The Page o' Poop- Poo Stories: Real Poopers, Real Experiences

Each Poo Story has a toilet rating out of 5. *Note that any grammatic or spelling errors are the fault of the person who submitted the story =)
Poo Stories that received a 5 have the Poo Excellence Award thingy next to 'em.

These are the most recent stories. Click here to go to page two of our collection of poo literature.

"She's One Sh*tty Skank"- Poopster 11/9/99
"Rocket Butt"- CthulhuPoo 11/8/99
"Eat Sh*t, Mom!"- Anonymous 5/15/99
"One Sick Guy and His Poo Fetish"- Rick 4/29/99
"The Evil Within...My Azz"- Firesign 4/29/99
"Holding It In For Too Long"- Raisin 4/11/99
"Boy Scouts and Ex-Lax Just Don't Mix"- Al-Azif 3/5/99
"I Just Shat On My Clothes."- CraPghaST 1/13/99
"When Elephants' Azzes Attack"- Zooman 1/7/99

MORE POO STORIES!!!

"She's One Sh*tty Skank"

Author: Poopster Email: Northshre@aol.com Date Submitted: 11/9/99 Toilet Rating: 1

One day while me and my freinds were walking we decided to play a trick on someone and it happened to be the funniest moment in my life. We got this whore girl who does the sickest s#*T at our school to come to the woods with us where we all pooped in a bag then we all wiped it all over her. then we made her roll areound on the ground pikin lots of leaves and then took a polaroid of her. My best frined was a yearbook editor so he put hte picture of her on the next school newspaper front page where it read "THE POOPSTER IS ALIVE AGIAN!!" From then no one ever talked to her except for me and my buds cuz we loved her.

Comments from PoopHead: ...What the hell? That's just messed up. Shame on Poopster and this supposed ho. This story gets a low-azz score because it's simply disgusting, even for a poo story, and there seems to be a fantasy factor. How would the administration of a school allow its newspaper to have this craziness on the front page or anywhere in its contents? I don't see how being the editor of the yearbook means this guy can have this picture placed on the front page of the newspaper. Get help, Northshre@aol.com, fo' ya mama's sake.

*"She's One Shtty Skank"**
Author: Poopster	Email: Northshre@aol.com	Date Submitted: 11/9/99	Toilet Rating: 1
One day while me and my freinds were walking we decided to play a trick on someone and it happened to be the funniest moment in my life. We got this whore girl who does the sickest s#*T at our school to come to the woods with us where we all pooped in a bag then we all wiped it all over her. then we made her roll areound on the ground pikin lots of leaves and then took a polaroid of her. My best frined was a yearbook editor so he put hte picture of her on the next school newspaper front page where it read "THE POOPSTER IS ALIVE AGIAN!!" From then no one ever talked to her except for me and my buds cuz we loved her.
Comments from PoopHead: ...What the hell? That's just messed up. Shame on Poopster and this supposed ho. This story gets a low-azz score because it's simply disgusting, even for a poo story, and there seems to be a fantasy factor. How would the administration of a school allow its newspaper to have this craziness on the front page or anywhere in its contents? I don't see how being the editor of the yearbook means this guy can have this picture placed on the front page of the newspaper. Get help, Northshre@aol.com, fo' ya mama's sake.

"Rocket Butt"

Author: CthulhuPoo Email: qyv@tomgreen.zzn.com Date Submitted: 11/8/99 Toilet Rating: 5

When I was a wee lad, I was constantly shootin' stuff out all ends. One time, my Aunt Jenny turned me upside down and I yakked down her throat. But that's nothing compared to the incident I fondly recall as "Rocket Butt." I was less than a year old, my mother tells me, and she was changing a particularly nasty poop when all of a sudden, I lifted my legs and let fly with a poop that went clear across the kitchen and splattered all over the door of the oven. Wheee!!!!!

Comments from PoopHead: This one comes from CthulhuPoo, the laziest OoP member after PooP. Well, it's a simple, pleasantly amusing story...Poo Excellence Award material. Too bad the oven door wasn't open with a tray of cookies inside waiting for that extra chocolate flava.

"Rocket Butt"
Author: CthulhuPoo	Email: qyv@tomgreen.zzn.com	Date Submitted: 11/8/99	Toilet Rating: 5
When I was a wee lad, I was constantly shootin' stuff out all ends. One time, my Aunt Jenny turned me upside down and I yakked down her throat. But that's nothing compared to the incident I fondly recall as "Rocket Butt." I was less than a year old, my mother tells me, and she was changing a particularly nasty poop when all of a sudden, I lifted my legs and let fly with a poop that went clear across the kitchen and splattered all over the door of the oven. Wheee!!!!!
Comments from PoopHead: This one comes from CthulhuPoo, the laziest OoP member after PooP. Well, it's a simple, pleasantly amusing story...Poo Excellence Award material. Too bad the oven door wasn't open with a tray of cookies inside waiting for that extra chocolate flava.

"Eat Sh*t, Mom!"

