hour early. We didn't care cuz we were skippin skoo =). When the whole krew got there we waited a bit for the train to get ready. We sat and ate our lunches...bought cheap books...socialized, blah blah blah. When the train finally came at about 12:30, we hauled all our heavy posessions and packed them onto it. Tan and I found our seats and sat down in a moderately cozy little section in the train. I busted out da cards cuz we got bored FAST. Also the DISCMANS from everybody's backpacks jumped out almost simultaneously. The train was movin and we were on our way. During our journey, most of the Key clubbers introduced themselves to me and Tan and juss chatted bout stuff, while we juss "listened". The ride was hella boring but we eventually got thru it.
After the long 4 hour train ride from Sacramento to Santa Clara, the krew got off and packed our bags into our advisor's husband's tiny car. He took the luggage to the hotel, while we walked about half a mile to it. When Tan and I first stepped into the center, the first thing that ran through our heads were...ASIANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Low and behold....in the lobby was infested with asians of all sorts...chinese, korean, viet...all there! Too bad we didn't know any of them and were stuck with our whities (no racism intended). Tan and I then checked into our rooms with our white room mate. We got into the room and the first thing we noticed there was that there was only one bed..."hmmmm...wut are we gunna do?" we thought...oh well....less steal some extra beds...which was wut we did from unused rooms (the beds were foldaway). Our room mate got the foldaway while me and tan got the bed. We unpacked all our shizznit, including suits, sundries, etc., and basically settled in room 648.
Tan and I decided to go downstairs and check things out again. So we went dowstairs and drew a mental image of the hotel in our heads...however the constant distraction of fwione ass asian women to the left and right of us left us quite preoccupied. We sat down cuz there was nothin fer us to do! Dangit, here we were, in a place where asians dominated, and nothing to do! So we went around looking mindlessly for physical things to do in the hotel. We found a pool, but it was "closed due to remodeling". So we juss went back upstairs and kicked it there for a while. Hey...free HBO! One of the girls from our club decided she'd break the rules and hang out in our room for a while. We juss kinda ignored her cuz we wanted to sleep. For some reason, she likes to get on me. Then the first general session came along...
At 5:30pm, Tan, our room mate, and I got ready for our first major Key Club Session. Our advisor gave us our nifty little badges that made us feel really special! We left our room at 5:45pm, room key cards in hand, and got to the exhibit halls at round 5:55pm. DAYAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They squeezed in all 3800 er so Key Clubbers in that tiny room!!! Being as unorganized as we were, our key club had to sit wwwwwaaaaayyyyy in the back cuz there were no tables left. They dimmed the place and it was kinda like standin in an EXTREMLY dark photo developing room -red and dark... Thats wut the sessions always looked like. So the thing started with our District Officers, Gov. Pat Maurer, Sec. Michelle Brady, Treas. Polly Ha, B.E. John Quaresma, and the LTGs welcoming us with a weird skit.
The whole session was quite boring to me and Tan. So boring that we took our little voice amplifiers and started talking in Chinese to everyone...even the speaker who was talkin. One of the first things Tan and I noticed about our club was that we had NO spirit whatsoever. We looked around and saw the other clubs participating in the cheers, wearin their own specially made Key Club shirts, and us, sitting there eatin our free pretzels. Ugh...Tan and I wanted to ditch sssooooooooo bad, but that would've been rude. We stayed for all the pleasantries and emotional speaking (which i have to say wasn't that bad). Then it ended. All the thousands of clubbers exited thru the tiny doors. Tan made a quick phone call to his potential honey, and i juss sat and checked out all the fwione asian ladies walkin past me. Next, was our first caucus session (place where you vote for the new district officers) which our whole club juss ditched cuz we really didn't care. So we all juss went back up to our rooms and hung out.
