Moanmaster:         Obi Juan, Tell me about Fat Jeff .

Obi Juan Cumobi:  Fat Jeff, was once a powerful Orgasmonaut. He was the best funk bassist in the Galaxy.

Moanmaster:         How did Fat Jeff die?

Obi Juan Cumobi:  A pupil of the Cosmic Lust named GangstaJeff betrayed and murdered Fat Jeff.
 
                                                        -excerpt from the Big Chops film Rockstar Waars-
 
 
 
 

Fat Jeff was the first Orgasmongaut to ever betray the funk. With the fatal words, "At least I’m getting some", Fat Jeff handed in his Orgasmonaut-issue BVDs and crossed into the realm of gangstardom. Once a great Orgasmonaut he is all but forgotten. A survey of today’s youth found that most consider him but a legend. If he is indeed all but a legend it would probably go a little something like this.

(Editor’s note: KICK IT!)

Fat Jeff was cooked up in the cosmic kitchen of the Cosmic Lust. He consisted of two parts beauty, five dashes of love and a massive dose of hot-crossed funk. He was an orgasmonaut even before the word orgasmonaut had been discovered. He played bass in the Paisley Waters at the peak of the band and was known for his erotic jolliness. He was an original founder of the Big Chops movie industry and starred in such films as The Incredible Shrinking Nads, Seduction of the Fittest and Viva La Seduccion.

All appeared well but appearances are deceiving, for Fat Jeff was nursing an inner-pain that could not be satisfied by the purity and discipline of the Orgasmonaut order. Fat Jeff began to turn to evil ways. He began to experiment with polo shirts, movie theater pimping and anal sex(not officially confirmed). In a while he had made a complete transition, he was a gangstar and became isolated from the funk.

Nowadays Fat Jeff is still sighted and is occasionally known to exhibit actions reminiscint of his old glory but he is out of the influence of the Orgasmonauts an only the Cosmic Lust knows if he can ever be turned back to the light.

Moanmaster:         Obi Juan why didn’t you tell me?

Obi Juan Cumobi:  I told you the truth, from a point of view?

Moanmaster:         From a point of view?

Obi Juan Cumobi:  When Fat Jeff became gangsta, the good man who was Fat Jeff died.

Moanmaster:          I don’t understand he was once so good.

Obi Juan Cumobi:  There are a lot of things you won’t understand Moanmaster but a man’s convictions
                            are only as strong as his pride and sometimes a man will be crushed by his own
                            temptation.

Moanmaster:         But there is still good in him I can feel it.

Obi Juan Cumobi:  He is more Tommy Hilfiger wardrobe now than man.

Moanmaster:         But he can be saved, there’s still…..

Obi Juan Cumobi:  No he’s gone.