| Trojan Condom Company 6069 Slippery Root Drive Droptrouser, NC 22269 Dear Sir, We regret to inform you that we have rejected your recent application to model and represent our product, Trojan Condoms. Although your general physical appearance is not displeasing, our Board of Directors feels that your wearing of our product does not portray a possitive, romantic image for our product. A loose, baggy and wrinkled condom is not considered romantic. We did admire your efforts to firm it up by using Poly-Grip, but even then it slipped off before we could get the photographs taken. We would like to note, however, that we have never seen a penis that looked like a bicycle grip until now. We appreciate your interest and thank you for your time. We will retain your application for future consideration. If by chance, we decide that there is a market for Micro-Mini Condoms. We send greetings and our deepest sympathy to your wife and/or girlfriend. Yours Very Truly, Burly Dick, President Trojan Condom Company P.S. Remember Our Slogans: Cover your stump before you hump--don't be silly, protect your willy--before you attack her, wrap your wacker--if your not going to sack it, go home and wack it!! See ya Shortie! |
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