Potential vs. Reality

A boy comes from school with a writing assignment.
He asks his father for help.
"Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"

His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll display it to you."
Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for one million dollars. Then go
ask your sister if she would sleep with Tom Cruise for one million dollars .
Then come back and tell me what you've learned.

The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means.
He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you one million dollars to sleep with Robert Redford, would you ?"
His mother looks around slyly,and then with a little grin on her face she says,
"Don't tell your father but yes, I would."

Then he goes and ask his sister, he says "Sis,
if someone gave you one million dollars to sleep with Tom Cruise would you?"
His sister looks up and says . . .
" Oh my god, yes I would definately !! "

The boy goes back to his father and says, Dad, I think I've figured it out.
Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are
living with a couple of tramps . . . "



To My Dear Husband , I think you are confused. Here are
the real reasons you didn't get it as often as you wanted it.

~ Came home drunk and tried to get the cat instead . . 15 times
~ Did not come home at all . . . 36 times
~ Did not come at all . . . 21 times
~ You came too soon . . . 33 times
~ Went soft before you got in . . . 38 times
~ Worked overtime at the office . . . 10 times
~ You had to get up early to play golf . . . 29 times
~ Had a fight, someone kicked you in the balls . . . 2 times
~ Caught herman in your zipper . . . 3 times
~ Burned your tongue on hot coffee . . . 7 times
~ You had a splinter in your finger . . . 5 times
~ Came in your pj's while reading a dirty book . . . 16 times
~ Watching sports on TV . . . 98 times
~ Your hemorrhoids flared up . . . 10 times

Of the times we did get together, the reason I laid still was because you were
f ****** the sheets. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling .
What I said was, would you prefer me on my back or kneeling.
The one time you felt me move was beacuse you farted and I was trying to breathe !!



Things that sound dirty at the office but they really aren't

~ I need you to whip it out by 5:00 p.m.
~ Mind if I use your laptop?
~ Put this in my box before you leave
~ I want it on my desk now !!!
~ Hmm, I think I'm out of fluid
~ It's an entry level position
~ When do you think you'll be getting off today?
~ It's not fair. I do all the work, and he just sits back


keep on laughing

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