Author: Anonymous Email: psycoticgurl@mailcity.com Date Submitted: 5/15/99 Toilet Rating: 4

I was so excited! I had just moved into town, made a wonderful friend(who shall remain nameless), and was heading over to her house for a sleepover! As I got there, she introduced me to her stepmom and little brother, Kurt. After dinner, her stepmom left to get muchies for later. But what she didn't know was that my friend had found her secret stash of chocolate bars(I'm sure you know where this is going, but I still find it funny to this day). So anyways, we ate them all, and being the slobs we were, left the wrappers on the floor. Kurt came up, whining "poopies!", so my friend took off his diaper and went to get a clean one. The stench was horrific, so I decided to follow. When we got back, my friend's stepmom was in the room, not noticing that Kurt had dumped the contents of his diaper(it was that kind that peels off easily-ick!) onto her pillow. She did however, notice the candy wrappers on the floor. She yelled at my friend and grabbed the pillow. She said "i! f you're going to eat my chocolate, don't leave the evidence!" and reached for the poo pile. We protested, begging her not to eat it, but she did, after declaring, "you only don't want me to eat it 'cuz it's mine!" And so she got a mouthful of sh*t. We still tease her about it today, 7 years later. And Kurt still doesn't believe he ever did such a thing.

Comments from PoopHead: Reminiscent of Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Amusing.

*"Eat Sht, Mom!"**
Author: Anonymous	Email: psycoticgurl@mailcity.com	Date Submitted: 5/15/99	Toilet Rating: 4
I was so excited! I had just moved into town, made a wonderful friend(who shall remain nameless), and was heading over to her house for a sleepover! As I got there, she introduced me to her stepmom and little brother, Kurt. After dinner, her stepmom left to get muchies for later. But what she didn't know was that my friend had found her secret stash of chocolate bars(I'm sure you know where this is going, but I still find it funny to this day). So anyways, we ate them all, and being the slobs we were, left the wrappers on the floor. Kurt came up, whining "poopies!", so my friend took off his diaper and went to get a clean one. The stench was horrific, so I decided to follow. When we got back, my friend's stepmom was in the room, not noticing that Kurt had dumped the contents of his diaper(it was that kind that peels off easily-ick!) onto her pillow. She did however, notice the candy wrappers on the floor. She yelled at my friend and grabbed the pillow. She said "i! f you're going to eat my chocolate, don't leave the evidence!" and reached for the poo pile. We protested, begging her not to eat it, but she did, after declaring, "you only don't want me to eat it 'cuz it's mine!" And so she got a mouthful of sh*t. We still tease her about it today, 7 years later. And Kurt still doesn't believe he ever did such a thing.
Comments from PoopHead: Reminiscent of Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Amusing.

"One Sick Guy and His Poo Fetish"

Author: Rick Email: rbmiller@erols.com Date Submitted: 4/29/99 Toilet Rating: 1

I have allways had a fetish with watching and listening to women poop. Women tend to be more gaseous and explosive than men, and it's the women of color that really take the prize. The last girlfriend I had was a very attractive black southern lady and she could put out some woppers. One evening while we were alone in my condo, she got a real bad tummy ache, so whe went to sit on the pot. After sitting for a while and not being able to pass anything, she asked me to come in and rub her tummy. With her sitting on the can and me massaging her middle, she suddenly let out a huge fart. Then I heard a loud rumble coming from her gut. Then, all a sudden her ass exploded and a rather large simi-soft log began to squeeze out of her rear end. It got longer and longer. She grunted loudly and her but crackled as I was really getting off seeing that huge Alabama black snake dropping into the toilet. She let out a loud "aahhh" as she started to relax. The next moment, Her but started to make noise again and this time there was another explosion followed by a wave of runny sh*t. This went on for about 10 minutes. When all was said and done, the toilet was filled to the brim with that big bad snake poppin' it's head out of the sh*t bowl. Man,.. can anyone tell me what those SISTAS eat!!

Comments from PoopHead: Alright. Sick mo'fo's, don't bother sending this sorta crap in. Feel free to e-mail Rick and tell him how messed up he is. This story was saved from a Toilet Rating of 0 because of the last line, "Man, can anyone tell me what those SISTAS eat!!" That's kinda funny.

"One Sick Guy and His Poo Fetish"
Author: Rick	Email: rbmiller@erols.com	Date Submitted: 4/29/99	Toilet Rating: 1
I have allways had a fetish with watching and listening to women poop. Women tend to be more gaseous and explosive than men, and it's the women of color that really take the prize. The last girlfriend I had was a very attractive black southern lady and she could put out some woppers. One evening while we were alone in my condo, she got a real bad tummy ache, so whe went to sit on the pot. After sitting for a while and not being able to pass anything, she asked me to come in and rub her tummy. With her sitting on the can and me massaging her middle, she suddenly let out a huge fart. Then I heard a loud rumble coming from her gut. Then, all a sudden her ass exploded and a rather large simi-soft log began to squeeze out of her rear end. It got longer and longer. She grunted loudly and her but crackled as I was really getting off seeing that huge Alabama black snake dropping into the toilet. She let out a loud "aahhh" as she started to relax. The next moment, Her but started to make noise again and this time there was another explosion followed by a wave of runny sht. This went on for about 10 minutes. When all was said and done, the toilet was filled to the brim with that big bad snake poppin' it's head out of the sht bowl. Man,.. can anyone tell me what those SISTAS eat!!
Comments from PoopHead: Alright. Sick mo'fo's, don't bother sending this sorta crap in. Feel free to e-mail Rick and tell him how messed up he is. This story was saved from a Toilet Rating of 0 because of the last line, "Man, can anyone tell me what those SISTAS eat!!" That's kinda funny.

