Popular Folk Songs: Old Billy Blaggis

Popular Folk Songs
Old Billy Blaggis.

by Falkryst de Flamberge.

Alright, now this fellow's getting back to the basics. This ain't no nursery rhyme, so mothers take your children away! You have been warned. Like my father used to say; "If you can't mind the pen, perhaps you shouldn't be raising chickens." And if the subtle warnings ain't good enough for you - The following song contains suggestive lyrics which may offend some listeners. If that may be you, then bugger the Hel off!

And as far as who this Falkryst de Flamberge is, I'm getting a much better idea. All's I'm saying is this, the kid's got guts. Or a lack of brains. If you're out there and listening to me, little man, word to the wise: Watch my toes.

Well, I be tellin’ ye a fable,
Trust that it’s true.
A saga that best hope,
Never happens to you.
‘Bout Old Billy Blaggis,
A tale of his fate,
For ye I can prevent,
But for him it’s too late.
Billy was huge, tough and strong,
His arms were enormous.
And so was his...
From port to port,
Traveling ‘round,
Lookin’ fer lasses,
All plump and round.
One night at an inn,
A Sheilla caught his eye,
Big as a galley,
A perfect size.
Billy soon felt,
A bulge in his breeches,
The young lass,
She could take no more,
Grabbed the bulge,
And headed for the door.
By now ‘twas double,
The vision of Billy’s eyes,
With his drunken senses,
Thought to himself,
One plus one is two,
And let out a belch.
He ripped off his shirt,
She lifted her skirt,
She pulled out the snake,
They started to play,
Now baby Blaggis is on the way.

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