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"Man Zac, where did this come from?" Isaac asked lowering the piece of paper he'd been reading.. "Been feeling this way for awhile. Why?" Zac asked. "Man I don't know. Tay come here, look at these words." Isaac called out. Tay began to read. "Well every single time I see you I start to feel this way. It makes me wonder if I am ever gonna feel this way again. There's a picture tearing in the back of my head, I see it over and over. I wanna hold you and love you In my arms and then. I wanna need you cuz I need to be with you till the end. Then I hear myself reply "You've got to hold it in" this time tonight. If only I had the guts to feel this way, if only you'd look at me and want to stay, if only I could take you in my arms and say, I won't go cuz I need you. Sit here waiting, wondering, hoping that I'll make this right. Cuz all I think about is your hands, your face and all these lonely nights. There's a feeling screaming in the back of my head. Saying it over and over I wanna hold you and love you. In my arms and then I wanna need you cuz I need to be with you till the end. Then I hear myself reply "She'll never let you in" this time tonight. If only I had the guts to feel this way, if only you'd look at me and wanna stay, if only I could take you in my arms and say, I won't go cuz I need you. I wanna hear you say it'll always be this way. And we'll be hand in hand for everynight and everyday. I wanna scream and shout cuz rules are never doubt. And all I care about is you and me and us and now. If only I had the guts to feel this way, if only you'd look at me and wanna stay, if only I could take you in my arms and say, I won't go cuz I need you. Please don't go cause I need you now. Yeah. Cuz I need you. If only , cuz I need you. If only cuz I need you If only, yeah, if only...I need you now." Taylor finished, adding, "Great job Zac. What is this about though?" "You remember a little while backe we were at that Detroit promotion. Man I can't get her off my mind." Zac said trailing off in deep thought. "Who off your mind?" Isaac asked. "Yeah I agree with you Zac, she was unbelieveable. Man I can't believe she's just your age." Taylor answered. "Yeah man she's so got it together considering everything that's gone down. I'm awed just thinking about her." Zac said off in thought.
"I hate these things." Isaac said as they entered the complex. "Who else is here?" Zac asked. "Here's the list right here in order of performance. "Man Kid Rock is here. Cool." Zac said reading the first name. "You heard his latest with the reference to his son? I heard he knocked up some young chick and she refuses to marry him and is trying to keep hs son from him." Taylor shared. "Why is it always that way? You know she just didn't get her way that's why she's trying to keep his son from him I bet." Isaac shared as Zac walked up an introduced himself. "I guess I owe you a debt of gratitude. The old lady is bringing my son for a chance to listen to you guys." Kid shared. "Cool she's a fan of ours." Zac replied. "Yeah her Sis is really into you and that's how the two hooked up, one of your chatrooms."he was trying to explain. "Bobby. Bobby. Robert James Richey. You will not speak of Jessy that way. She's done nothing to deserve what you did. You watch you mouth young man. She is not your old lady and never will be now. You're just lucky she's bringing the baby. I still thank the Lord she didn't put you in prison for what you did." they heard. "Yeah Mom. Guys that's my Mom. Mom this is Hanson, Isaac, Taylor and Zac." Kid Rock introduced. "That's nice. Thank you boys. Because of you I get to see my grandson so just thank you. Bobby the guard called, she came Bobby. I don't believe it but she came and she brought the baby." his mother rattled on. "It's okay Mom. Yeah Jessy came and she brought the baby. You can hold your grandson. Mom come on, sit down." Kid said making his way to his mother who had sat down and started to cry. "Mom don't cry. Your grandson doesn't want to see you crying." Kid said pulling out his shirt and wiping her face, adding, "Mom I'm sorry. I screwed up royally." "That you did. You straighten this room and remember none of those fans around or she'll leave and take my little Baby with her." his mother said rising and heading out. "Nice meeting you Mrs. Richey. Let me give you a hand." Zac said as his brothers also pitched in straightening the room. "So this is a biggie, your son coming?" Zac asked. "Yeah man. He is about the coolest. You'll see. I'm sorry for the way things went down man, but the baby is about the best." Kid answered as the door opened and someone looked in and both ways. "No press?" she asked. "Jessy hey. No there isn't any press allowed in here." Kid answered. Two girls, one with a toddler in her arms entered dressed in oversized jeans and baseball shirts with hats and sunglasses. "Hey baby. Momma's boy ready to get out of this getup?" Jessy asked taking the hat and sunglasses off of