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They lucked out finding a restaurant with a meeting room that held the twenty of them so they could have some privacy. They toasted the girls and their accomplishments, "I don't know about everyone else but to personally know the top four competitors just blows me away. I can't believe how talented you all are and my prayer is that you always have fun at it. To my girls I say congratulations, a job well done." Jessy said raising her glass to the four. A few more toasts and the waitress came to take orders as Jessy whispered to Zac and headed to the restrooms. She returned to a fussy baby being passed down the table until he found his Daddy. The minute Zac held him and kissed him he quieted, "Wow boy could we have used you a couple of nights. Nothing would sooth that boy, I can't count the times Jessy put him in his jogging stroller and ran up and down the block with him. That boy likes to go fast. Right girl?" Gramma said. "He has had his moments but he's such a good baby overall." Jessy said leaning to kiss his head. "I think he's hungry Mommy." Zac said patting his back and handing him to Jessy to nurse. "John I'd like your permission to marry Jessy mostly for the baby but Jacob isn't the only reason, Jessy and I had talked about marrying someday. We just didn't plan on my making such a stupid mistake and messing things up the way I did. We're meant to be together whether it's now or when we're old enough to marry without your permission, but I'll still ask for it. Hopefully someday you'll be able to forgive me and be happy for us." Zac asked taking Jacob and burping him without being asked while she switched sides and waited for the baby. "Nothing hun." Zac said placing Jacob in her arm as he nursed off the other side until Zac took him once again, patting his back until he fell asleep. Zac refused to put him down or let anyone else take him, "I owe him about two months worth of holding and loving so I figure I better start catching up is all." Zac explained and tears flooded Jessy's eyes. "Don't cry Jessy. It's Mommy and Daddy's fault not yours." Lindsay said walking around the table to hug Jessy. "Lindsay your Mom and Dad had their reasons for not telling me. I point blank told your Mom if she ever asked about my past I would quit. Did you know that? They had their reason for not telling me, they would risk losing me even over good news. Would you take the chance? Lindsay did you think to ask them why they didn't tell me?" Jessy asked pulling her to her lap. "No Jessy. They were probably too busy." Lindsay said hanging her head. "So you assumed they were too busy to tell me something they knew would thrill me, such good news that I would probably feel connected to them for the rest of my life. Lindsay I'm nothing to them, but they took me in their home and treated me as if I was their own, with love and respect. And because of that they're faced with you running away, refusing to talk or work through your problems. How do you think that makes them feel? If it was me I'd be afraid to look at you crossed eyed afraid you would book again." Jessy said. "I didn't think." Lindsay said. "Yeah I know, I didn't think of anything but Zac lied to me and I had told him who, how, and where I came from. When he hurt me all I could think of was if he wanted to hurt me again all he'd have to do is squeal on me. So I didn't think about how much I knew he loved me, how much I loved him, I thought about one mistake he made and judged him by it. Lindsay I knew how much leaving would hurt him, I still went knowing he'd feel guilty and blame himself but I only thought about that one mistake and I ran. Look what I did. I didn't give Zac any say in the birth of his child, I didn't even tell him. How do you think he feels holding his two month old son in his arms only knowing of him for four hours. How do I ever make that up, give it back, make it okay? All because I only thought of one thing. Just like you, you remember all the times they were too busy for you and you only think of that. You want to run like me, you ready to face what you did like me?" Jessy asked. "No Jessy." Lindsay cried. "Then why don't you show them what you're made of an apologize for running and promise you'll never run again until you've talked over everything and tried everything else. I'm not saying that running isn't an option. There are women and men who are beaten and abused by the person they're with, they should run and not look back. There are kids who are beaten and abused, they should run but the law doesn't protect them. When we run adults even the ones we're running from can make us come back. I was a lot like you, you couldn't face living with mom and dad, blaming them for my running, I couldn't face living with a man so full of hatred and disrespect at time I'd swear he was the devil here on earth. But who's going to listen to a kid. Well you know what, I graduated high school at about six months pregnant with Jacob and I've already taken a couple of college courses and I'm going to continue and become a lawyer and fight for kids, cuz they do matter. You matter to so many people, how lucky you had a safe place to run to, you know. Did you thank them for taking you in and caring when you wouldn't let anyone else care?" Jessy asked. "No." Lindsay cried. "Wow who are you? I think I picked up the wrong kid. I meant to pick up Lindsay Catherine Martin my little sister. Sorry. I look for her, you can go." Jessy said. "Jessy it's me." Lindsay say. "Can't be, my little sister would have thanked Mom and Dad Hanson and let them now how lucky you are that they loved you enough to help you when you needed someone. But most definitely my little sister has attitude and she would stand with her head high and apologize for thinking so badly about the two people who love her more than anything else and she'd beg them to forgive her for being so cruel and hurting them