"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." - Dan Quayle

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful.  How true that is." - Dan Quayle

"The future will be better tomorrow." - Dan Quayle

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle

"The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other." - Dan Quayle

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe." - Dan Quayle

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." - Dan Quayle

"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts." - Dan Quayle

"For NASA, space is still a high priority" - Dan Quayle

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system." - Dan Quayle

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe." - Dan Quayle

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican." - Dan Quayle

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child." - Dan Quayle

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy but that could change." - Dan Quayle

"We are not ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." - Dan Quayle

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice-president, and that one word is 'to be prepared." - Dan Quayle

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." - Dan Quayle

"May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world." - Dan Quayle

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." - Dan Quayle

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children." - Dan Quayle

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world." - Dan Quayle

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." - Dan Quayle

"I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the future." - Dan Quayle

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." - Dan Quayle

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." - Dan Quayle

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make." - Dan Quayle

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history." - Dan Quayle

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." - Rita Mae Brown.

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." - George Gobol.

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." - WC Fields.

"I like children... fried." - W.C. Fields.

"There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all." - Robert Orben.

"Not only is life a bitch, it has puppies." - Adrienne Gusoff.

"We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." - Jeff Marder.

"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either." - Dick Cavett.

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." - Dave Edison.

"The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet." - Oliver Herford.

"You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone." - Al Capone.

"Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera." - James Stephens.

"To write a diary every day is like returning to one's own vomit." - Enoch Powell.

"It's not enough to succeed. Others must fail." - Gore Vidal.

"If you've got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow." - John Wayne.

"You cannot have everything. I mean, where would you put it?" - Steven Wright.

"The trouble with children is that they're not returnable." - Quentin Crisp.