him then doing the same before removing the baggie pants and shirt. As she removed the baseball shirt and cap her long blonde hair cascading down, she heard. "Wow she's tiny." Zac gasped. "She looks too young to have a baby." Isaac whispered. "Ssssh. Man she'll hear you." Zac said looking back at her knowing she had by the look on her face. "Peek-a-boo. Hey baby. Want to see your Gramma Richey. Bobby where's your Mom?" Jessy asked avoiding eye contact with any of them so they couldn't see the tears. "Hey little booger. Come with your Aunt Chele a minute." Chele said sweeping the baby into her arms and heading out the door, as Jessy put her hands to her face covering her tears. "Man Jessy we're sorry. How rude. I'm really sorry, come on, smack me a good one and you'll feel better." Zac said taking her by surprise and she started to laugh. "I'm serious girl. What you laughing about?" Zac teased again. "Yeah Zac serious. I can see it now, your beat will be off all night and in tomorrows rags wll be the story of me smacking you just to feel better." Jessy laughed, adding, "It's okay I forgive your rudeness. You're right I am too young to have a baby. It wasn't anything I planned at this time in my life. Bobby what is this "I'm a single parent and it isn't easy crap I'm hearing lately?" Jessy asked turning and glaring at him. "It's a public announcement I did." Bobby tried to answer. "What crap, you a single parent. That's a laugh. Let me see, how has your life changed? Nope that wasn't you sick everyday. Nope that wasn't you with your skin stretched until it hurt. Nope that wasn't you giving birth. Nope that wasn't you up all night when he was sick. Nope that wasn't you taking him for all his immunizations. Nope that wasn't you feeding him, bathing him...." Jessy was saying as he interrupted her, "Nope that wasn't me loving him everyday because he's not with me." "That's your own fault. I won't fight with you, not in front of my, our son. This is all your doing though. You are the one who decided to impress those so called druggie friends of yours by ruining our friendship when you drugged me then raped me that day, not me. You didn't even have the balls to admit it. If I hadn't gotten pregnant I would have just gone on thinking I was losing my mind. But Bobby I can get past all that but I'll never forget your attorney asking for a paternity test. I grew up loving you, nobody but you and you treat me like some skanky whore. I took your test and I'll take our son." Jessy said glaring at him. "What's this about." his mother said entering the room with her grandson in her arms. "You okay sis?" Chele asked following her into the room. "Yeah I'll be fine someday. You I feel sorry for because someday you're going to have to answer his questions. Maybe that's when you can be his real father." Jessy said calmly and quietly as the baby squealed. "Peek-a-boo Mommy sees you." Jessy teased making him laugh. "God Jessy you have to forgive me. Man that's so cool. Thanks for bringing him Jessy." Kid said. "Don't thank me. I brought him to see his grandparents. He had a great time with his Grampa. We're going to visit every Sunday afternoon after church." Jessy replied, adding, "Bobby I'm doing this for Dad. He adores our son and it was so good for him. Bobby I need you to stay out of this, okay? I don't think I can handle you too so please stay away." "You went there and he saw you." Mrs Richey said tickling the baby. "I'm sorry he took things so bad Mom. I didn't have any choice but to leave the state. Because of my age they would have charged Bobby even though I didn't want them to." Jessy explained. "I know sweetie and so does James, it's just he feels so guilty about not keeping an eye on things." Mrs Richey explained. "What father would believe their son would do something so disgusting? I didn't know Bobby was into drugs and capable of such a thing. I do now." Jessy said glaring at him again. You could cut the tension with a knife. "Jessy I'll take a drug test. I swear I'll never touch it again." Kid pleaded. "To late Bobby, that's wasted on me." Jessy said turning away from him while trying to avoid the baby's view and ended up facing Zac. As she raised her eyes she was prepared for a look of disgust but was met with a warm smile that took her by surprise. Jessy quickly looked away and when she glanced back he was still smiling at her so she smiled back. "Jessy you gotta believe me. I'm doing everything you ask. I won't take any chances where the baby is concerned." Kid explained. "I hope so Bobby I really do." Jessy said as she lowered her eyes to the floor then glanced at the baby who squealed when he caught her eye. "Hey Bubba you ready to see your Daddy? Huh Bubba?" Jessy asked. "Bubba? He's a Bubba?" Gramma Richey asked. "Mom he's surrounded by girls all the time. The least we can do is call him Bubba." Jessy tried to explain and they laughed. "Bobby here. Bubby this is Daddy. He's okay just a little daft in the head at times." Jessy said kissing the baby