RANDOM POETRY NUGGETS
By Steven G. Alexander

Along Time

I didn’t ever want to fade away

When I was young, I never thought I’d see the day

Those golden nights of innocence

seem way to far in the past

And I guess I was just holding on

to something that wouldn’t last

I was just a boy with no worries on my mind

We were just some kids in a garage wasting time

Didn’t have any cares or responsibilities

but all I see now is the life I have

in the man that now is me.

I’m left out in the open

with only my memories

of who we were when yesterday came by

When I see you on the street again

All I want to hear is “hello”

before we part again, let’s think about the past

One last time before you go.

Who were we when the world was all so new?

I was lost but didn’t know it, maybe so were you?

We listened to the radio or sat and tried to smoke

and drove around in beat up cars

while we listened and cracked a joke.

Sunsets that have come and gone on a windswept night

Tears and laughter that we shed through stupid childish fights

I’ll never forget the boys we were, or ever let go

but I guess we’ve gone and grown up

and it’s time to let it show.

I’ll wander the world. I think, a restless soul for life

Maybe I’ll find peace someday, or maybe even a wife

I don’t think my heart will ever let me settle or trade

my passion for grace.

But I’ll never try and tell you

that you’re never in a good place.

Cause in my heart, you’ll always be

You’re a page in my memory

Cherished as a golden locket

Plugged into a life long socket

Forever we’ll just be boys playing songs

Till forever moves us all away and along

This Boys A Wreck

This boy’s a wreck an he’s headed for disaster

he’s all alone and confused at what he’s after

Can he explain or even try to understand

He doesn’t even know the powers in his hand

Change is often mislabled and love never used

Confusion added to the mix and emotions mis-consrtued

I am a mess

I am diseased

I am ugly

Can you appease?

I can’t stand

To feel this way

I hope I’m right

To seize the day

This boy’s a wreck, can you see he’s all alone?

He cannot convey the feeling of carrying that stone

upon his back, like Atlas did when he carried the world

Often given up more pain that love he hasn’t hurled

More than his fair share of honest and good advice

Only to have his heart stopmed out by a useless vice

I am a mess (Can’t you see?)

I am diseased (Oh, Help Me)

I am so ugly (Can’t you see?)

Can you recede (Your heartless chill)

I can’t stand

to feel the pain

I hope I’m right

When you complain

Words

Words, words I use to many

and they seem to come alive

to haunt me with their presence

with insight to what I strive

For I seem to be staring

at a great chasm of open thought

And in deciding what I want

I concede to what I know I bought

I think too much, I suppose

It’s never just a matter of what I chose.

Rather, it’s a simple twist of choice

a stricter set of rules with a voice

An empty platter on which I serve

Empty promises I know I deserve

Talk, talk, I seem to do so much

and yet I make no sense at all.

I can tell you more of useless facts

all while smiling and standing tall

For I know a great many things

of things in not great many

For all my thoughts and rants

don’t even seem to be worth a penny.

Insight

I fell off of my horse

while riding high one day

in a space where I had thought

nothing got in my way

The people all stood and stared and

I floundered about without grace

and quickened up my pace

and shook off all who cared.

Now, sitting alone

on a throne

made of the dreams I crushed

and love that I shattered

I can only look back to see what once mattered.

People were always there

but few will understand

The ones that do will come by

and always offer you a hand

but as morals come and life dictates

and the pompous stand and pontificate

You realize you always want what you have not got

Only wishing to change something that is not sot

or tread upon, it seems like it would be perinant

but only the empty stares of the person that

Had betrayed what you thought was your most valid emotion

without question, something to which you’d strive for devotion

Kicked back in your face like refuse

and tossed upon the wind like a carrol

Given away like a 10 cent journal

and spat upon like an animal.

Oh, how I wish the world were different –

and so would I be, more perfect that even I could see

To never drift or make mistakes

to always know the beat of the pace.

But to err is human and to live divine

but take what’s yours; I already took mine.

