INSPIRATION FOR SALESPEOPLE: A COLLECTION OF HEARTWARMING QUOTATIONS TO MOVE THE SOUL
08/07
Cursed geocities! I damn them thrice over for their crapulent page builder, and its constant crashing. Well, no more! Now the secret Vivi page will contain a crash count- how many times this stupid thing crashes on me while in use. Muhaha. I'll start it out at- oh, say 25. That sounds about right. Now, to the matter at hand- I'm running kind of low on quotes, but no fear, only on quotes from work. I'm sure I can find sufficient quotage elsewhere. For now, enjoy the dregs of Leon's quotes.
1. "Customers can smell desperation a mile away."
Deeper meaning:
This is another example of a quote which cleverly hints at the necessity to not flock around customers like a bevey of underfed vultures. This, unfortunately, is a deep-set, basic instinct, inherent to most salespeople, and even with constant reminders, they still slip occasionally and circle around like lions on a dying elk. It's really rather sad, if you think about it, since this quote is essentially true- people are not really going to be willing to buy from someone who reeks of desperation, poverty, a need to sell something, and urine and sweat, in some cases. Really, there's only so many ways you can say this, though, which is sad, since none of them really work.
The human nose, as seen when suffering from rhinitis. Even a common cold, however, cannot block the nagging odour of a desperate salesperson. Especially not if they reek like urine.
2. "The customer is always right.."
Deeper meaning:
Screw deeper meaning- this is just a load of crap. It's true crap, unfortunately, but it's still crap. This half-baked sentiment has led to three generations of stupid women who parade unmercifully into stores demanding they be satisfied, demanding better service, demanding that their every whim be met, demanding the attention that they deserve as the center of the universe. Though some of these are certainly large enough to warrant this attention, it's still irritating as hell when managers the world over buy into this sententious crap. They lovingly perpetuate this provision of a venue for women having a bad day to go somewhere and bitch- because believe me, the only people who actually say this are bitches.
Denizens of bitch.com. They're otherwise occupied right now, but if they weren't engaging in a lesbian fuckfest, they'd probably be complaining about something.
3. "The problem with experience is that the test comes before the lesson."
Deeper Meaning:
Life happens, and you can only really learn from something after the fact. Really, this is just a derivative of "Hindsight is 20/20", but we'll just let that slide for now. More statement of the obvious, unfortunately, which seems to be a common thread among derivative quotes. It doesn't really apply to sales, but hey, it's a nice message to impart to people who live for the moment and never think ahead. If nothing else, it might make them more careful- assuming they ever read the quote, of course.
Another good point about buying flippers from this kid. Can't you just see the evil intent oozing from his face?
4. "Experience is the best teacher."
Deeper Meaning:
This is a slightly less embittered outlook on experience. The obvious meaning of this quote is coupled with a nice, negative subtext- Don't make the same mistake twice. This particular adage has already been discussed herein, so we'll just leave that particular point alone for now. This is basically another example of trying to teach people to learn from their actions. Hey, if you get right down to it, experience is what makes everyone what they are. How's that for an idea? It certainly wasn't a fluid conclusion to this paragraph.
Experience teaches ad execs to put women in positions where men would be expected. It worked in the 50s, and I assume it works now, given its common use in commercials.
This page deserves a giant ugly button! Go back home now!