the way she did. But most of all my little sister would mean it and feel." Jessy said holding Lindsay until the sobs stopped and she looked at her and smiled, grabbing a napkin and wiping away the tears. "I love you baby and I always will Lindsay. No matter what separates us, you are always here." Jessy said touching her heart. Lindsay walked to the end of the table and stood between Walker and Diana and thanked them for loving her enough to take her in when she needed someone and apologized for putting them in the middle between her and her folks. Lindsay held her head high a stopped next between her parents and apolgized for not asking, just assuming. She begged to be forgiven and promised in the future to always talk to them. As they hugged, the food trays were finally rolled in and lunch was served. "Before we start I'd just like to say that Mary and I would be honored to have Zac marry Jessy if that's what she wants. We agree with you Zac, something are meant to be, you and Jessy are one of those things. And you're already great parents but Jacob deserves to be a Hanson too so you're a family. Jessy you say the word and we'll do whatever it takes to see that you are happy baby." John said, adding, "To Zac, Jessy and Jacob" raising his glass. "Daddy Martin" Jessy squealed racing around the table. "Yes I want to marry Zac more than anything. Thank you. Mom you too, thanks." Jessy said hugging them both as Chele and Venita both screamed "Ahhhh" and the three hugged, and jumped. "No more screaming or you can put the baby back to sleep." Jessy warned. "Welcome back and to the family sis." Isaac said as he and Becky hugged Jessy and then the other girls. "Knew you'd make it. You are meant to be together, he loves you so much sis." Taylor said hugging her. "Me too" Mackie said tugging at Jessy's top. "Hey little man. Of course you too." Jessy said hugging him tight lifting him from the ground. "Me do. Me do." Zoe said leaping to Jessy. "Geez Tay help me catch her." Jessy squealed as Taylor reached as she started pulling Jessy down. "Oww oww oww not on a nursing Mommy Zoe." Jessy explained her eyes filling with tears. "Sis you okay?" Chele came to see what was going on. "Jessy say something." Chele said. "Oh god that hurt. Jessy said placing an arm over her breasts laying her head on Chele's shoulder. "You okay?" Chele asked. "I sure hope so, it's just Jacob just started eating more and so I'm still trying to adjust to it and I'm harder than normal and that hurt. Stopped leaking at least. I'm hungry." Jessy said making her way back to her seat. As they ate the made wedding plans, talked about where they'd live, and when Jessy announced she needed to give notice at work before she'd return to Tulsa, Zac got up and left the room. "Wow he was close enough to hear what I said about running, and he runs." Jessy said. "You want me to go after him." Walker asked. "Ummm no. Don't care right now. Let him deal with it." Jessy said non chalantly while seething on the inside. "I'm going after more ice water, anyone else need anything." Jessy asked heading to find the waitress. She managed to get the pitcher refilled and as she turned to return. "Geez Zac don't sneak up on me." Jessy whispered to not wake Jacob. "So what's up?" Jessy asked bending to kiss Jacob then Zac. "Jessy don't ask me. I can't let you go please. You have to come home, you and Jacob." Zac pleaded. "Zac I can't just up and disappear on them. Why can't you understand that. I've lived with them for eleven months, they lived through my pregnancy, Jacob's birth. Gawd Zac they're family. You're probably thinking she booked on us why not them." Jessy said. "Jessy I am not and don't do this. Baby I just can't think of putting him down much less leaving him here and going back to Tulsa without both of you is all. Don't ask me to Jessy." Zac said. "Then don't, stay here with us until I can get things squared away and then you can take us both home. Okay Zac." Jessy asked. "Zac think about it. Jacob has a doctor appointment Thursday for more of his vaccinations and so we should stick around a couple days after to make sure he doesn't have a reaction. I need to give notice at work. Maybe Mr Smith won't need me to stick around but I owe him at least a two week notice, he didn't fire me when I told him I was pregnant and he sure could have. I never would have been able to afford Dr Adams, I would have had to travel to Little Rock for a free clinic Zac. I owe these people." Jessy said. "I know Jessy. I would have.." Zac stopped without finishing. "You would have done all of that for the baby and me but I wouldn't let you so stop with all the grateful shit. Huh?" Jessy said. "Yeah Jessy. You could have come home to me or just let met know you needed money for a doctor bill or whatever." Zac said. "Why don't you just say it. You hate me for excluding you from the baby's birth and everything else." Jessy demanded. "Jessy I don't hate you. I don't blame you. It's more my fault I missed out on it. You didn't trust me and who would expect you to. I raped you. I didn't listen to you. I was the only important thing that night, angry me. Jessy I can't change it, I can only accept it and try to do better." Zac said, adding, "Baby don't cry." "I can't help it." Jessy said, adding, "I've blamed myself, for not stopping you. At times I told myself you were right, all you said to me was I wanted it and asked for it. Now to listen to you admit you raped me. I guess I'm just so confused." Jessy said. "You had every reason not to believe me Jessy. But I've changed. A lot babe. So you think Gramma will welcome me?" Zac asked "If she doesn't we'll just get a room in the motel for a couple weeks." Jessy said. "Umm babe the press would really eat that up." Zac laughed and Jessy realized what she had suggested. "Man I forget who you are. I'm sure Gramma will welcome you. Let's go ask." Jessy said.
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