Before Sunrise

Before sunrise, and I’m still awake

trying to remember the feelings I forgot to take

on a golden highway, lines divided

Silver skies and futures undecided

Memories of a morning somewhere in the past

Sitting on a hilltop, lying in the grass

dewdrops on the trees as far as I can see

dreams drifiting on the wind astride me.

Her voice flowing soft inside of me

like a sudden long lost melody

with birds chiming in perfect harmony

I make a turn and to my surprise I see

A railroad in the distance, calling to me

A boxcar painted red

with a bum named Fred

Giving me wisdom in the morning before

I lay myself down to bed.

In The Chair

I sit so nervous,

waiting for the sting

while she smiles and

the machine starts to ring

My arm aches from

all the wounds before

Off in the distance,

I see the night beyond the door.

The needle slices through skin

and the vessel holds true;

I get connected and we start

now the needles number two

Four more hours; I watch the clock

The room is busy, but I'm not

moving, I'm stuck in my chair

and this is my life now

I'm used to that fact.

A normal life I can only

wish to have back.

But what makes me different

Is just a sense of hope renewed

From a cynic who lost his faith

Who dreams of better times and

That through all of this

I can see a way

and count my blessings each day.

UNTITLED

Alone in the cold, the young man wandered the tundra

bare and bereft of the shelter he craved

on and on he walked

He saw many faces out on the ridge

but empty were the stares that came back

So he settled on life as a form of attack

and clung to ideals, for those kept him alive

when in a time of crisis, we wished to hide

But life was still moving at a quickened pace

Moving along at the speed of the rat race

That shuffled by in a procession of banality

Colorless and devoid of merit and tonality.

He saw nothing that struck his eyes with joy

For he was lost as a man inside of a boy

Wandering helplessly with no answers in sight

cold and scared but trodding on

he walked and walked

Seeing empty places and alcoves of pain

ripped through his soul and dancing fire

licked at his soul as he could perspire

He implored the heavens for a salient peace

But with no answers, he felt out of reach

Till one day he say a light made of hope

and he knew that he had not ended his rope

The light, however, at first appeared dark

it’s final purpose obscured, not to leave a mark

So, grasping to faith and deciding to move on

Life came back to him and it’s mantle he did don.

UNTITLED AGAIN

Under the starlight

faces familiar

But looking at you

strikes my heart

Holding your hands back

Kissing the air now

you smile but it’s come apart

Wishing and hoping

trying to see now

Only black hits my mind slow

Gather my thoughts and

try to make sense of

all the things you say you don’t profess

I told you once it was simple

but you don’t want to take it as it is.

NLP2002

6/10/03

Sun comes up over the river,

Light dances on the surface of the water,

As the morning grasps the day.

The hustle and bustle of

All the people – morning commute

to beget upon their harried way.

But the world still sleeps

as the people go moving.

And the sky will weep

when it sees what they’re doing.

Concern is lost in the minds of the youth

Who sway in motions lacking in grace of old

Whose speech seems lacking in any couth

Just keep looking for the soul you’ve sold.

And what is desired and sought

are only what they’ve told us we bought.

What was once a story is now the truth

because they’ve sold it all on the youth.

Grind, and pump and pulse away.

Make your excuses but you know it’s shallow.

Take what you want, this is surely not mine,

and say whatever makes you not feel hallow.

Girls Vs. Women

I listen to your voices

high upon your morals

and stuffed within your ego

complaining about a choice you

made in a man who left you

broken and withered; a damaged soul

you became and life is somber for

your tattered remains are all you’ve left

sunk into the paper with an acid quill

you’ve forced emotion onto a scene

that had none to begin with

you lusted for the tragedy

you craved the drama

you sold yourself for what you wanted

which was just a ride

either from his body

or through your mind

so write your drivel

but really, it’s a waste of time.

You’d trade it all in a second

just to feel him grab your back

and rip through your loins

and tear through you soul

in the moment

when he loses it all

not only his load but

the burden of his mind

So, as he goes to play Playstation

and you grab your journal

to write your latest epic

who is the sad pathetic one here

who pretend that they have been wronged.