and handing him to his father. "Hey big guy. Man have you grown. Mommy's taking good care of you I see." Bobby said as the baby looked at Jessy. "Peek-a-boo." Jessy played hiding her face behind her hands. "We dig these expensive toys Daddy." Jessy said waving her hands, adding, "Bobby stop with all the toys. I'm just donating them to the church, Family Services, Red Cross. If he needs something I'll ask you okay please stop with the guilt buying." "Jessy I don't... Yeah I guess I do. I'll try but promise me you'll let me know. Let me help you." Bobby pleaded. "I can't promise. On bad days I hate you so for what you did." Jessy admitted fighting the tears turning so the baby couldn't see her, adding, "If he needs something on one of my bad days it'll be a cold day before I ask for your help." "Jessy let me help so you don't have bad days." Bobby begged. "Man you think your money can fix everything don't you. Sis stay with the baby, I gotta get out of here." Jessy pleaded. "Sure Sis. Hey booger." Chele said causing the baby to laugh. "You sure got good taste in women." Taylor said to the baby and he laughed "Wow he don't laugh for just anybody. Let me see, are you funny looking?" Chele teased, adding, "Booger he's not funny looking. He's kinda good looking. What you looking at that makes you laugh?" Chele teased cuddling the baby. "You want him?" Bobby asked. "No Bobby you go ahead and hold him. I can hold him all the time, we're roomies." Chele explained then kissed the baby. "Hey Jessy wait up." Zac called out. "Huh? Hey Zac." Jessy said stopping in the hallway, turning his way. "Looking for something or just looking?" Zac asked. "Umm a little of both. Zac I need a bathroom. Any idea where I'll find one?" Jessy asked. "Sure Jessy, this way." Zac said taking her hand and leading her to their dressing room. "I never would have found this one. Neat dressing room." Jessy said. "Yeah it is. Here Jessy the bathroom." Zac said opening a door. "Thanks Zac." Jessy said making her way inside, collapsing against the door as it closed, sighing, "He's so fine." When she finished she found Zac playing PlayStation, "Good game going. You ever capture the monster over here." Jessy asked pointing at the screen. "Where?" Zac asked and Jessy pointed the way. "Cool. Nah I didn't even know it was there. Want to play?" he asked. "Nah I gotta get back now that I've cooled back down." Jessy answered. "I'm impressed Jessy. I think I'd probably hurt him bad if he did that to me." Zac shared. "What good would that do? Man the baby's paid the most in all this already, I couldn't do something so he lost me too." Jessy replied. "I didn't even consider the baby." Zac gasped. "Why would you? You're not stupid enough to get into drugs. At least I hope not. I mean as a fan I defend you guys all the times. I guess I was just saying what I hoped was true." Jessy tried to explain. "You're right Jessy we ain't into drugs. You're proof of how they mess up your life." Zac said, adding, "I'll take you back so you don't get lost." Zac took her by the hand and led her back. During the concert he caught her eye and waved and everyone around her just stared at her. "What did I do?" Jessy asked of their stares. "He was wavng at you. You know Zac Hanson?" she was asked. They enjoyed the concert until Securty came and got her, the baby was fussy, so she spent the rest of the concert backstage. Quite often spotted near Zac Hanson. They were standing together at the back of the stage watching as Kid performed. "I've been sittin' here trying to find myself. I get behind myself. I need to rewind myself. Lookin' for the payback, listen for the playback. They say that every man bleeds just like me. And I feel like number one yet I'm last in line. I watch my youngest son and it helps to pass the time. I take too many pills. It helps to ease to pain. I made a couple dollar bills but still I feel the same. Everybody knows my name. They say it way out loud. A lot of folks fuck with me. It's hard to hang out in a crowd. I guess that's the price you pay to be some bigshot like I am. Outstretched hands and one-night stands, still I can't find love. When your walls come tumbling down I will always rebound. And when your walls come tumbling down I will always rebound. People don't know about the things I say or do. They don't understand about the shit that I've been through. It's been so long since I've been home. I've been gone, I've been gone for way too long. Maybe I forgot all the things I miss. Ohhh, somehow I know there's more to life than this. I said it too many times and I still stand firm. You get what you put in and people get what they deserve. Still I ain't seen mine, no I ain't seen mine. I've been givin', just ain't been gettin'. I've been walkin' that there line. So I think I'll keep a'walkin' with my head held high. I'll keep movin' on if only God knows why. Only God, only God, only God knows why. Only God, ohhh, why why why. Only God knows why. Take me to the river, won't you take me to the