NixRangers Chapter Four- Croc Teeth and Poolboys Soon, the light faded, and the five stood in the middle of a busy street, paved in macaroni. The trees spread macaroni branches to an overlooking macaroni sun. Little people in macaroni clothing drove by in macaroni cars, or on macaroni bicycles. "Ahem. I'll be back in a minute,". Cherry Bomb ran across the street, and promptly threw up behind a macaroni bush. "Are you okay?" BJ, as NixRanger Aardvark, asked in concern. She walked back up to the four, wiping her mouth. "I'm fine,". She snapped, popping a mint. "What happened?". "Well," NixRanger Platypus said, whipping out a mini-computer from God-only-knows-where. "It appears the NixRanger teleport is only really designed for the four of us. When we threw in the compound of another form, the teleport had to compensate, compact the added cells if you will,". He snapped the mini-computer shut, and put it back where he got it. "Your becoming sick was merely the biological reaction to, ahem," he smiled, "being put back together,". "Gross..." she muttered. "Is there anyway we can prevent it from happening when we go back?". So cocked an eyebrow in his direction. "Well," he said with an evil grin, "the fact that you're wearing leather is probably the major factor. Since it used to be part of an entirely different organism, it's like throwing two biologies into one, therefore if you... hehe... removed the costume... the trip should be easier,". Cherry shot him glare that could freeze the sun. "I *don't* think so,". She turned, and looked around her for the first time. "So, this is Lethbridge. Interesting place,". NixRanger Lemur, distracted by a leggy woman in a non-too-concealing beaded macaroni dress, wasn't listening. Cherry Bomb promptly smacked him in the side of the head. "Will you pay attention?". Tearing his gaze away from the woman, he rubbed the sore spot where she had hit him. "What'd you do that for?". "We don't have time for idle fun," Platypus answered for her. "We've got to save Amanda,". "Where do we go from here?" Cherry asked, pulling out one of her many guns. "Do I get to shoot someone?". NixRanger Panda spoke for the first time. "We've got to go to the Macaroni Palace and speak to Amanda's younger sister, Shana. If anyone know's what's happened, it'll be her,". "That sounds like a plan," Aardvark agreed. "But we have to broach the topic carefully; Shana may be VERY upset over her sister's disapearance,". *** "Stop jerking it! I want a nice stady flow of air. Yes, ah, you're a good boy. Much better,". When the four NixRangers and Cherry Bomb arrived at the palace, they were taken to the back cabana, where they were surprised to see Shana reclining comfortably in a macaroni lawnchair, being fanned by two scantily-clad male servants in leopard-print speedos. She wore a black bikini, and a tiger- print sarong, her face masked by black sunglasses. Her long red curls spilled over her shoulders, and golden rings shaped like macaroni adorned he fingertips. Beside her, several other poolboys toiled, some feeding her grapes and cheeses, some polishing her toenails, and some just there to look good. One poolboy had evidently misbehaved, as he was inside the nearby cheese-pool, scrubbing it shiny. "Shana?" Panda's voice held a note of disbelief at the sight of his friend' sister behaving in such a manner. "TonyBear!!!!!" Shana leaped from her chair and jumped at him, wrapping her legs around his waist and squeezing his neck like a six-year old. "Did you bring me anything?". Tony, flustered beyond belief, pryed the youth off him with a blush. "Shana, what the Hell are you doing?". Shana pouted. "You never let me have any fun. What's it look like? I'm ruling the kingdom! With my dear sister MIA, someone has to take her position,". She winked at Cherry. "Or MANY positions,". Cherry, with something resembling a smile on her face, nodded. "Where is she? Do you know?". Shana shook her head, and pinched the butt of a nearby poolboy. "I dunno. One minute she was here, the next she was gone. I went to check in on her, but she wasn't there. Just a bunch of stuff on the floor,". "And you decided rather than to seek help, you'd take over the kingdom and shape it to your liking,". Cherry decided. "An interesting plan,". Shana smiled, and clapped her hands with glee. "Finally! Someone understands me!" she turned to face the NixRangers. "I like her! Here, have a poolboy,". Shana reached behind her, and grabbed the nearest manservant, a Keanu Reeves lookalike with a well defined... stomach... tossing him in Cherry's direction. "I was bored with him anyways,". Cherry eyed her new toy, nodded in Shana's direction. "Thank you," she