Superman chased after the spit fighters, hoping to destroy them before they managed to destroy the vision. He flew up to one and tapped on the cockpit. The pilot looked up and Superman punched through the glass, turning his brain into a mixture resembling Sushi. The fighter spun and swerved out of control taking out all of the ships that had adapted to the vision. He turned around and saw a new wing of ships attacking them. Several ports opened on them and harmless red light emerged. Superman charged forward before discovering that he couldn't breathe. As eveything began to go dark, he realized that all those red beams were like a concentrated red sun. He was at his final moment when his power returned. He looked up and saw.. Himself! It was superman, wearing green coveralls, and the superman logo had a "B" where the "S" should be, and he was wearing glasses, a cap and a mustache and he looked like Michael Palin and he was riding a bicycle... Alright, he was absolutely nothing like Superman but you get the Idea. As he finished bashing the fighters with a wrench he turned to the Man of Steel
"Who are you?" Superman asked.
"Well, guv'nor" the stranger said, in a British accent, "The name's Bicycle Repair Man."
"Superman."
"Not sure I understand you."
"I'm a man and I'm super."
"Wot, is that all you do, being super? At least I'm more specific with my powers."
"Guys!" Vision yelled from his position in the middle of 50 squads of angry spit fighters, "A little help here!"
"Shall we?" said the original.
"Yes, let's."
***
Meanwile, in stately Wayne Chapel:
Dick Grayson: Wow! Gee-golly whiz! The actual Bob Kane! Who's Bob Kane, Bruce?
Bruce Wayne: Well, old chum, I beleive that he once wrote a comic book about a man named Batm-"
Sister Harriet: Comic books! Father, you should be ahsamed, letting a boy of Dick's age read comic books! Don't you know how evil they are! EVIL!
Sister Harriet pickes up a nearby ruler and whacks Dick in the face.
Bob Kane: The Hell-
A scene reminescent of that one scene in "Blues Brothers" where they're swearing in front of the nun takes place until Bruce's butler, Alfred enters, stone drunk.
Alfred: Yo Bruce! It's the red phone!
Bruce: Why, what on earth ore you talking about, old chum?
Alfred: You know, that secert red phone in the rectory next to the bust of Pope John Paul II with the hidden swith that opens up the door to your top secert cave-
Bruce: Oh yes, I remember. Come Dick, we've got a sermon to preach.
Dick: Wow! Holy Giveaway Bruce! I wonder who were're fighting this week!
Bruce: Shh- remember, you're Dick Grayson, not Cardinal, the Altar Boy Wonder.
Dick: Oh, just like you're Bruce Wayne and not Popeman, the Caped Crusade Leader.
They rush off toward the rectory.
Harriet: Why do they always have so many sermons to perform? And whay at all these random times.
Alfred: Shut up and kiss me! Hic!
Alfred falls over and throws up.
In the rectory, Bruce picks up a flashing red phone.
Bruce: Hello, commissioner.
Commissioner: Popeman, there's some sort of wierd planet-sized object in orbit around earth.
Bruce: Can't the police do something?
Commissioner: This is the Vatican City, our police force is completely inneffective and the cheif is a bad steriotype.
Cut to Cheif O'Hara dressed like a leprecaun sitting on a pot of gold eating a bowl of lucky charms.
Cheif: Faith and Beggorah! Faith and Beggorah!
Bruce: I see. We'll be right there. Quickly cardinal, to the Popecave!
Cardinal flips up the head of the bust of the pope and the altar slides back revealing 2 shiny poles. Before getting on them Popeman hits a button marked "Pope-Badly-Animated-opeining-sequence."

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-Popeman!

Na-na-na-na-na-na etc.

Bruce and Dick slide down the poles in each other costumes. They look at themselves, go back up the poles using the elevators, switch poles and come down again in their correct costumes, Bruce in a pope outfit, Dick in a cardinal's outfit, both with bits of the hats that come down over their eyes. They jump into the popemobie which just appeared.
Cardinal: Atomic batteries to power, turbines to speed.
Popeman: Roger, ready to move out.
The rocket at the back of the popemobile ignites and they drive out of the popecave toward downtown Vatican City. A stylized pope-hat comes toward the screen with a swirly background and the scene changes to Popeman and Cardinal standing outside a tall building.
Popeman: We must use our Pope-ropes to get up to that giant structure!
Popeman takes a cross out of his belt and throws it up. It falls back down. He takes out a Pope-shotgun, rams the cross in the barrel and fires it upward. It doesn't come down. They grab on and walk sideways up the building. Halfway up a window opens and a dinosaur sticks hishead out.
Grimlock: Me Grimlock want know who walk on wall!
Popeman: Be calm good citzen, it is merely your neighborhood superheroes.
Grimlock: Popeman had me Grimlock worried for a minute. Me Grimlock must get back to tea party!
He shuts the window and they climb on until Popeman suddenly stops.
Popeman: Cardinal, did you remember to put the Pope-culb on the Popemobile?
Cardinal: Holy D'oh, Popeman, I forgot. I'll be right back.
He stands up and runs down the side of the building. 30 seconds later he reappearred.
Popeman: How did you do that?
Cardinal: You don't wanna know(wink).
(Wink)
Later, at the top.
Popeman: What on earth is this orange whirly thing?
Cardinal: Holy Plot Device, Popeman, it looks like a dimensionial portaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-!
They are sucked in and arrive at Khazan, surrounded by aliens. Seeing a threat, they wade into the crowd and start punching and kicking randomly.
POW!
OOOF!
WHACK!
OUCH!
THWACK!
42!
JOHN 3:16!
Random Alien: Hey man, you didn't even hit us!
How will our caped crusaders stop this evil alien invasion?
Will Khazan be destroyed by War World?
Is this the end of my narrating career?
Find out nxet post, Same Pope-Time, Same Pope-Webpage!

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