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Raves
| This section contains all the sorts of stuff that occasionaly pops
out of everyones mind. My mind tends to generate far more of that
sort of odd junk than most. Anyway it's all here. This section
is a bit like my Rants section except more drawn
out and probably makes far less sense.
The Conversational Diet
You're surely seen all the various types of diets out there.
They are not exactly few and far between. In fact there are probably
just as many types of diets as there are types of cars. You have
your economical, slow and steady wins the race, work your fat ass off diets.
There are the long luxurious diets in which you get to drink lots of "milk"shakes.
There are the fast, get thin quick, anorexia diets. And there are
the "sea-food" diets (I see food, I eat it.) If you're reading this
looking for a new alternative to the giant tub of lard you're carrying
around your middle you've come to the right place. I offer for your
use, The Conversational Diet©! The Conversational Diet©
is easy to learn! In just a few easy steps you can be rid of your
ugly spare tires for ever! Works for men, women and llamas!
Just follow these simple directions:
Find a nice, quiet, comfortable place to sit
Sit there
Have a long, meaningful conversation with your fat
Yes it's true! Wondering how it works? Laboratory studies
have shown that excessive amounts of negative stimuli will cause your fat
to become bored. Apon reaching the boredom point your fat begins
to become unstable. Unstable fat shown many of the properties of
anit-matter, anti-fat if you will. When you bore the fat in your
system it begins to turn into anti-fat. When this happens the anti-fat
reacts with the fat in your system and the two polarities cacel each other
out. This process produces a vacuum. The vacuum suck the skin
flush with your inner organs leaving you with a nice tight looking body.
As should be clear from my description the hardest part of this diet is
actualy boring your fat. This can be done by changing the conversation
to enhance the bordom effect. The process also takes time.
Lot's of time. In fact it is recommended that you talk to your fat
for months or more. And it is very important that once you begin
a conversation your fat may cease to become bored if you interrupt the
conversation. So just remember the following tips:
Be as boring as possible
Talk for LONG periods of time
and No interuptions for food or drink
We hope you enjoy our program!
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