Actual Headlines...
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- Miami police officer kills man with toy gun
- Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
- Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
- Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
- Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
- British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
- Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
- Eye Drops Off Shelf
- Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
- Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
- Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
- Miners Refuse to Work after Death
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- Stolen Painting Found by Tree
- Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
- Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Times in 10 Years
- Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
- War Dims Hope for Peace
- If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- Deer Kill 17,000
- Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
- Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
- Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
- Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
- Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
- House passes gas tax onto senate
- Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
- Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
- William Kelly was fed secretary
- Milk drinkers are turning to powder
- Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
- Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
- Farmer bill dies in house
- Eye drops off shelf
- Squad helps dog bite victim
- Dealers will hear car talk at noon
- Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
- Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
- Miners refuse to work after death
- Two Soviet ships collide - one dies
- Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter
- Never withhold herpes from loved one
- Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
- Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
- Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
- If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while
- War dims hope for peace
- Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
- Cold wave linked to temperatures
- Child's death ruins couple's holiday
- Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
- Man is fatally slain
- Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
- Stud Tires Out
- Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
- Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
- British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
- Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
- Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
- Air Head Fired
- Steals Clock, Faces Time
- Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
- Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
- Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
- Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
- Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training