You wanted it; unwilling to live with the consequences

you say it was love

but you

just

got

fucked.

I Missed Again

Open up your heart and mind

and listen to me plead

Of all the things I could have said

and all the places I dare not tread

they all came out to you

And I wonder what to do

Cos my mind is wandering

through all the times

I missed when I thought

about your kiss

Oh, I'm rambling again

I've gone to far

and then you tell me

Just be quiet

It's all right

and we fade off

into the night.

Different Execution

Blaring loudly, I crank the stereo and fade back into the darkness. I smile. It feels good to

ebb away my problems in the myriad of sound that fills the chambers of my car. I roll on. The night rolls up in the asphalt that comes to meet my tires. I press on. A fugue in G Minor hit my eardum and I listen to the triplets spill out of their cavern and hit the floor. Then, the pulse of the drum makes me realize that it is rock and roll, and not a baroque piece. The progression is the same, yet the time has changed. Now we roll upon the roads with vehichles powered by dead animals, when we once rolled slowly with real Horse Power. Just as once music was played in concert halls with grand audiences on carved, hand-crafted instruments, it is now played on processed gear. Same theory; different execution.

Buying Cool

Oh down in the valley, where the children play

the mall sprang up without delay

and opened their eyes to the world

of greed, and now with age and new addictions to feed.

The poster shows them how they should look

and screaming in defense, they still shout "I'm Different"

but these days you can still by "alternative" at the store -

it's in the $9.99 bin at WalMart,

or you can pay $99.99 at the GAP

To really be special and different is a state of mind

and there's no pride, nor reason to assume so.

independance and comprability

cannot be bought; nor boasted of.

No Ideal

I know I'm not a dream

I don't match your hopes

I know I'm not handsome

and I know I'm lazy

I know that I stumble

and that I fall sometimes.

I know that I'm not perfect

or someone you could show off.

I won't make your girlfriends jealous

and I won't make them talk.

I won't mess around and cheat on you

I know that my intentions are true.

I know that I'm sweet and caring

as much as I'm bitter and to the point.

I know I may not look like much

but I know theres something worthwhile inside

and I'll bring it out, to the outside

someday, down the line.

Ambling Sleep

Where do I go? How Do I feel?

I have to ask myself these questions everyday

as one must often do.

As I amble on through the alley on my way

I know I must by true

True to thoughts that come and go

visions deep and context slow

But doubt begins to fade

when in my thoughts you wade

but then I go to sleep.

Sideways One

Say it's a tale of days long ago

Lined with magic and heroes like so

Eager to rescue a princess of gold

Enchanting beauty of tenderness old

Partake in a fable, please if you're able

Music and melody to comfort my time

Your reason of wit and fair plated rhyme

All together the lovers will run

Never to be found, unless they are done.

Gone away to a land far away, o'er the hills

Enlighted to touch to illicit their thrills

Legends and heroes and magical signs

Insanity’s Love Grip

I know all to well, for it's a simple story

I've been here before and fallen too far

Into what, I don't really know

but why do I fade as it seems to grow?

Because it never works out the way you plan

or you'll find out just where you stand

and it's not where you wish to be

but maybe there's more than you can see

But to have a wish, and dash it all away

when it takes me years to see another day

Because I get blinded by a simple smile

and such a thing makes me dream a while.

Then I lose touch with all reality

And I forget I am what I'll never see

Unworthy of such simple gestures

A character of man, a courtly jester.

So I bide my time in this lonely place

and I can't help the smile on my face

I fear this feeling above all else

but for now, I'll place it on a shelf.

Creation Of Eve?

Have I created you in my mind, or do you really exist as I'm seeing you?

Did I give you credence you didn't deserve, or are you that wonderful to observe?

Do I believe my eyes or follow my heart, or in my thoughts do you play the part

That somehow I managed to write or am I making excuses out of fright?