"The Evil Within...My Azz"

Author: Firesign Email: none given Date Submitted: 4/29/99 Toilet Rating: 5

A friend of mine once told me, "You know, when you smell something, it's because tiny particles of that thing are floating around." Keeping this in mind, I begin my tale. I was 17 and in love. However, the object of my affection had to break up with me because she "loved me too much". Distrought, I managed to get my hands on a bottle of Vodka. I had very little experience with hard liquor at the time, and began drinking heavily. It was late on a Friday night, and no one else was up. In my fit of depression, I needed something to eat. I went through the fridge and pantry, and could find nothing to snack on. However, in the freezer, there was a bag of prunes. A big bag. I proceeded to sit in front of the TV and eat said bag of prunes. I was too drunk to know what I was doing. When I woke up the next morning, I knew I had done a bad thing. In the kitchen, I found a cerial bowl with a mound of prune seeds. It didn't take long for the evil to kick in. What started as a slight discomfort in my stomach soon turned into gas. A lot of gas. Farts lasting for 2+ seconds, a minute or two apart from each other. For hours. It was kind of funny at first. I blew the prunes and other food out of my system in short time, and all that was left was gas. A lot of it. Now a good fart is big fun. For the first half hour. After that, things aren't so funny. Soon, I would let out a fart, and another one would build up. I tried to hold them back, but I couldn't stop the evil that was inside of me. You could tell from the smell that I was all torn up on the inside. This lasted for about three hours. In the end, the hollow place in my heart was replaced by the hollow place in my intestines, and I never ate prunes again.

Comments from PoopHead: I know how he feels. I've been out of commission for hours due to gas.

"The Evil Within...My Azz"
Author: Firesign	Email: none given	Date Submitted: 4/29/99	Toilet Rating: 5
A friend of mine once told me, "You know, when you smell something, it's because tiny particles of that thing are floating around." Keeping this in mind, I begin my tale. I was 17 and in love. However, the object of my affection had to break up with me because she "loved me too much". Distrought, I managed to get my hands on a bottle of Vodka. I had very little experience with hard liquor at the time, and began drinking heavily. It was late on a Friday night, and no one else was up. In my fit of depression, I needed something to eat. I went through the fridge and pantry, and could find nothing to snack on. However, in the freezer, there was a bag of prunes. A big bag. I proceeded to sit in front of the TV and eat said bag of prunes. I was too drunk to know what I was doing. When I woke up the next morning, I knew I had done a bad thing. In the kitchen, I found a cerial bowl with a mound of prune seeds. It didn't take long for the evil to kick in. What started as a slight discomfort in my stomach soon turned into gas. A lot of gas. Farts lasting for 2+ seconds, a minute or two apart from each other. For hours. It was kind of funny at first. I blew the prunes and other food out of my system in short time, and all that was left was gas. A lot of it. Now a good fart is big fun. For the first half hour. After that, things aren't so funny. Soon, I would let out a fart, and another one would build up. I tried to hold them back, but I couldn't stop the evil that was inside of me. You could tell from the smell that I was all torn up on the inside. This lasted for about three hours. In the end, the hollow place in my heart was replaced by the hollow place in my intestines, and I never ate prunes again.
Comments from PoopHead: I know how he feels. I've been out of commission for hours due to gas.

"Holding It In For Too Long"

Author: Raisin Email: a href="mailto:raisin6@yahoo.com">raisin6@yahoo.com Date Submitted: 4/11/99 Toilet Rating: 2

That dude DgrnxRules thinks he is the master poop holder but I've doubled what he did and the best thing about it is after a month of holding it you can't poop it all under normal conditions. Yeah you have to get this cool stuff that you push up your arse. After a little waiting all of your saved up rock hard month old poop is transformed into this funky looking chile like poop that wants to pour out of you with the force of a morter blast. Years of training to hold your poop tell you "HOLD THIS ITS YOUR GREATEST CHALLENGE YET!!!" so the gates to your intestines slam shut to meet the challenge but the force is great and brownish liguid begins to drible out your crack the old bungie saying now comes to your mind "FROG BLAST THE VENT CORE!!!". You let it rip and the blast is like a upside down mushroom cloud that launches you smack! into the wall at the far end of the bathroom. As you sink down the wall to the floor there is a look of complete ecstasy on your face while your thi! nking Damn that was a great poop!

Comments from PoopHead: No one can hold shitte in for a month. No one.

