A Big Chops Productions Filmography

 

Big Chops is the movie-making branch of the Orgasmonaut Band. It has included the participation of many non-band members especially those who were of the Old Orgasmonauts and who have now gone on to other activities in the neverending quest of man to be more shittier.

 

 

The Incredible Shrinking Nads

May 1995

Son- Fat Jeff

Abusive father- Seth Coutts

Pimpmaster- Mark "the Tucci" Amatucci

Musical Superguest- Moanmaster X

The first film before Big Chops had gotten their name. This was done in Fat Jeff’s basement for a health class project on steroids. It begins with a son failing to lift a box and being beaten by his abusive father. The son trains to defeat his father but the results aren’t fast enough so he seeks out Pimpmaster who provides him with steroids and agrees to train him. The steroids turn him into a pimply, balding, small-testicled fighting machine. He defeats his dad and

lives a happy life with small testicles.

 

Seduction of the Fittest

June 1995

Grandmaster Seduction- Moanmaster X

Happy Jack- Hank Durand

Mayonaisse Dealer- Fat Jeff

Store Owner- Fat Jeff

God- Matt Hardy

Frances- Matt Hardy

and Beastman as their Immortal Lover

Filmed one magic night in Fat Jeff’s basement, this film marks the beginning of the Stank(Steve "Moanmaster X" Edmunds and Hank Durand) a film partnership. In this film that crazy mad jacker Happy Jack has killed a store owner who just caught him jacking in his store. The store owner goes to heaven where the lord sends him back to earth "funky" in the form of Grandmaster Seduction. Grandmaster Seduction joins up with the Canadian hunter Frances and tracks Happy Jack through his mayonaisse dealer to his hideout in an abandoned vaseline warehouse. Grandmaster hunts him down and after a vicious groove scene, kills Happy Jack.

 

Jurassic Penis

June 1995

Voices of Moanmaster X

Filmed the following "Seduction of the Fittest", this film is Moanmaster X’s solo project. In the film Professor Mossman has created a penis of giant proportions that wreaks havoc on a small town community.

 

Viva La Seduccion

July 1995

Grandmaster Seduction- Moanmaster X

Judge Rumpkin- Fat Jeff

Flanigan Windbreaster- Hank Durand

Mrs. Windbreaster- Hank Durand

Uncle Jesse- Hank Durand

John Smith- Moanmaster X

The Chief- Beastman

In the opening scene we see rich playboy Flanagan Windbreaster murdered by the, judge by day serial bitch by night, form of Judge Rumpkin. Meanwhile the mild-mannered birdwatcher, John Smith is on trial for ten counts of rape. After pleading sexy, Judge Rumpkin sentences him to death by lethal seduction. The seduction rather than kill him is absorbed into his body turning him into Grandmaster Seduction. He takes a job as a detective and is soon hired by Mrs. Windbreaster to investigate her husband’s murder. One night Judge Rumpkin tries for an attempt on Mrs. Windbreaster’s life but runs into Uncle Jesse of Jesse and the Rippers. After a heart-warming talk Judge Rumpkin knocks out Uncle Jesse and makes his way to Mrs. Windbreaster’s bedding chambers. There he runs into the awaiting Grandmaster Seduction, and together with Uncle Jesse they have a groove scene. Grandmaster then defeats Judge Rumpkin with "the bird".

 

Bridges of Robustia

August 1995

Grandmaster Seduction- Moanmaster X

Grandmaster Spunk- Jon Keith

Captain Toosh- Seth Coutts

Le Woman- Melani Ledu

Host- Wayne Chung

Ska extras

Filmed on a camping trip in Western Maryland. In this film Grandmaster Seduction is taught the ways of the Sexual Kung Fu by Grandmaster Spunk. When he is trained Grandmaster Spunk then sends him on a mission to retrieve the Golden Breasts. He gets them back by teaming up with the mysterious Captain Toosh in a dance contest.

 

Attack of the Teen Yuppies From Mars

November 1995

Grandmaster Seduction- Moanmaster X

HandJob- Hank Durand

Honky Headmaster- Moanmaster X

James Key- Hank Durand

Yuppie Alien- Hank Durand

Thuggie Thighs- Mark Amatucci

The President- Seth Coutts

Jon Lee Hooker- Jon Keith

Dan Deccico- Patrick Frey

Dave Fleming- Seth Coutts

Jeff Levine- Mark Amatuci

Brett Loubert- Travis Edelin

Meat- Fat Jeff

Lester- Brian Alt

Captain Cletus- Mark Amatucci

This is the unfinished epic film based on an essay for english class by Moanmaster X. In this film the Orgasmonaut I is flying through space when it is attacked by a yuppie spaceship. The Martian yuppies then contact the Honky Headmaster on earth and instruct him to take his band of earth yuppies and take over the presidency. The Honky Headmaster then gathers his yuppies including the notorious Dan Deccico who was getting Boys II Men tickets. Meanwhile the President learns of this and calls upon Grandmaster Seduction and the Orgasmonauts to put an end to the yuppies plot. The Orgasmonauts suit up and get their secret weapon Meat, to counter Lester, the yuppies weapon of destruction. The Orgasmonauts infiltrate the yuppie compound and kill Brett Loubert. This is as far as the movie got but it was supposed to go on to a grand battle with such face offs as Grandmaster Seduction vs. Honky Headmaster and Meat vs. Lester.

 

The Outakes

Spring 1996

Stank(Steve "Moanmaster X" Edmunds, Hank "Hank" Durand)

Guest starring Brock "Gaybot" Smith as Rabbi Leviticus

This is the masterpiece of all the films. It began when Stank began to become fed up with the excessive geekiness of the old Orgasmonaut group. They split off and created a film of outakes and bloopers from old movies. These included such great outakes as the Motown Philly Folly and the rape of Rabbi Leviticus. It is commonly known as the greatest of the Orgasmonaut films. It is also Brock’s first appearance as the ever bothersome Rabbi Leviticus.

 

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