forsaken



he is the forsaken, he kills all of your dreams
he hates you he loves to hear your screams
i know him he is me i am him
i cannot stop i am at its whim
it scars me i scar you
i'm trapped i don't know what to do
i have no mercy i am incapable of it
i am dead within, a flame no longer lit
i hurt you, it makes me do these things
i want to die, end the misery and painful stings
never will i be released i am hate's servant
i want to escape it won't let me i can't
i know it's weakness it can't stop me
but i can't stop it it has the key
a key to the end of this suffering and hate
but i hold it back, biding my time and its in wait
i am forsaken, i hate all and myself
but it is i who created this and i who suffers
blaming not myself, but hating and blaming others
allowing the desperation to grow ominously great
hoping i can kill it if only i can wait
in the pain i self inflict it revels and grows
as the humanity leaves and the blood flows
gaping wounds always in my mind
signs of the end nowhere can i find
i thought i was in control but i find i am not
my thoughts corrode my emotions rot
i feel no longer human but know i am nothing more
i alienate myself and numb myself to the core
but all fails, i am full of sorrow
hoping all were fixed tomorrow
but i know it will not
no one cares i'm as insignifigant as a dot
in a sea of lives i could have had and changed
but nothing came out right, i'm lost and deranged


cmg

10/5/98



my abyss...
black notebook