"Holding It In For Too Long"
Author: Raisin	Email: a href="mailto:raisin6@yahoo.com">raisin6@yahoo.com	Date Submitted: 4/11/99	Toilet Rating: 2
That dude DgrnxRules thinks he is the master poop holder but I've doubled what he did and the best thing about it is after a month of holding it you can't poop it all under normal conditions. Yeah you have to get this cool stuff that you push up your arse. After a little waiting all of your saved up rock hard month old poop is transformed into this funky looking chile like poop that wants to pour out of you with the force of a morter blast. Years of training to hold your poop tell you "HOLD THIS ITS YOUR GREATEST CHALLENGE YET!!!" so the gates to your intestines slam shut to meet the challenge but the force is great and brownish liguid begins to drible out your crack the old bungie saying now comes to your mind "FROG BLAST THE VENT CORE!!!". You let it rip and the blast is like a upside down mushroom cloud that launches you smack! into the wall at the far end of the bathroom. As you sink down the wall to the floor there is a look of complete ecstasy on your face while your thi! nking Damn that was a great poop!
Comments from PoopHead: No one can hold shitte in for a month. No one.

"Boy Scouts and Ex-Lax Just Don't Mix"

Author: Al-Azif Email: a href="mailto:azif@hotzp.com">azif@hotzp.com Date Submitted: 3/5/99 Toilet Rating: 5

This was about 8 years ago, when my friends and I were in the Boy Scouts. We had just gone camping and everyone had planned for revenge against Jesus Moralez for ratting out on us to the Scoutmaster on the previous trip. Andy K. (there was an Andy M.) had brought a container of Ex-Lax which he had pilfered from his dad's medical cabinet, and we were going to feed it to Jesus at the first opportunity. Well, Lady Luck smiled down on us, and Andy K. was given the duty of preparing the hot chocolate on our first night camping. We were barely able to contain our laughter, but I managed to stifle a laugh when I saw Andy K. slip Ex-Lax into Jesus's cup and he didn't stop with a small amount, let me tell you. He probably filled the cup halfway before he added any hot chocolate. No one knew how that much Ex-Lax was going to affect a 13 year-old with a properly functioning digestive tract. I let out a giggle as I handed Jesus his cup and laughed at loud when he tasted it and said, "Man! This is the best hot chocolate I ever tasted!" And on and on he droned until he had finished the entire glass. Now half of us were in tears of laughter in anticipation of what was to come but Jesus seemed unaware of our duplicity because we got pretty silly on a regular basis. We sat down around the fire and made preparations to sleep, but Jesus seemed totally unaffected by the Ex-Lax concoction. Suddenly, thunder struck and Jesus sprinted towards the bushes like papparazzi trying to catch celebrities naked on the beach. We heard some rustling in the bushes for a few minutes and started to laugh, but that only lasted until the horrible stench hit us. We ran around the fire in circles, desperately trying to evade the cloud of death which had descended upon us but to little avail. Eventually, the fog cleared and Jesus came back out the bushes, looking haggard and woebegone. We had stopped laughing by then (due to the evil stench) and Jesus had probably been concentrating too hard to hear our laughter before. I don't know how I managed to keep a straight face, but I asked him in a most innocent matter: "What's wrong, Jesus?" He replied, "I don't know. Some gas or something." Then his face paled and he ran back into the bushes. He started making dry heaving noises, so we approached the bushes thinking he was throwing up but he started to shout, "Get away! I'm fine!" We were pretty eager to leave, anyway, because the horrible odor was beginning to emanate from the bushes again. Back at the fire, the guys were all exchanging uneasy glances with one another. Our odor-induced and guilt-ridden reverie was shattered by screams of agony coming from the bushes. The tortured yells pierced the quiet night air for a few minutes, rousing the Scoutmaster from his tent. Hearing the screams, he came running as fast as he could and arrived somewhat winded. Jesus started making noises again, and we all had tremendously guilty looks on our faces. The Scoutmaster gave us a stern look before disappearing into the bushes. He came back out with what we thought was mud on his boots a few minutes later, leading Jesus away by the arm. He led Jesus back to his tent and admonished us, saying to stay away from the bushes and that he would lecture us later. Curious, we could not resist taking a peak into the bushes. Past the first few bushes where Jesus hid was the largest, most rancid, hideously deformed, odious pile of crap -- disgusting beyond all imagining -- that I have ever seen in my lifetime. I mean, by the size of it, it looked to be about half a foot high and quite wide. I couldn't imagine something that large and monstrous coming out of a 13-year old. We got a stern talking-to the next day but d**n it, it was worth it.

Comments from PoopHead: Having been one of our more intelligent members, Al-Azif exhibits excellent storytelling here. There's no other way to put it, this is simply splendid shitte! This deserves a Poo Excellence Award.

