A Day in the Life: Melbourne

     Wake up in the morning to the sound of the tram pulling into the nearby stop outside.  Loud horn alerts pedestrians and auto traffic to get off the tracks.  Get out of bed, get in the shower with half a shower door.  Try really hard not to get water on the bathroom floor.  Leave the house with set of keys, wallet, tram ticket, and mobile (cell phone).  Walk out onto Lygon and down half a block crossing the street to the center where the tram picks you up.  Make sure to look to the right and not the left before crossing.  Board tram, insert "met card" into the validating machine, wait for its return.  Take ticket and find empty seat, seat next to clean looking person, or just stand.  First stop, Lygon shopping district.  Exit tram at Lygon and Elgin.  Walk down Lygon to Cafe Notturno.  Order breakfast special and people watch.  Walk back up Lygon to the tram stop, windowshopping as you go.  Board tram and repeat process with met card.  Watch scenery for five or ten minutes until exiting at Swanston and LaTrobe st.  Walk along Swanston to Bourke doing some really good windowshopping on the way.  Listen to street performers playing guitar or other instrument for spare change. Listen to old man or woman on loud speaker trying to convince passersby to enter their retail luggage establishment.  Snicker under breath.  Walk down Bourke to the Bourke Mall, no cars to watch for but try not to get in the way of tram traffic.  Walk into Myers the largest department store in the universe.  Notice how it makes Macy's look like a 7-11.  Walk through the lower level sporting goods department.  Keep walking through the lower level sporting goods department.  Keep on walking...  Finally reach the end.  Walk back.  Notice the endless displays of footy, rugby, soccer, cricket, basketball, tennis equipment.   Ask the salesman, "Excuse me sir, where do you keep your baseball equipment?"  Hear the reply,"What's baseball?"  Ouch!  Immediately leave Myers.  Walk back to Swanston and down Swanston to Collins.  Walk down Collins several blocks through business district.  Reach 525 Collins, Rialto Towers, one of the world's larger buildings.  Try to look up to the sixtieth floor without breaking your neck.  Approach elevator to observation deck.  Turn around and walk away because you're not about to spend seven dollars for an elevator ride, especailly on a foggy low visibility day.  Cross Collins to EAP director, John Beaton's office.  Go up and say hello.  Get the skinny on good places to eat, shop, and shmooze.  Leave him so he can attend to his busy schedule and walk back out onto Collins st. and up to Swanston st.  Walk to Flinders St. and the end of "the city:", or downtown.  Marvel at the beautiful architecure and enormous size of Flinders St. train station.  Continue down Swanston until it becomes St. Kilda Rd. and continue on to the Royal Botannical Gardens.  Sit under a large oak tree and read a book if one is available.  Ponder the beauty of life and nature.  Walk towards Flinders St. and cross over the Yarra River to the south bank and the Crown center.  Watch the beautiful water show in the Crown Hotel.  Watch the beautiful fire show on the boardwalk.  Window shop (and nothing more) in the pricey boutiques. Enter the world famous Crown casino.  Try as hard as possible not to go to the ATM for gambling purposes.  Succeed. Whew!!! That was a close one.  Attempt to enter one of the five happening clubs.  Fail due to the fact that you are wearing flip flops.  Call it a night and return home.  Study, or something.  Go to bed.