Tan, our room mate, and I juss plopped onto our beds and rested. Then outta the blue, our key clubbers started pouring into our room like we were the popular ones er sumthin. That girl kinda gave me a lap dance and uhhh...i didn't like it. Tan and I juss wanted to sleep, but noooooo they wanted to turn on our T.V. and watch Black Sheep which was pretty funny. And to state sum rules about convention now...YOU MUST NOT GO INTO THE ROOM OF YOUR OPPOSITE SEX and YOU MUST NOT GO OUT OF YOUR ROOM AFTER ONE A.M. Ha! Tan and I literally tore up those rules as i will explain later... So here we were (guys and gals) watchin the movie and people start to leave again. Our advisor had said that she was goin to get some food from BK and took orders from us. They came back with a truck load of grub and it was all free to our amazement. Our club ate in the advisors room and hung out.
Then we all got ready for the Intro Dance which i am sorry to say kinda sucked...A friend of mine (whom i shall not reveal the name of until givin permission) had paged me up and i was juss about to see her for the first time. We were planning to go to the dance with her and her krew. So Tan and I got ready (took a really refreshing shower) and went to her room and was told that we were just goin to go with her. We went down to the dance and entered. "Golly, this dance is kinda...uhh..." was wut i thought. We juss wandered around a bit...grooved to the phat beats...blah blah blah. Then my new fren wanders off and we couldn't find her anymore that night. Tan and I decided to juss look around and see wuts goin on. We found our krew...yay...talked with them, then left them to theirselves. We wandered off again and we saw some break dancers showin off der skillz. "DAYAM, THEY'RE HELLA GOOD". We stayed there for a while and didn't miss out on the girl break dancer. When we saw that, we were like...=O That was prolly the climax of the evening.
Well...the dance finished and we went back to our rooms to rest. We found our krew out in da hallwayz again and talked to them a bit and then went into the room where we found our room mate fast asleep. We woke him up cuz our pizzas that were gunna be delivered to our room at 1:00am was almost hea cuz it was about 12:50am. Tan took a shower and i called my friend whom we had lost. We talked a bit, tan got out, i said, "g'bye, i'll see u tomorrow..." and got in. I came out and the pizza guy came. I answered the door to find our advisor along with the pizza guy and a stack load of round grease. Well, not really...cuz when we opened it up, we found a pizza as thin as paper and as cold as ice. We bared with it cuz it was free food, which wasn't all that bad. That one girl that likes to get on me called our room and we talked with her over speakerphone. We watched soccer and ate our food and when we were done, Tan and I did our homework a bit cuz we wouldn't have to time to do it when we got home. After that, we got ready to sleep and finally dozed off at 2:30am er so. Thus ended an...eh...not so bad (BUT REALLY BORING) day.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP....Ugh. After 4 1/2 hours of sleep, our room woke up like we were in a hangover. Man, let us go back to sleep...Oh well, gotta get ready for our second general session. Our room mate had dibs on the shower so he went first...Tan and I fell back to sleep. He came out all dressed cuz it was formal day where you had to look like you were goin to church. Tan showered next so i got another 5 minutes of sleep. Then i finally hauled my ass into the shower and got all ready. It felt kinda kool wearin the suit. Then the last girl from our club to call us the last night knocked on our door and she was one of the delegates. The delegates were the people who voted for the new district govenor. We kinda talked to her and then we noticed that the time was about 7:50 and we were supposed to be in the exhibit hall at 8.
We got into the slow elevators at 7:55 and juss made it in time at the hall. They started the session with the usual national anthem, key club pledge, intro, etc. They didn't even feed us that morning! Well, as boring as it was, I busted out my cards once more and we played the ever so popular "6 card". Tan and I really don't remember what the hell the speakers said but we didn't really care neither. So when it was over, we were supposed to go to a workshop. Tan and I went to the public relations workshop since that was my office next year. It was hella slow and we saw my new fren there. The workshop consisted of just teaching you how to get key club recognized and i learned a lot. Actually, it was pretty much the same thing as RFTC back in September. When it was over, we talked to my fren a bit.