"Boy Scouts and Ex-Lax Just Don't Mix"
Author: Al-Azif	Email: a href="mailto:azif@hotzp.com">azif@hotzp.com	Date Submitted: 3/5/99	Toilet Rating: 5
This was about 8 years ago, when my friends and I were in the Boy Scouts. We had just gone camping and everyone had planned for revenge against Jesus Moralez for ratting out on us to the Scoutmaster on the previous trip. Andy K. (there was an Andy M.) had brought a container of Ex-Lax which he had pilfered from his dad's medical cabinet, and we were going to feed it to Jesus at the first opportunity. Well, Lady Luck smiled down on us, and Andy K. was given the duty of preparing the hot chocolate on our first night camping. We were barely able to contain our laughter, but I managed to stifle a laugh when I saw Andy K. slip Ex-Lax into Jesus's cup and he didn't stop with a small amount, let me tell you. He probably filled the cup halfway before he added any hot chocolate. No one knew how that much Ex-Lax was going to affect a 13 year-old with a properly functioning digestive tract. I let out a giggle as I handed Jesus his cup and laughed at loud when he tasted it and said, "Man! This is the best hot chocolate I ever tasted!" And on and on he droned until he had finished the entire glass. Now half of us were in tears of laughter in anticipation of what was to come but Jesus seemed unaware of our duplicity because we got pretty silly on a regular basis. We sat down around the fire and made preparations to sleep, but Jesus seemed totally unaffected by the Ex-Lax concoction. Suddenly, thunder struck and Jesus sprinted towards the bushes like papparazzi trying to catch celebrities naked on the beach. We heard some rustling in the bushes for a few minutes and started to laugh, but that only lasted until the horrible stench hit us. We ran around the fire in circles, desperately trying to evade the cloud of death which had descended upon us but to little avail. Eventually, the fog cleared and Jesus came back out the bushes, looking haggard and woebegone. We had stopped laughing by then (due to the evil stench) and Jesus had probably been concentrating too hard to hear our laughter before. I don't know how I managed to keep a straight face, but I asked him in a most innocent matter: "What's wrong, Jesus?" He replied, "I don't know. Some gas or something." Then his face paled and he ran back into the bushes. He started making dry heaving noises, so we approached the bushes thinking he was throwing up but he started to shout, "Get away! I'm fine!" We were pretty eager to leave, anyway, because the horrible odor was beginning to emanate from the bushes again. Back at the fire, the guys were all exchanging uneasy glances with one another. Our odor-induced and guilt-ridden reverie was shattered by screams of agony coming from the bushes. The tortured yells pierced the quiet night air for a few minutes, rousing the Scoutmaster from his tent. Hearing the screams, he came running as fast as he could and arrived somewhat winded. Jesus started making noises again, and we all had tremendously guilty looks on our faces. The Scoutmaster gave us a stern look before disappearing into the bushes. He came back out with what we thought was mud on his boots a few minutes later, leading Jesus away by the arm. He led Jesus back to his tent and admonished us, saying to stay away from the bushes and that he would lecture us later. Curious, we could not resist taking a peak into the bushes. Past the first few bushes where Jesus hid was the largest, most rancid, hideously deformed, odious pile of crap -- disgusting beyond all imagining -- that I have ever seen in my lifetime. I mean, by the size of it, it looked to be about half a foot high and quite wide. I couldn't imagine something that large and monstrous coming out of a 13-year old. We got a stern talking-to the next day but d**n it, it was worth it.
Comments from PoopHead: Having been one of our more intelligent members, Al-Azif exhibits excellent storytelling here. There's no other way to put it, this is simply splendid shitte! This deserves a Poo Excellence Award.

"I Just Shat On My Clothes."

Author: CraPghaST Email: a href="mailto:robberta@dds.nl">robberta@dds.nl Date Submitted: 1/13/99 Toilet Rating: 5

Well... I sometimes wear rather long woolen sweaters, They're nice and warm. But I have one that is REALLY stretched out. In full length it almost reaches my knees. At one time, I needed to go to the toilet very quick, so I ran in, pulled my pants down and sat on the toilet. Immediately poo came out, and a lot it was! But, it didn't feel quite right. It didn't fall the way it normally should. So I reached back, and looked at my sweater.....and then I knew. I had forgotten to pull my Xtra long sweater up, so I sat on the lower part of it. The shit was collected by the lower flap, and then rolled over the sweater into the toilet. Big brown lumps were sticking to the fabric...and it smelled!!! I wasn't at home, so I couldn't change clothes. I had to work the rest of the day with a sweater half covered with poo-leftovers. One should expect that I would watch my sweater closer when going to the toilet, but that's not true... Three weeks later I had diarhea. I was wearing the same Xtra long sweater and I had to rush to the toilet again. And again, I forgot to pull my sweater up when I sat down. But this time, it weren't hard turds, but watery thin.... uhmm...I can hardly call it poo. More a sort of brownish urine. Luckily I was at home, so I could change right away. I haven't worn that sweater in a long time now, but I know one thing: I'll never go to the toilet again when wearing that thing! If anyone else has experience with this, please tell! I want to know if I'm the only sucker in the world...
Comments from PoopHead: Let this be an educational reading for everyone. Be careful on the john...terrible, terrible things can happen. Excellent story.

