Today was not a good day for me. no. It started out all normal, I woke up, went to my mom's room, sat on her bed, and asked her to take me to the movies. She said no. She told me to get out of her room and go watch tv in the family room. So of course, I was a bit hurt.

I went to the family room and my brother was watching football on that tv. So I told him I was going into his room to watch the tv in there. He got mad. He followed me into his room and literally removed me from there. So I then attempted to watch the tv in the family room, and he removed me from the couch onto the ground. Then I decided to go back into his room.

By this time he was getting angry. so he grabbed me by the hair and pulled me out of his room. I spose he expected it to end there. I began hitting him as hard as I could and he just giggled and pretended like he was hurt and fell to the ground. I started screaming and kicking him in the stomach and all the time he was laughing at me. My mom came out, told us to stop, then went back to her room. Finally, Perry pulled me down, slammed my head into the ground, and twisted my arm. Then he got up and started watching football again.

I was physically and emotionally in a lot of pain. I started crying and screaming all kinds of things. And when I say screaming, I mean really screaming. The kind you regret later. My mom came out to find me on the ground, crying. She scolded my brother for hurting me, then tried to ignore me on the ground. But I didn't let her. I told them both I hate them and they make my life miserable and I never want to come home again and I am staying in Maryland taking summer school so I don't have to see them, etc etc. My brother continued to laugh at me, and my mom left the room.

I stayed on the floor for over an hour, crying and screaming. Finally my mom came and tried to get me up, but I pushed her and told her I hate her and to leave me alone. I don't know what happened next. I think I passed out. The last thing I remember is not being able to open my left eye because so much snot had gathered around it.

And the next thing I remember is being in my bed at 5 o'clock in the evening. I imagine my mom had Perry put me there, but I really don't know. Perhaps I walked myself.

Today I really scared myself. I think I scared everyone. I felt completely out of control of myself. This of course has happened a few times before. I call it my yearly mental breakdown, where I finally let things get to me and go nuts. But I think this was the worst yet. I've never gone so insane like that.

I don't really know how I am going to deal with being here for winter break. It's going to be hell. I cannot talk to my mother or Perry. They disgust me. I know my mom loves me, but she sure didn't show it today. I got out of bed, and she pretended like nothing had happened. I think it really freaked her out, to see me like that. Yeah, I guess I can understand that.