Afterwards, we went to the second workshop which i have to say KICKED PHAT ASS. Led by three asian LTGs, they taught us how to motivate our members using a fun and informative technique. "Word to yo mom!"........"Cuz she Dropped the bomb!!!!" That was jez sumthin that was said there...(dun wanna look like i'm goin crazy er nothin) Well, i learned a hella lot more there than in the public relations one cuz it was koooo. Tan and I had to sit on the floor with this overweight, white, obnoxious girl who wouldn't shut up. She later dissed her own group and I bet she was shunned by them throughout the convention. The crowd there was over 600 and the room was made for 300. Thank you JAM for a GREAT workshop.
At around 11:15, the general session started. we got there around 11:20 becuz the second workshop took a long time. They, once again, started with their intro, then....FOOD. Goddamnit, it was juss meat on a plate along with cheese, a pickle and some lettuce. On the table was also bread. Gee. I wonder wut kind of lunch they were serving. hmm...i dunno, i'm still figuring out wut i ate (said with no enthusiasm wutsoever). And wut was worse, there was some tea which tasted like mud water from the "stream" (i'm not sure it was water in there) outside of the convention center. We ate our "lunch" and then went up to our rooms to hang out again. Our room, juz watched the tube.
1:00 came around and we were to report to the second caucus session. Missing the first one, Tan and I thought it to be our responsibility to go to this one. So we went and it was quite boring. The only thing remotely interesting were that we were able to ask the candidates any question...ANY. Sum questions were like, "Can you compare Key club to chlorine in a pool" or "Can you compare Key Club to a penguin". Yes they were that random. Surprisingly enuff, the candidates answered them real well. We found them amusing which was prolly the only highlight of the session. Tan and I left mid-way to go back up to our rooms where we juz fell asleep.
Our other clubbers finished there workshop and our room mate along with three o'clock rolled by and we decided we'd go attend the 3rd workshop. The workshop was the "Running for Office" one which Tan wanted to go cuz he wants to be president his senior year. Ugh, we hauled our tired asses outta bed and got ready again. We arrived at Ballroom G/H at 2:55. There was NO one there. Tan and I grabbed a literature (kinda a reference from the workshop) and left cuz we thought we'd juss read it and go to another workshop. We went to the "Contests and Awards" one cuz we thought we'd be judges next year at convention for the talent acts. Well, that one was boring too. So we left it midway and went back up to our rooms at around 3:30 to go back to sleep. When we got back up, we fell right back onto the bed. Our room mate didn't come back until after his forth session. He woke us up at around 4:05 and he decided he'd go to sleep too. So all three of us juss went to bed. I set the alarm clock for 5:45pm so we could get ready for our 4th general session.
Were we gunna get much sleep? HELL NO! Cuz the girl from our club that called us the night before decided she'd call us up again after her delegates thingy. Well, actually three girls called me during the 2 hour (more or less) time span we had to rest. Well, she wanted to juss talk. So, I talked. Then our LTG called me cuz she spoke to me earlier. She had my sport coat which i wanted back. She made me get it back myself later on. Then the new friend that i met wanted to set sumthin up with her krew, me and Tan. She wanted us to go to the dinner together. All of this was done over the phone so i got about 20 minutes of sleep max afterwards. An geez was I tired...
Once again...the loud noise of the alarm clock woke us up. This time i had first dibs on the shower since I had an itinerary to follow. First, shower, then get all spruced up with another suit and tie, then pick up sport coat, then make sure Tan was ready too, then pick up new fren and her krew, then go to dinner. Ugh, most of it was followed, but juz one event had sum extras. OK, I got outta the shower. Nice...step one complete. Then, i got all dressed up again. Great, step two is done. Now Tan gets up and goes into the shower, while i think our room mate juz kept on snoozin... Then I hopped down the stairs cuz takin the elevator woulda taken centuries to wait for...