river." "You're quiet suddenly Zac. Something wrong?" Jessy asked, adding, "Is it because of him." "No Jessy. Well yes I guess in a way. Can we go someplace quiet?" Zac asked. "Oh that's funny. A Rock Concert and you think there's someplace quiet." Jessy teased. "Smart ass. You know there is someplace quiet or you wouldn't have brought the baby." Zac replied. "Man have you got my number." Jessy said shaking her head in disbelief at first until the insecurities started. "Man what are you thinking? You have a baby, he's not interested in someone with a baby. What guy wants someone else baby to take care of? Why would he be interested in you? Why would any man be interested in you for anything but sex? You're used merchandise." Jessy thought to herself as the pain was visible in her eyes. "Jessy you okay? Are you sick? Do you hurt?" Zac asked with such concern she was drawn to him, looking up to see the concern in his eyes. "Oh Jessy what's wrong?" Zac asked wrapping his arms around her. "Tell me Jessy?" Zac asked again as he kissed the top of her head holding her so gently. "I can't Zac you'll get mad at me." Jessy choked out before crying. "Oh Jessy I won't get mad at you. I promise." Zac said kissing her forehead. The feel of his lips on her skin sent her mind reeling. "No Zac. I don't want your promises. You'll just break them. He promised he loved me and would never hurt me. He promised he'd wait until I was ready. He lied. I'm just tired of being lied to Zac. I think I better go." Jessy whimpered trying to pull away from him. "Come with me so we can talk?" Zac asked letting her go and extending his hand. Jessy stared at his hand, staring, trying to decide. Her heart wanted her to go with him but the memory of the hurt and pain screamed NO! As she decided to listen to her heart and reached for his hand she looked up to see the smile on Zac's face. He closed his hand gently squeezing then he laced his fingers in hers and led her backstage to the dressing rooms. "Jessy that's the baby isn't it?" Zac asked as he neared the dressing room marked 'Kid Rock'. "Yeah. Sorry Zac, I gotta..' Jessy started to answer as Zac stopped and opened the door and led her in. "Hey Bubba. What's with all the noise? You singing?" Zac asked and the baby stopped crying and turned to stare at him. "Hey Bub. Look who I have?" Zac said pulling Jessy in front of him as the baby smiled so big, thrilled to see her. "Hey Bubba. What's the matter baby?" Jessy asked as his smile turned to tears. "Ssssh Mommy's here." Jessy said bending and picking him up and holding him in her arms. "You tired Bubba?" Jessy whispered as he cuddled in her arms. She headed to his diaper bag, trying to unzip it while holding him and was shocked as Zac was suddenly at her side opening the bag. "Thanks Zac. Umm would you mind getting his pj's and a diaper?" Jessy asked turning to find him with what she needed in his hand. "Boy this is nice." Jessy said imediately regretting the coment and getting quiet. "Why you pulling away Jessy? Am I doing something wrong?" Zac asked sounding a little dejected. "No Zac. I'm sorry. I'm just sorry I shouldn't have said that but it is nice having help. I guess I didn't think about it before, you know, doing it all alone until you helped without being asked." Jessy explained trying hard not to cry making her way to the counch laying the baby down and changing him. "Here. Jessy it's just, you know I'm from a big family and it's expected to help out, give a hand, so I guess I'm used to helping without being asked." Zac explained. "Oh I see. Well thanks Zac. I really appreciate it even though I don't look it." Jessy said finishing and taking the baby in her arms. "Mom I'm going to take him for a walk and see if he calms down." Jessy explained as she followed Zac out the door. They headed further away from the stage to get away from the noise. Jessy's heart skipped a beat as Zac wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer as he sang to the baby. "Wow you're amazing. He's asleep Zac." Jessy whispered totally shocked. "I sing Zoe to sleep all the time." he whispered back. "So that's why you're so good at it." Jessy whispered then smiled at him, lost in his warm brown eyes. "What's this?" Bobby asked. "What's what and sssssh he just went to sleep." Jessy chastised, upset with the tone of his question knowing exactly what he'd meant. "Zac will you hold him for me?" Jessy asked and as soon as he lifted him from her arms. "Bobby we got to talk." Jessy said walking past him and stopping far enough away to not wake the baby. "Yeah I know it's your life and I would still be in it if I hadn't screwed up royally." Bobby said smacking the wall before walking away. "Huh. Guess he didn't want my lecture. How about you?" Jessy asked. "Lecture away. I'm pretty good at looking like I'm listening." Zac teased causing her to laugh. He walked her back to say goodbye to everyone before he and his brother walked them to the awaiting car.
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