"I Just Shat On My Clothes."
Author: CraPghaST	Email: a href="mailto:robberta@dds.nl">robberta@dds.nl	Date Submitted: 1/13/99	Toilet Rating: 5
Well... I sometimes wear rather long woolen sweaters, They're nice and warm. But I have one that is REALLY stretched out. In full length it almost reaches my knees. At one time, I needed to go to the toilet very quick, so I ran in, pulled my pants down and sat on the toilet. Immediately poo came out, and a lot it was! But, it didn't feel quite right. It didn't fall the way it normally should. So I reached back, and looked at my sweater.....and then I knew. I had forgotten to pull my Xtra long sweater up, so I sat on the lower part of it. The shit was collected by the lower flap, and then rolled over the sweater into the toilet. Big brown lumps were sticking to the fabric...and it smelled!!! I wasn't at home, so I couldn't change clothes. I had to work the rest of the day with a sweater half covered with poo-leftovers. One should expect that I would watch my sweater closer when going to the toilet, but that's not true... Three weeks later I had diarhea. I was wearing the same Xtra long sweater and I had to rush to the toilet again. And again, I forgot to pull my sweater up when I sat down. But this time, it weren't hard turds, but watery thin.... uhmm...I can hardly call it poo. More a sort of brownish urine. Luckily I was at home, so I could change right away. I haven't worn that sweater in a long time now, but I know one thing: I'll never go to the toilet again when wearing that thing! If anyone else has experience with this, please tell! I want to know if I'm the only sucker in the world...
Comments from PoopHead: Let this be an educational reading for everyone. Be careful on the john...terrible, terrible things can happen. Excellent story.

"When Elephants' Azzes Attack"

Author: Zooman Email: a href="mailto:goodfolk@webtv.net">goodfolk@webtv.net Date Submitted: 1/10/99 Toilet Rating: 5