There i was, floor 5, one floor below ours. I see some ladies in really elegant dresses. Me? I'm in my nice blue shirt and tie with a Chinese painting of a horse drawn on it (later, a story behind the tie). I felt like i fit in perfectly. The ladies knock on the door that i was to report to. I find our LTG with my coat, and she wants me too escort her to the dinner like I'm her personal chofer (can't spell it). She tried to drag me the direction of the elevators, but I tell her that i had to do sum other things before i went. She said she'd follow me. I said, alright and up the stairs I go again with the LTG right behind me. I get to my room and find Tan almost ready. My new fren had jez called and we were to go to her room NOW. So Tan, I, our LTG went to the elevators. While we waited, Tan and I took some GQ pics. The elevator door opened and we stepped in. Down the hallways heading towards room 503. She opened the door to her room and she was dressed nicely in a starry dress. The LTG went into her room while we stayed out and waited. When they came out, it was me Tan, our new fren, her room mate, and our LTG who went down to the exhibit hall together.
DING! 8 minutes later, the elevator door slided open. We all got in before the, "maximum weight exceded" light flashed. Well, we got to the hall at round 6:55pm. Pretty early if you were to ask me. But still. Our table was WAY in the back again cuz every other club thought they'd reserve themselves a table. The party we came down with had already split up. Tan and I went to our club, my new fren and her room mate to theirs, and the LTG to her designation. Tan and I sat down, got bored, got back up and wandered around. We looked for my fren cuz her krew was a lot tighter than ours. Well, after an unsuccessful search, we went back to our table. Gee, I wonder if our seats were taken. Hmm...sure enuff, mine and Tan's were seated by our clubbers. Once again, we were shunned away to go to an auxillary table. We sat at one adjacent to our clubs and the session initiated. Juss then, my fren came over to us (how does she find us like that?) and asked us to join them. Well the thing had already started and we had to stand. Tan and I were so anxious to follow her, but dangit! She ran off again! So during the Key Club pledge, we kinda reptiliously looked for her krew. Wasn't long before we found them and dangit! The seats that she reserved for us, incase we DID wanted to join them, was taken!
However, once we saw who they were, ooohhhhh baby...the finest asian girl me and tan have ever seen was before our eyes. There was only one seat left on the table, and I quickly sat down (betraying Tanley). So then Tanley went to find an extra seat. Me feeling bad, got up and helped him. So we looked around but with no luck, we went back to our club's table and took the remaining seat there. The only thing was that the seat was a long ways away from my frenz krew. So we dragged the seat and plates, and i must say, it felt kinda wierd. Well...it juss wasn't our nite so far. Cuz rite when we got back to the table, someone left and there was an extra seat again. We had juss had enuff and one more set back woulda ruined the whole evening. Fortunately, the rest of the nite was pretty tite.
I sat down and i got acquanted with the krew who wore these glowing strip thingys. Everyone one in their division had one...I remeber the fwione ass girl and the first thing she said to me, "I really like your tie." YEEEEAAAA! Tyte...from then on, i was loosened up and i felt I was part of their krew (without the glowing thingys). On the table was a salad for each individual, two kinds of dressing (i think blue cheese and thousand island, I'm not sure, but i think me and tan got blue cheese -YUCK), and that nasty tea again. Also there was some ice water (which later on added to our entertainment). While dinner was being served to everyone, we talked about where me and tan were from, where they were from, how crappy our club was, how tyte theirs was, wut you do at skoo...blah blah blah... It was nice cuz I talked with the fwione ass girl a lot =). Then outta the blue, she took out her camera. She took a pic of her friend. Then she looked at me and tan and wanted to take one with us...Natually, we said alright. So she took the pic and I'm still trying to get a copy of it using "connections". We pretty much got to know everybody around there.
