To Live in Pain



Pain consumes me, pain surrounds me
The pain that is life defines my existence
Fear tears through me, stabs through me
Gnawing my soul, leeching my hope
A better prison than any steel cage.
The fear chills, the pain scours
The rage builds
Death is the easiest release
But I am too cowardly
Or brave or foolish or wise
To take the coward's way out.
In this grand world, this crowded marble,
I am utterly alone.
I hold the key but I dare not use it
The rage would strike outward
As surely as it strikes inward
Rage fueled by pain and encased in fear
So I choose to live in pain
Pain that I would unleash on others
If I allowed them to understand me.

© Edwin Holmes-Lauder Dec 23, 2002 1