said, not knowing what else to say. Aardvark, a peculiar look on his face, turned to face Shana. "You said there were things left on the floor. What things?". "Oh, Sherlock, you're not going to make me get into THAT, are you?" Shana rolled her eyes again. "If you must know, a couple pairs of underwear, some skittles, and a crocodile tooth,". "Underwear?" Lemur's eyes grew wide. "I know who it is!!! It's Fruit of the Loom lady!!!!!". He smiled triumphantly, confident he'd solved the case. "Um, no,". Said Platypus. "The clue you're overlooking is the tooth. Who would leave a crocodile tooth?". "A crocodile?" Shana offered helpfully. "What if it were for part of a spell?" Cherry asked, smacking her poolboy when he tryed to brush her hair. "Like, Voodoo, or something?". Panda nodded. "Makes sence, though we'd have to speak to a voodooiene to make sure. Do any of you know one?". There was silence. Finally, a voice spoke up. "I know one,". Everyone grew silent. The answer had come from Cherry Bomb's new poolboy. "Huh? Hey, you're not supposed to talk!". Shana smacked him in the side of the head, and he flinched. "Hey, I want to hear this!" Cherry snapped. "What's your name?". The poolboy looked up slowly, afraid to meet her gaze. "I- she called me Skippy But... it's really up to you, since you're my mistress now,". Behind him, Lemur mouthed the word, 'Skippy?' to Shana who shrugged. "Well, what do you want to be called?" Cherry asked. 'Skippy' looked down. "Before... I became a poolboy, my mother called me Jonathan. It was a long time ago... but I think that was my name. Jon.. yes, I want to be called Jon,". He smiled weakly. "Okay, Jon," said Cherry, using his newfound name. "Who's this voodoo priestess you know? How do you know her?". "Her name is Madame Moonbeam," he said, still refusing to meet her gaze. "I was her poolboy before, when I lived on Earth. She lives in the city you call New Orleans, I believe. I can take you to her,". "Great. That's great,". Aardvark smiled. "Let's go right now, then!". "Wait just a minute," said Platypus. "How are we going to get there? You know the trouble we had earler with Cherry Bomb. I don't think we'll be able to bring ANOTHER person back with us,". "Damn it," Cherry swore. "I knew there'd be a catch,". "Wait a minute," said Lemur. Didn't you say earlier that the leather of her costume acted as a second entity? What if she removed it, then wouldn't we be able to transport Jon, here, as well? I mean, it would be rough, but no worse than when we got here,". "Out of the question,". Cherry snapped. "I'm not leaving my clothing here," "You don't seem to have much of a choice," supplied Panda. "Besides, how hard will it be? I mean, so you'll have to travel in your underwear for a bit, big deal. We'll get you a change of clothing once we get there,". "That's not the point, moron," she hissed. "The point is, I'm not WEARING any underwear,". "Huh?" The guys' eyes all widened in unison. "You're not wearing any..?" "Look how tight this is," she pointed out. "Do you REALLY think I'd risk panty-lines with an outfit like this? I don't THINK so!". She leaned against a nearby macaroni pillar. "I'm sorry, but it's just not happening. We'll have to leave pretty-boy here while we search for Moonbeam ourselves,". "Like HELL you are!". Shana snapped. Everyone turned to look at her. "I gave him to you as a gift. It would be a personal INSULT to me if you left him here,". She glared at Cherry. "There's only one thing to do...". *** "I can't believe I'm dong this," Cherry grouced. "I can't believe I'm actually wearing... ugh... cotton!!!". She emerged from the bathroom in a very pretty cotton dress, squirming like a child being forced to dress up for a picture. "Quit complaining, you look great,". Shana offered. "Besides, you've got to get to New Orleans SOMEHOW,". "Fine, but I'm changing the SECOND I get there,". She joined the circle in the center of the room formed by the five guys. The guys all flashed her cheesy smiles, and she gagged. "I HATE girly clothes,". She closed her eyes joined hands, and sighed. "NixRangers Teleport...." The bluish light surrounded them again, and they just barely heard Shana over the air pressure in their own ears. "You take care of that poolboy! And he'll take care of you!!!!". *** Who is this Madame Moonbeam? Will she help them? Will Cherry ever get to wear leather again? All this and more in the next.... NiXRangers!!!! *** Authors Note: This chapter's dedicated to my closest friend, Shannon, who first introduced me to the beauty of the poolboy. Long live the leopard thong. Oh, and to Tracie: There's Keanu for ya! You just wait.... Love ya All, Mercury. (_o_) ***