I'm a zookeeper. My job is to keep the elephants and the hippos clean and healthy. I've had this job for a few years now, and having this job, I've learned a few important lessons: animals make monumental amounts of poop, and, shoveling dung is fun if you like poop. I have had many occurrings where the animals of my department have unexpectedly shown sexual preference in humans, and shown me that the colon is elastic beyond compare with any other stretchable matter. Once, I was closing up the area until I saw that Annie, the biggest of the female bull elephants was not feeling well. I checked her pulse, her temperature, ect. Her vital signs were not good. I went around to take a look at her caboose, and soon saw the problem. She was constipated, very extremely. The way it was all packed in so tightly was incredible. She must have been in constipation for at least a week or two. Had I not noticed her at the time that I did, Annie would have been found dead in the morning. I fed her bushel after bushel of figs, prunes, berries, and animal laxatives and gave her countless warm oliv e oil enemas. After three hours, it was about 11 o' clock. I was exhausted, but I had a long way to go. I had enough time to be left unseen, but I couldn't tell if I could finish the task at hand in time. When Annie couldn't eat another thing, I realized it was up to me to get her bowels going. I gave her what seemed like hundreds of enemas. At one point, I thought I heard a strange rumbling sound coming from Annie's butthole. I put my ear up to it, listening intensely for minutes. Suddenly, Annie backed up into me, completely enveloping my head into her inner butt. She started farting and pooping, and farting and pooping, on and on and on and on. The poop that came out covered my body in a brownish- orange coocoon of shit. I was able to stay alive by breathing carefully in a small pocket of methane (better than breathing diahrrea) inside the butt. I couldn't get free. The stuff tasted worse and worse. For over an hour I was stuck in her ass. When she finally stopped, I raised my head, and saw straight ahead of me, how much of her tightly packed poop she was rid of. Nowhere near a third of it all was gone! And that was all that I could see! Somewhere deeper there was more!! It began crawling in my direction, and an even more foul stench crossed my nostrils. It sped up and collided with me. The pressure f the poop squeezing against my body was unbearable. The duration of the second wave was longer. Wave after wve wet by that night. I've had other strange zoo poo experiences. That was just one of them. Annie was, as I said last time, making a major sloppy, funky bowel movement keeping my head, and even my shoulders, up her rectum while this was going on. It was actually possible because Annie is a bull elephant, one of the world's largest, wildest elegant creatures to walk this planet. Weighing in at four tons, and standing about one and a half stories tall, she sure could LOAD UP on SOME POOP!!! Well, I'd estimate that for about two hours she blasted hot sloppy joe around my shoulders. I stayed alive by breathing carefully in a pocket of methane inside her butt. I couldn't get out because for the duration of time that I could have backed out, I was in too much shock to move. And when I wanted to move, I just couldn't because of the weight of this overweight elephant's poop squeezing in on me. If you really wanted to know, I'll tell you. While I was up there, I accidentally took in at least half of her fecal wastes through my mouth. A clear photo of the inside of that elephant's butt is always in my mind. It seemed like looking at the inside of a cannon through the eyes of a human cannonball before being blasted out of it, except the walls of the 'cannon' were pink, slimy, an wrinkly, and there was no exit at the end of the 'cannon'. Once the elephant was finally done clearing it's bowels, she walked foward, releasing my head from her butt's grasp. Then she turned around, and licked my head (which was poking up out of this enormous mountain of poop, about one third the size of Annie) affectionately to show her appreciation for relieving her of her tormentous pain. After cleaning my face until it felt pretty clean, the elephant picked me up with its trunk and wiped its ass with my head like a q-tip (therefore, repeating this process a number of times, and using a little twisting action) until her butt was squeaky clean. Then, she brought me over to the mound of shit she had made and slammed me head-first into it. I felt as though she was blaming me for the giant mountain of fecal waste in the center of her cage. I went to the staff locker room and took a long, hot, thorough, long shower, gathered my stuff, and went home. I have an apartment, and I live alone, since I don't make enough money to support a real family. I didn't tell anyone (but you) about what happened that night. The next morning, I woke up realizing that I was going to have to clean up the giant dung pile that was sitting in the middle of Annie's cage. I hurriedly put on my uniform and bolted out of the door. I managed to get half of the dung outof sight before any of the other workers showed up. Even at half its original size, it was still larger than any pile of poop that any of the staff members had ever seen, so it recieved a lot of remarks from the staff members who saw it. I was lucky enough to get rid of the whole pile before the place opened up that day. I took the rest of the day off, and went back to the zoo at about 10:00pm that night. I checked on Annie to see how she was recovering. Before I could do anything, she licked my face, grapped me with her trunk, put me between her legs in front of her pussy. Looking at it, I realized that Annie had just entered heat that day. Her pussy was pink and swollen. She used my upper body to fuck her until The lips of her pussy opened up on their own and her juices flowed. I was actually having sexual intercourse with an elephant! Then, it all hit me at once. This elephant was a coprophiliac and a human lover! As soon as she was done 'playing' with me, I carefully checked on her, cleaned our mess up and went home. I went on acting as though nothing had happened. I ignored Annie's sexual oncomings for the next two weeks, hoping it would all blow over. But one night, as I was locking up the area, I noticed that Annie was looking a little pale and sickly. I took a look at the caboose and stuck my hand back there. A hard, sticky wall was obstructing the butt-passageway. I pounded on it, but it was really solid. Annie hadn't been defecating AT ALL this time! She walked straight back, and my whole arm was swallowed by the wall of condensed poop from my hand to my shoulder. Annie let out a moan. Man was she getting horny. I couldn't pull out. Annie's butt muscles began contracting wildly, and I was slowly being devoured by her butt. My whole upper body was slowly pulled inside her filthy, stinky ass. After staying there for a minute, I shouted 'Let me get the laxatives!' as if she could hear me. And, surely enough, in five seconds, she let me slide out of her butt. As I regained my composure by taking in new, fresh oxygen, Annie licked all of her feces off of me. I couldn't help but stare as she chewed it up and swallowed it. Once again, I fed the congested elephant a lot of bushels of prunes, figs, berries, and super elephant laxatives and gave her hot oil enemas. I timed everything carefully to make sure she didn't mess on my clean uniform. She chased me around the cage for a while hoping to catch me and use me for pleasure. She spilled a little diahrrea on the ground at one point that I slipped on and fell. She stepped over me. I could already smell the ininside of her butt. She stopped. Doodoo dripped from her buttcheeks onto the ground next to me. She lowered her buttocks. My nose was burning, her butthole opened and revealed a molten lava that exploded into my face.
Comments from PoopHead: ...Holy Sh*t.
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"When Elephants' Azzes Attack"