What I feel, I do not know - I have a notion to fabricate as I go

Through and through, within and without, my feelings always cast doubt.

I never know just what is real, and I can't ever tell what I feel.

I need reassurance, or a backup glance to know if I should even take a chance

Wherefore is my Life?

When my heart is finally free, I'll be dead.

When my mind stops wandering is what I dread.

When the beauty of the world slows to a crawl

When the voices of my loved ones fade at all

When the sky falls and the thunder rolls

When the emotions fade from all the souls

I'll be free, free from all the pain

only to be born, to live it all again.

If It Falls Apart

I want to give it all away

and sail right into your heart

I'll hold on just another day

and sleep if it falls apart

I want to be there in your arms

reeling from just your touch

For I'm helpless against all your charms

when I won't even ask for too much

Away from the night, and close to dawn

It still makes me smile, even as you yawn

To be there again, just to be so free

Someday, together, I hope, just you and me

The Last Rites of Edwin Fugelsang

Don't you know god is pooh bear? – Jack Kerouac

As time goes by, I look to the sky

only to ask the heavens for a reason why?

An answer to all the knotted pains in my soul

A reason for all the anguish that make me old

I can't explain what the sensation is

I only know what it isn't, or never is

It creeps like a shadow, across my mind

and the reasons of deception are hard to find

but it binds me to a place in life that I do not enjoy

and it holds me to a position of a long lost boy

I am too scared to face it, and go into the night

but someday will come when I choose to fight?

Hey now, don't be that way,

I've come to see you now

and be as people are when then

get together and see how different they are

Do you know how to tell a real friend from a false one?

Is it by the taste in the air, or the salt on their tongue?

I live in a world of self confusion,

but it's better than having delusion

I see things in a different way than you

but I still appreciate the things you do

When I am so entangled with my word

or when I thought it was something I heard

I just have to think a little clearer

and hold my feelings dearer

for when they fade away

I won't be there that day

Because I'll be flying, somewhere off a little farther,

and I wish I see you there.

and I hope it's not weird when I stare

and in that shifting, parting glance

maybe I'll speak and take a chance

or maybe I'll only of the moment dream

or smile at the very thought of it.

The Sweetest Kisses of Death

Kill me with a thousand kisses,

fill me with a thousand wishes......

Oh, how I wish I could share the beauty of life, but it's always there to see

and sometimes it even dances and swirls through a man like me.

To see life, love and all it's prizes

to live in a world where the sun still rises

where the rivers flow and seagulls dance

where animals tread and I took a chance

So I stand on humanity, carrying my guilt,

and I stare in pride at all we built

What is important; what is real?

Is it what we see or what we can feel?

The books, the music, the language and love

The meaning is found, like the sky to a dove

to make love with my eyes open wide

and never fall back on empty pride

Oh, please I beg of all you take

more of the love you confess to make

DUI and DOA

Getting wasted and having fun,

Doesn't seem like your done

When you wake up in the morning

and you wish you were still snoring

But your head is aching

and your neck is breaking

Could it simply be

That you had only three

Drinks last night to soothe your nerves?

Or was it like 40, slurring your words?

See it's ok if you only woke up alone

and it's better if you woke up at home

But if you woke up next to an heinous dude

and in waking up, trying not to be rude

Couldn't help yourself, and began to retch

because last night's liquor couldn't catch

That sensible part of your brain so lithe

oh, why oh why did I not drive?

A Short Memento For My Sweetheart – unsent, but not forgotten.

Close the door, turn the page, hope to see you again someday

Until that moment, my faith is true

and in my heart, I'll know what to do.

Gossamer Green Eyes

Amalgamated concepts take you down low

directed by unseen hands, ambition begins grow

Anticipation in those dark green eyes

And the gossip that you spilt, all lies

Participants and viewpoints come and go

when the truth comes to offer you a show

I'll dance and dazzle, and stun you with wit

You'll listen and cry, and hope I'm full of shit.