Since i'm tryin to make this documentary as complete as possible, i'm gunna describe the evening wear everyone had at the table. Lets start with me and move clockwise through the table. I wore a black suit with blue shirt with white tie of a Chinese painting. Tan wore khakkies (excuse the spelling) with a lt. blue shirt with a dotted tie. Next to Tan was this girl, forgot her name...she wore Tan's jacket cuz she wuz cold...Next to her was my friend, she wore her starry dress...Next to her was her room mate...she wore a skirt with a tannish coat...To the left of her was this one half viet half chinese guy who wore a black suit w/ red tie. Next to him was this italian guy who was bald and i can't remember wut he wore. Next to him was this Russian guy who wore a dark purple silk shirt...Then next to him, our asian fantasy wore a short, tight mini skirt, with a tyte, dark colored tank top(i think gray & black) with the brand of D&G (i think)... next to her was her fren who wore a "bebe" blouse that was sky blue. it was tight on her, but not as tight as on the fwione ass girl. Actually i dont think it was a blouse....and she wore a black, silky miniskirt cut up the thigh ...This is your mental image of the scenario...
That nite was the tytest nite ever. The boring sessions transformed into awesome rallies, the crappy intro dance turned into a PHAT partay, and standard "goodnight, see ya in the morning" turned into a "hello, it's morning". During the 4th session, talent shows were performed and I must say, most of them kicked @$$. Jeez, didn't know anyone could do such feats! Well, of course they can! They were all asain! The talent show was pretty much dominated by them. Some of my favorites included the KEY CLUBBERS CLUBBIN' one where they did this remake of the SNL comedy skit where they bob their head to the song "What is Love". Also there was the piano debuts too. GODDAMNIT, I only can wish i could play that good....A lame ass skit was the singing one where two girls kinda serenaded a guy. The singing wuz good, however the acting juss reaked. The guy thought he was tight, but all he did was wake up from a dream... Another talent thingy was this asian rapper that had hella flow, and also this one krew of drill team members (they gotta be on drill) that were hella synched and did this routine with this dance song...All in all, the talent shows were pretty tyte. Then the half viet and half chinese guy got bored and started making this funny sound resonate from his glass. He taught us how to do it and Tan and i had a ball annoyin the hell outta everyone with the high pitched sound generated. A minor set back, however, was when our asian beauty and her fren kepted leavin our table...dangit. Fortunately, they came back for the dinner.
When we finished our salad, the dinner came and it was aight, I guess...Only i think there was too much cheese. Cuz wut we ate wuz this italian cuisine with veggies. The cuisine was this grated cheese embedded into a kind of macaroni shelled thing covered in tomato sauce... Not bad...there were two servings of it on each plate. Once i got to the second, I was pretty much done...The veggies juss tasted like crap. The eating utinsels were "fancy" cuz they gave us a set. Three forks (2 main and 1 desert) and a knife. HOWEVER with tan and i, we had about 50 forks and knives cuz we had all the utinsels from our club combined with the utinsels at the table we were eating at...No one really gave a damn about which one to use, but I sorta followed what the movie "Titanic" taught me...Start from the outter end and work your way in (err waz it the other way around?). Anywho, the dinner was alright and waz quite satisfying.
Ding! Lobby...out we went and down the corridors which would be one of the most memorable dances of my life...Fixin my tie and stuff (forgot to do it in the room), me and tan power walked to the Grand Ballroom. Thru the doors and all these wonderfull sights and sounds of people having fun. It was a an elaborate sense of belonging and exhileration. Don't ask me why but it felt so good. I can remember walking in... the scene felt like it was slow motion. To me, dances were usually juss places to loosen up. This one was different...I was with mah best fren, i was with my kinda crowd, and it was absolutely marvelous. It wasn't just fun, it was TyTe!!!! Maybe it was all the asians, or all the nice suits and dresses...either way...it was a nite to remember.