Author: Zooman	Email: a href="mailto:goodfolk@webtv.net">goodfolk@webtv.net	Date Submitted: 1/10/99	Toilet Rating: 5
I'm a zookeeper. My job is to keep the elephants and the hippos clean and healthy. I've had this job for a few years now, and having this job, I've learned a few important lessons: animals make monumental amounts of poop, and, shoveling dung is fun if you like poop. I have had many occurrings where the animals of my department have unexpectedly shown sexual preference in humans, and shown me that the colon is elastic beyond compare with any other stretchable matter. Once, I was closing up the area until I saw that Annie, the biggest of the female bull elephants was not feeling well. I checked her pulse, her temperature, ect. Her vital signs were not good. I went around to take a look at her caboose, and soon saw the problem. She was constipated, very extremely. The way it was all packed in so tightly was incredible. She must have been in constipation for at least a week or two. Had I not noticed her at the time that I did, Annie would have been found dead in the morning. I fed her bushel after bushel of figs, prunes, berries, and animal laxatives and gave her countless warm oliv e oil enemas. After three hours, it was about 11 o' clock. I was exhausted, but I had a long way to go. I had enough time to be left unseen, but I couldn't tell if I could finish the task at hand in time. When Annie couldn't eat another thing, I realized it was up to me to get her bowels going. I gave her what seemed like hundreds of enemas. At one point, I thought I heard a strange rumbling sound coming from Annie's butthole. I put my ear up to it, listening intensely for minutes. Suddenly, Annie backed up into me, completely enveloping my head into her inner butt. She started farting and pooping, and farting and pooping, on and on and on and on. The poop that came out covered my body in a brownish- orange coocoon of shit. I was able to stay alive by breathing carefully in a small pocket of methane (better than breathing diahrrea) inside the butt. I couldn't get free. The stuff tasted worse and worse. For over an hour I was stuck in her ass. When she finally stopped, I raised my head, and saw straight ahead of me, how much of her tightly packed poop she was rid of. Nowhere near a third of it all was gone! And that was all that I could see! Somewhere deeper there was more!! It began crawling in my direction, and an even more foul stench crossed my nostrils. It sped up and collided with me. The pressure f the poop squeezing against my body was unbearable. The duration of the second wave was longer. Wave after wve wet by that night. I've had other strange zoo poo experiences. That was just one of them. Annie was, as I said last time, making a major sloppy, funky bowel movement keeping my head, and even my shoulders, up her rectum while this was going on. It was actually possible because Annie is a bull elephant, one of the world's largest, wildest elegant creatures to walk this planet. Weighing in at four tons, and standing about one and a half stories tall, she sure could LOAD UP on SOME POOP!!! Well, I'd estimate that for about two hours she blasted hot sloppy joe around my shoulders. I stayed alive by breathing carefully in a pocket of methane inside her butt. I couldn't get out because for the duration of time that I could have backed out, I was in too much shock to move. And when I wanted to move, I just couldn't because of the weight of this overweight elephant's poop squeezing in on me. If you really wanted to know, I'll tell you. While I was up there, I accidentally took in at least half of her fecal wastes through my mouth. A clear photo of the inside of that elephant's butt is always in my mind. It seemed like looking at the inside of a cannon through the eyes of a human cannonball before being blasted out of it, except the walls of the 'cannon' were pink, slimy, an wrinkly, and there was no exit at the end of the 'cannon'. Once the elephant was finally done clearing it's bowels, she walked foward, releasing my head from her butt's grasp. Then she turned around, and licked my head (which was poking up out of this enormous mountain of poop, about one third the size of Annie) affectionately to show her appreciation for relieving her of her tormentous pain. After cleaning my face until it felt pretty clean, the elephant picked me up with its trunk and wiped its ass with my head like a q-tip (therefore, repeating this process a number of times, and using a little twisting action) until her butt was squeaky clean. Then, she brought me over to the mound of shit she had made and slammed me head-first into it. I felt as though she was blaming me for the giant mountain of fecal waste in the center of her cage. I went to the staff locker room and took a long, hot, thorough, long shower, gathered my stuff, and went home. I have an apartment, and I live alone, since I don't make enough money to support a real family. I didn't tell anyone (but you) about what happened that night. The next morning, I woke up realizing that I was going to have to clean up the giant dung pile that was sitting in the middle of Annie's cage. I hurriedly put on my uniform and bolted out of the door. I managed to get half of the dung outof sight before any of the other workers showed up. Even at half its original size, it was still larger than any pile of poop that any of the staff members had ever seen, so it recieved a lot of remarks from the staff members who saw it. I was lucky enough to get rid of the whole pile before the place opened up that day. I took the rest of the day off, and went back to the zoo at about 10:00pm that night. I checked on Annie to see how she was recovering. Before I could do anything, she licked my face, grapped me with her trunk, put me between her legs in front of her pussy. Looking at it, I realized that Annie had just entered heat that day. Her pussy was pink and swollen. She used my upper body to fuck her until The lips of her pussy opened up on their own and her juices flowed. I was actually having sexual intercourse with an elephant! Then, it all hit me at once. This elephant was a coprophiliac and a human lover! As soon as she was done 'playing' with me, I carefully checked on her, cleaned our mess up and went home. I went on acting as though nothing had happened. I ignored Annie's sexual oncomings for the next two weeks, hoping it would all blow over. But one night, as I was locking up the area, I noticed that Annie was looking a little pale and sickly. I took a look at the caboose and stuck my hand back there. A hard, sticky wall was obstructing the butt-passageway. I pounded on it, but it was really solid. Annie hadn't been defecating AT ALL this time! She walked straight back, and my whole arm was swallowed by the wall of condensed poop from my hand to my shoulder. Annie let out a moan. Man was she getting horny. I couldn't pull out. Annie's butt muscles began contracting wildly, and I was slowly being devoured by her butt. My whole upper body was slowly pulled inside her filthy, stinky ass. After staying there for a minute, I shouted 'Let me get the laxatives!' as if she could hear me. And, surely enough, in five seconds, she let me slide out of her butt. As I regained my composure by taking in new, fresh oxygen, Annie licked all of her feces off of me. I couldn't help but stare as she chewed it up and swallowed it. Once again, I fed the congested elephant a lot of bushels of prunes, figs, berries, and super elephant laxatives and gave her hot oil enemas. I timed everything carefully to make sure she didn't mess on my clean uniform. She chased me around the cage for a while hoping to catch me and use me for pleasure. She spilled a little diahrrea on the ground at one point that I slipped on and fell. She stepped over me. I could already smell the ininside of her butt. She stopped. Doodoo dripped from her buttcheeks onto the ground next to me. She lowered her buttocks. My nose was burning, her butthole opened and revealed a molten lava that exploded into my face.
Comments from PoopHead: ...Holy Sh*t.