JOHN$ON TRU$T HEI$T

Early in the evening last night the Johnson Trust bank was robbed. The night guard, 57 year old Harvey Parkens, had this to say. "I was manning my post as normal when I was assaulted from the rear by a chloroform coated handkerchief. I did my best to get a look at him before I passed out. The police artist did a nice job of creating what I saw from my descriptions. They thought they were sneaky but the authorities will get theme."

The Johnson Trust bank was built nearly 30 years ago and has only had two other incidences similar to this. The previous incidents were daytime robberies at gunpoint to get the cash in the teller drawers. The safe, built especially for this structure, has a lock that was said to be almost un-crackable. Guess someone found that margin of error and used it to their advantage. An offical statement will be released later as to how the lock was beaten and precautions will be made to couter act future attempts.

The bank manager Mr. Jeremiah Johnson released a statement of the following. "We are upset that someone would steal anything much less than the money earned over a Christmas season. We will do our best to cover accounts and try to continue to offer loans at their current rate. Security that was going to be increased this fall will be stepped up to this spring in light of last nights happening. We are just glad they chose not to hurt Harvey."

The valut was at nearly its peak capacity making the grand total just under $70,000. That kind of money will likely leave a trail when it is spent and the authorities are counting on it to help them find the thieves.

Remember folks the banks are just not the owners and managers responsibility, they are everyone's. If you see something strange around a local business please report it to the nearest authority as soon as possible. Remember, sometimes the smallest actions can lead to more than what is on the surface. The authorities are paid to piece clues like them together so events like this won't happen in the future.

Wallace Zane

 


 

Hearing is believing

Have you had your radio on in the evenings lately? If you have, you are likely getting your car fixed by Isiah or eating Italian at Machavilie's. Yes, WSHD is running only ads for these businesses in all of its time slots. To bad they didn’t tell the other advertisers of this new programming, they have since pulled their spots and the money that came with them.

Though the establishments are very good it is strange that the two of them would be the only two being played. You should check these businesses out if you get the chance, you know I will.

Gregory Flannel


 

Fighting for fun and profit?

Have you ever wanted to clobber the fellow next to you at work that keeps passing gas in your direction? Ever been rudely cut off by a stranger and not gotten even the most feeble of apologies? Well then what you might need is a little warehouse fight to take up some of that stress. Yes warehouse fighting has started up in our fair city. What you might ask? Is that legal? Well so far it is, no one has gotten hurt and the police presence in there to keep things under control incase things get out of hand. Hard to believe but true.

Though not everything about it is as legal as this article starts out. The fighting itself is not illegal but the side bets going on in the fringes are. Some reports put bets as high as three or four thousand dollars for one fight. The police presence is there to find the bet takers also for these types of fights can lead to fraudulent acts.

From an entertainment aspect though they do appeal to the man in most everyone. If you watch long enough you will likely see "Fury Fists" Frankie beating on the competition. He has quickly become a favorite and is the current champion for the past several weeks.

Remember, bring your boredom and not your dollars, the cops are there also.

Markus Moll


Ravena the Fortune Teller

Open every night late till dawn. Come by and have your cards read and find out what the future has in store for you.

Wealth?
Health?
Love?
Adventure?

Come by and see if you can catch a glimpse of tomorrow.

Cash and Check accepted, trades welcome.


 

If your going to name names

Reporter Amanda Heart last week wrote a colum about a local business man implicating that he was involved in the police station bombing. Amanda also quoted her "source" to be another local and well respected business man as being an eye witness. Though he was unavailable for comment other witnesses say they saw him at his eating establishment at the very time the bomb exploded. Starting and ending the night there.

Ms. Heart has since been let go and her beat will be filled shortly by professional and more experienced writer.

Amanda, if you are reading this, notice the only name I used was validated and I have aditional sources that will back me up in case of a discrepency.

Conrad Green

April 1, 1900

 

 

 

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