Note From Santa
--Author Unknown

Merry Christmas!

You think you got it bad?
     All night long, soot in the chimneys, smelly socks, cross dogs, shot at, mistaken for a stork, driving all night in the snow - damn near got killed by a 747.  Mrs.Clause is pissed off cause I got in so late.
     Donner and Blitzen and Rudolph got the shits over Albuquerque and you should see my suit.  The damn elves won't clean the sleigh unless I pay them double time.
     I'm so sick of cookies and milk, I could vomit.  The only highball I had all night was when I slipped getting out of my sleigh.
     My prostate is giving me hell.  I pee'd my pants at 20,000 feet and froze my ass to the seat.  I'm allergic to pine needles.  I itch all over and I think my hemeroids are back.

HO! HO! HO!
MERRY CHRISTMAS
, your ass.

















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