INSPIRATION FOR SALESPEOPLE: A COLLECTION OF HEARTWARMING QUOTATIONS TO MOVE THE SOUL

07/21

   Damnable summer.. always making me take 9 days to update this page... I guess I'm not on any sort of schedule, but I should at least appear to be regularly updating something I claim is regular. Then again, it's not like there's all that many people reading this, so I guess the inconvenience isn't so great.  This... week... I've got some excellent aphoristic garbage for you to shovel up.  Enjoy!

1. "Too many cooks spoil the broth."

Deeper meaning:
The more politically correct bastard child of "Too many chiefs, not enough Indians," this saying lacks all the emphasis of the parent it was derived from in the name of prissiness.  Even so, it does remind salespeople that flocking like vultures at a person is not likely to increase their chances of making a sale.  Sadly, this innate feature to the salesperson's soul is virtually impossible to control with the mere power of a quote, so they still do it anyway(just with a little more subtlety). It also applies to life, most specifically in the field of economics.  A theory there known as the Point of Diminishing Returns shows that after a certain point, heaping more people onto a job is less cost effective.  Isn't pseudo-science fun?

This particular broth was spoiled rotten, having been lavished with attention and pampering. Thoroughly overtreated, it became sentient, floated out a window, and engulfed this photographer out of pure malice.

Deeper meaning:
Well, there isn't much meaning here, really.  It's a lousy quote, designed to both drive in the obvious and gush eloquent about the joys of pretending you're not just after the customer's money.  I doubt it really fools anyone, though- after all, would you sell stuff to total strangers out of the goodness of your heart?  

2. "Price is price. Value is the total experience."

Value Added Products.  Contrary to the above statement, they do little to enhance any experience, total or otherwise.  Mostly, they just enhance salespeople's paycheques.

Deeper Meaning:
Another quote lacking in any sort of profundity, this is more obvious advice, given just in case the salesperson hasn't read a detailed book on the secret to sales.  Questions are highly advisable, apparently, and there's even prescribed distances you're supposed to stand from a customer while you're pawning shit off on them.  Heck, it's so scientific they even have a little guidebook with such gems as "I'll just look after the extended warranty on that, ok Harry?"
I'd never buy anything with a pitch like that, but there's a whole legion of deaf little old ladies with too much money for their own good.  No wonder relatives go shopping with them- not only can they protect against impulse buying , they can get a piece of the action!

3.   "Always ask questions."

Especially a good idea if this kid is trying
to sell you flippers.  I don't exactly know why-
I just found this picture first, so I figured I'd
us it.

4. "If you want anything done right, you've got to do it yourself."

Generally unadvisable, even by yourself.

Deeper Meaning:
The opposite to the leadoff quote, this one is more obvious advice on a day of obvious advice.  More railing against teamwork, obviously not a good thing in sales.

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