Dog's Humor
"Dog's the Men bestfriend"
How dogs are better than women
- Dogs don't cry.
- Dogs love it when your friends come over.
- Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
- Dogs think you sing great.
- A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
- Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
- The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
- Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
- Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
- Dogs are excited by rough play.
- Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
- Dogs understand that farts are funny.
- Dogs love red meat.
- Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
- Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
- If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
- Dogs don't shop.
- Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
- A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
- Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
- A dog's parents never visit.
- Dogs love long car trips.
- Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
- Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made
to be hunted.
- When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly,
you can shoot it.
- Dogs like beer.
- Dogs don't hate their bodies.
- No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
- Dogs never criticize.
- Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point
across.
- Dogs never expect gifts.
- It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
- Dogs don't worry about germs.
- Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
- Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your
wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
- Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
- Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than
a lobster one.
- You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours
a day.
- Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
- Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
- Dogs never want foot-rubs.
- Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
- Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
- Dogs can't talk.
- Dogs seldom outlive you.
How Dogs Are Better Than Men?
- Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
- Dogs miss you when you're gone.
- You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.
- Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
- Dogs don't criticise your friends.
- Dogs admit when they're jealous.
- Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
- Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch (and they
never laugh at how you throw).
- Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because
they know the most important thing is that you're together.
- Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
- No dog ever voted to confirm Clarence Thomas.
- You can house train a dog.
- Dogs are easy to buy for.
- Dogs are good with kids.
- Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.
- You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
- Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.
- The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (Okay,
the *really* worst disease you can get is rabies, but there is
a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to
you.)
- Dogs understand what "no" means.
- Dogs don't need therapy to undo their bad socialisation.
- Dogs don't make a practice of killing their own species.
- Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
- Dogs do not read at the table.
- Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
- You can force a dog to take a bath.
- Dogs don't correct your stories.
- Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a
younger owner.
- Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair.
- Dogs aren't threatened by two women with short hair.
- Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.
- Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.
- Dogs admit it when they're lost.
- Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.
- Dogs look at your eyes.
- Dogs like your size.
- Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.
- Dogs take care of their own needs.
- Dogs are color blind.
- Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
- Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
- Dogs are nice to your relatives.
- Dogs obsess about you as much as you obsess about them.
Esta página foi produzida por José Justino, jjustino@hotmail.com
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