Popular Folk Songs: March of the Crusaders

Popular Folk Songs
March of the Crusaders.

Not really sure who Falkryst is, or why he, or she, wrote this song, but it's real popular in the border towns between Orion and Forestaine. The writer's probably someone who the Jerky Green Knights managed to piss off. I'm curious to find out the tale behind this one, and when I find out myself, you'll be the first t'know!

Oh, and for you stuffy-headed, stiff-necked, square-jawed types out there - I neither support nor denounce the slander in this song, but if you don't like what it says, then go the Hel away! No-one's holding a crossbow to your head.

Clink-clank, clippity-clop,
Look at me, I’m a fop!
We’re defenders of the King,
and full of vim and piss.
We’re offenders of all things,
and we can never miss.
We shall fight, fight, fight!
With our might, might, might!
And we’re always right!
Though we are quite
Ugly! You see!
Clink-clank, clackity-click,
Look at me, I’m a prick!
We’re dressed in splendid green,
and pretty bows of white,
We like to be unclean,
but we keep our arses tight.
And we war, war, war!
And we whore, whore, whore!
But we often bore!
And none’s the more
Ugly! Than we!
Clink-clank, clickity-cluck,
Look at me, I’m a duck!
We’re best of better of good,
And Odin’s gift to all,
We like our rocks ’n’ wood,
Even if they're small.
And we kill, kill, kill!
And we swill, swill, swill!
And we like the thrill!
But we are still
Ugly! You see!

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