Redstring's Repertoire
Dann the Man.

After I left Byr and went back to Rayal City, I met up with some old friends. Tellis gave me some work on The Seahorse, which was now his ship. I met alot of new people, as usual, and one of them was this prim and proper elf named Dann. He was one of the tickets on board The Seahorse, going to Alteraks Isle. He walked around like royalty, lemme tell you. Pretty clothes, expensive trinkets and ten-copper words. But when we shoved off, it seemed like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Since I've seen enough of it myself, I knew he was running from something, or someone. So, I asked him.

Heh. He was not very amused. Told me to stick to hoisting sails and mind my own business. Well, with that attitude, I had to take a little of prim out of his proper. So, I did a little asking around, found some things out, and wrote this little song for the prissy elf man. Turns out, he wasn't so proper after all. He could talk the talk, but he didn't walk the walk. But he'd done a lot of running in his time.

Now listen up and I'll tell you the story! And when I say, "I'll bed ev'ry woman I can," you have to take a swig of whatever it is your drinking, or the next song I write'll be about you, my friend!

There once was an elf named Dann,
Who thought himself quite "The Man".
I asked, "What you doin'?"
He said, "I'm a-wooin',"
"And I'll bed ev'ry woman I can!"

Now Dann travel'd far and wide,
And liked all the women he eyed.
He promised to wed
Every woman he bed
Come mornin' he said, "I lied!"

So on went the elf named Dann,
Still thought himself quite "The Man".
I asked, "Where you goin'?"
He said, "I'm not knowin',"
"But I'll bed ev'ry woman I can!"

And Dann wandered hither and yon.
Met a lady with legs quite long.
He got her inside,
And then she went wild;
When she bit him, he said: "I'm gone!"

So on went the elf named Dann,
Who thought himself quite "The Man".
I asked, "What of lovin'?"
He said, "I'm above it,"
"And I'll bed ev'ry woman I can!"

Then Dann came into your town.
Your pretty young maidens he found.
Took best of the lot,
Your lady he got;
And, fella, your maid he deflowered!

So out went the elf named Dann,
Still thought himself quite "The Man".
I asked, "Don't you tire?"
He said, "I'm on fire!"
"And I'll bed ev'ry woman I can!"

Once Dann took a voyage asea,
The trip made him very sickly.
So grabbed he a girl,
Her sails he unfurled,
And found out that she was a he!

So off went the elf named Dann,
Who hoped he was still "The Man".
I asked, "Take a break?"
He said, "I'm too great!"
"And I'll bed ev'ry woman I can!"

So Dann got himself right drunk,
Found a lass with plenty of spunk.
He took her to bed,
When she slapp'd him, he said;
You've a little more spunk than I'd thunk!

So away went the elf named Dann,
Still thought himself quite "The Man".
I asked, "Are you slowin'?"
He said, "No, still goin',"
"And I'll bed ev'ry woman I can!"

One day he met a lady so nice,
'Twas the very best lay of his life!
And in the next morn'
A man came in the door
And said, "Hey! You just bugger'd my wife!"

So out of the window went Dann,
Afeared of the big angry man.
I asked, "What's transpir'd?"
He said, "I'm retired!"
"And I'm out on the first ship I can!"

There once was an elf named Dann,
Who thought himself quite "The Man".
I asked, "What you doin'?"
He said, "I'm a-wooin',"
"And I'll bed ev'ry woman I can!"

October 28, 2000. Copyright Angelo Barovier, Michael M., and Robert V., 1997-2000.