We found my fren with her krew and i guess tan and i pasted in our heads where they were in the room. We weren't gunna lose em. Well, Tan and I took off our coats and placed them onto chairs along the walls of the room. We got up and juss started to get a feel for the music.... By the way, the DJ wasn't all that good. Dancin around enjoying life in the 90's...blah blah. Well, Tan and I went back to my fren's krew and we saw that they had made their little circle of frenz thing. Tan and I didn't wanna intrude so we kinda stayed outta it and grooved. All of a sudden, my fren grabbed me and threw me into her krews party! Jeez. Well, i found some ladies dancin in there and i decided, "what the hell mite as well join em." So i danced for a few minutes and i hafta say i was gettin really really hot. After a while, i grabbed my pal over der and shoved him in with me and we all kinda partied a bit. It was quite fun actually. Really loosened me up. Slow songs were neat too. I danced with my fren the whole evening and I got to know her. Yup, sacramento sux. Everything she tol me bout San Jose made Sac look like shiet. Slow dance, fast dance, fast dance, fast dance, slow dance...that was the pattern that went. That evening was prolly 10 times better that the nite before's. I had so much fun! There was juss one thing that coulda made it bettah tho...since it was junior prom that i was missing that nite...
WoW! Sweatin like a dog had new meaning... jeez. I was pooped. After the dance at about 12:30, everyone exitted the area. Tan and I came out and kinda waited outside the door checkin out all the peepo. I said i was gunna go up , but tan remained down there to find some lady he had danced wit. I went up the stairs cuz i juss knew the elevators were gunna overload. So up six flights of stairs i went. Up Up Up, slowly but surely. I took the time to review my day as i climbed the interior of the Westin Hotel...wut a day. I got to floor six and opened it up. Walkin thru the hallway was kinda...quiet. Like an eternal peace. This was prolly the only time that i spent alone without the company of tan throughout my whole trip. Passing by my advisors room, i saw a bunch of our clubbers who missed out on a terrific dance. They said sumthin to me, i said sumthin to them, but i ferget wut. I was still in a state of daze. Walked 2 more steps and I was at my door.
CRAP! ITS BEEN 4 EVER SINCE I UPDATED THIS! KINDA FORGOT A LOT...
Well...i went in and there was our room already fast asleep (gee i bet he had a great time that nite - *cough cough*). i went in and started to undress...(yea i know...all u ladies are startin to dream it in yo heads - haha! y'all prolly sayin EWWW tho). k, i didn't strip that much, just my jacket n tie. I went to the bathroom and washed my face a bit cuz i was hella hot. Came out, sat on the couch. I sat down, tilted my head back, and closed my eyes. THUK THUK THUK, its tan at the door. i get out of the chair and walk to the door to open it. He comes in and we both sit down on the king size bed. *SIGH* relaxing. We talk a bit, but we're hella tired. RIIIIIIIIIIIING tan pics up. Its our new friend. She juss wanted to talk so we talked. Then she puts on one of her other frens talk to tan. Me? I go to the bathroom. came out and now all of a sudden we're bout to go downstairs and into her room juss to kick it. So we got ready and we plan how we're gunna do it. If we got caught we'd be in DEEP shiet.
We derived this plan to pretend we were gettin ice from the vendors and juss slip on by. well we walked out the door with the bucket in hand and went downstairs. I felt scared cuz i don't think we could make up and excuse why we're in the stair way... NEways, we safely got to the floor below our room. Then all we had to do now was get to the room and it was all the way on the other side of the hotel. so we slyly got their...well, there weren't any watchers, but when we got to the door, they let us in. 3 girls awake, 1 asleep, and us in one room. We go in and we juss kinda kick it. We talk bout where we're from, show pics, watch tv...and then the telephone rang. The people there kinda heard mine and tan's voice and started to get suspicious. It was a very nosy fren of theirs too. Well, we started to get kinda paranoid, but we kinda went on about our business after the call. Wut really made us jump was when sumone knocked at the door. Tan and I quickly got our asses to the bathroom and behind the curtains. At the door was one of their frenz. He was askin for sumthin from them but we all bet that he was actually checkin up on them. After that, we didn't wanna risk goin back up.
peepz actually took the time to read all dis...
