One day, the Lord decided to make a companion 
for Adam. He summoned St. Peter and told him of 
his decision. He told St. Peter that he wanted to 
make a being who was similar to man, yet was 
different, and could offer him comfort, companionship 
and pleasure. The Lord said he would call this being 
a woman. 

So St. Peter went about creating this being which was 
similar to man yet was different in ways that would be 
appealing and could provide physical pleasure to man. 
When St. Peter had finished creating this being who 
could now be called woman he summoned The Lord. 

"Ah, St. Peter, once again you have done an excellent 
job," said The Lord. 

"Thank You, Great One," replied St. Peter. "I am now 
ready to provide the brain, nerve endings and senses 
to the being, this .. woman. I require your assistance on 
this matter, Lord." 

"You shall make her brain, slightly smaller, yet more 
intuitive, more feeling, more compassionate, and more 
adaptable than man's," said The Lord. 

"The nerve endings," said St. Peter. "How many will I 
put in her hands?" 

"How many did we put in Adam? asked The Lord. 

"Two hundred, my Lord," replied St. Peter. 

"Then we shall do the same for this woman," said The 
Lord. 
"And how many nerve endings shall we put in her feet?" 
inquired St. Peter. 

"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord. 

"Seventy five, my Lord," replied St. Peter. 

"Ah yes, these beings are constantly on their feet, so 
they benefit from having less nerve endings there. Do 
the same for woman," said the Lord. 

"How many nerve endings should we put in woman's 
genitals?" inquired St. Peter. 

"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord. 

"Four hundred and twenty, my Lord," replied St. Peter. 

"Of course, we did want Adam to have a means of 
receiving extra pleasure in his life, didn't we? Do the 
same for woman," said The Lord. 

"Yes, my Lord," said St. Peter. 

"No, wait," said The Lord. "Screw it, give her ten 
thousand! I want her to scream my name!" 

Well....... now you know! 
 

WOMEN'S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOKLET 
1) Never do housework.  No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless 
2) Remember you are known by the idot you accompany 
3) Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers 
4) What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?  You shut the door 
5) So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them 
6) If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put them all there 
7) Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse 
8) Never let your man's mind wander.  It's too little to be let out alone 
9) The only reason men are on this planet is that vibrators can't dance or buy drinks 
10) Never sleep with a man who has named his penis 
11) Go for younger men.  You might as well.  They never mature anyway 
12) A man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest Gump is unquestionably gay 
13) Men are all the same.  They just have different faces so you can tell them apart 
14) Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable 
15) Women don't make fools of men.  Most of them are the do-it-yourself types 
16) The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it 
17) Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener 
18) If you want a committed man, look in the mental hospital 
19) The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in bibical times, men wouldn't ask for directions 
20) If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks 
21) A man's idea of a serious commitment is usually, "oh alright, I'll stay the night" 
22) Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his 
23) If he asks you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing 
24) Sadly, all men are created equal 
25) When he asks you if he's the first, tell him, " you may be, you look familiar" 

ANNOUNCEMENT FOR MEN 
COURSE SEMINARS FOR MEN 

OFFERED BY FEMALE COLLEGIATE STAFF 

Please note that the Female Collegiate Staff will once again be offering 

courses exclusively for men of any marital status.  Classes will be 
limited to 
a maximum of eighteen (18) students, as the course material may prove 
too 
difficult if class sizes exceed this limit. 

COURSE #        COURSE TITLE 
101     combatting stupidity 
102     you too can do housework 
103     p.m.s. - learnign whe to keep your mouth shut 
104     how to fill an ice cube tray 
105     we do not want sleazy underthings for christmas - give us money 
106     parenting: no, it does not end with conception 
107     get a life: learn how to cook 
108     how not to act like an asshole when you are obviously wrong 
109     you: the weaker sex 
110     reasons to give flowers 
111     how to stay awake after sex 
112     why it is unexceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but in the bathroom 
113     garbage: getting it to the curb 
114     sex: you can fall asleep without it if you really try 
115     sex: the morning dilemma....if it's "awake' take a shower 
116     the weekend and sports are NOT synonymous 
117     how to put the toilet seat down 
118     how to go shopping with your mate and not get lost 
119     the remote control; overcoming your dependency 
120     how not to act younger that your children 
121     you too can be the designated driver 
122     honest, you don't look like Mel Gibson, especially when you're naked 
123     changing your underwear....it really works 
124     fluffing the blanket after farting is not necessary 
125     real men ask for directions