But later, as the sun fades; awake the night

With the charms I put, your senses will fight

Blindly you grope for something that matters

But you know it's your will that's been shattered.

So dream a little dream to keep your hope alive

and I'll be there, waiting deep inside.

In Defense of Bitterness

Hollowed ground below my feet

open your heart and feel the heat

pulling the cloth tight over your eyes

ever changing it's luminous disguise

youth is wasted

on wasteful youths

underneath it all, never uncovered the truths

fake little tangents and crystaline promises

early to be broken and ripped interogiatives

easily misled and easily followed

likened or not to a mice being swallowed

but, I digress back to the point at hand

even the angriest of men sleep in the sand

to try to dream of an elysian world of peace

telling the former loved ones in a haze of sleep

entirly too much fun was had

really, I hope you don't feel to bad.

SIDEWAYS COLLECTIONS

HeartWinds

Gently the winds will blow

open the sky to falling snow

only let your heart decide

dearly held to the fate you tried

nothing seems to hold so true

indigo violet and skies of blue

golden rays cast down of the sun

holding the lovers

to wish that I was one

Sweetly the songs spoke in my ear

when in good time abated my fear

Every touch bringing senses anew

every day to sleep

till the hope in my grew

Once I had a dream so fair and pure

now I dream of nothing so demure

everyday an adventure with my heart secure

EverNeverLand

Early in the evening and straight on till morn

right until the evening when you try to blow your horn

in and out of another drink and up the the bar again

nothing seems to matter when you don't know where you've been

Is is a simple answer or just a random little rhyme?

something in your voice tells me just one more time

Aspirations and Desperations of a madman on the loose

Distance is covered between the spaces in your speech

reaching for the goal is closer than one could reach.

unnerved and unfettered, he strives to claim the right

Nervous and alone, they concede without a fight.

killing the beast that resided within his heart

enabling the feelings that had forgotten to start

now is the time for repentance and a time for the madness

Finish your meal and take one last sip

only let the last of your nectar drip

off your cup and into my hand

later to be swallowed by this hollowed land.......

Goodnight, Ladies, We’re Going To Leave You Now….

Goodnight, sweet one, with drifted angels set

Golden glittered hopes on your mind, I bet.

Upon a plain of stars where tail lights fade

Into the sweetness of dream that once was made

A Smile to be reconciled is all that you are

and when I hear laughter, I know you're never far.

The King is Over

Dancing and floating above the hills

another light singing and darkness kills

never to be seen is the light

alone into the cold, black night

into a forest of leaves so green

see into a soul, to see what I mean

Softly you whisper into my other ear

weeping to let it stay another year

easily bought and hard to forget

entirely too much breeds contempt

to fly away on the wings of the new morning dove.

Forsooth Forsake Me.

For only can one discern

underneath a seemless concern

could you possibly believe in why

knowing that all you drank was rye

ending a simple debate that one raged

deciding when to let your heart be caged

Young and meek

old and weak

unless you wake

realizing you'll take

giant hills of fire so grand

into valleys of a distant land

realizing that my eyes are shut

leaving the place with all my luck

furthermore a test is needed

run from the feelings that jaded

inside a measure of good

early on to a theives hood?

n'er to be spoken again

did you speak, a refrain?

Gone are the Days

Gone are the days of capricious youth

only inside of memories do the young ones live

outside the poor man begs for more than truth

dealt a better hand of fate, I had more to give

Merry you all, the one's who are dreamers

onto a myriad of kisses parting the dealers

raise your glass, and toast the sky

not only to hope in attempts to fly

I was fortunate to have been given you

now it seems my time to seek is though

gone, but not forgotten, the older wounds begotten.

So I sing these tails, with a hint of praise

underneath my tone, with no hint of malaise

never to touch, see or breathe such sweet sorrow

sometimes I can only wait to see tomorrow

here in my thoughts, your passion it lingers

indeed to read a fortune from sky-kissed fingers

not to be confused, it is a ray of pure light

early in the morning, they are all yours till night.