1.You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." 
          2.Your Jedi robe is camouflage 
          3.You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill. 
          4.At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored. 
          5.You have bantha horns on the front of your land speeder. 
          6.You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok 
          7.You have ever had an X-Wing up on blocks in your yard. 
          8.The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. 
          9.Wookies are offended by your B.O. 
        10.You have ever used the force to get yourself another 
            beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. 
        11.You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling. 
        12.Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the darkside...it'll be a hoot." 
        13.You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light. 
        14.You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your landspeeder. 
        15.You think Han Solo would look better in a flannel cause he looks a little sissy in that vest. 
        16.You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts. 
        17.You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window. 
        18.Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt 
had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women. 
        19.You ever fell in love with your sister. 
        20.You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil empire as "them damn Yankees." 
        21.You have a cousin wo bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. 
        22.You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a red wood deck. 
        23.You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels on the  rocks during the cantina scene. 
        24.In your opinion, that Darth Vader fellow "just ain't right." 
  
  
  
  
  

VIRUS ALERT 

If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately. Do not 
open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. 
It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also 
delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. 
It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. 
It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and 
uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. 
It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice 
cream melts and your milk curdles. 
It will program your phone autodial to call only your mother-in-law's number. 
This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. 
It will drink all your beer. 
It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company. 
Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz (be 
honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears. 
It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all 
while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing 
their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card. 
It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is 
only fun until someone loses an eye. 
It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea. 
It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to 
passive tense and incorporating ndetectable misspellings which grossly 
change the interpretations of key sentences. 
If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows95 environment, it will 
leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously 
close to a full bathtub. 
It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and 
pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. 
It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam. It will molecularly 
rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to 
smell like dill pickles. 
It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It 
is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. 
These are just a few signs of infection. 

PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!! 
(why not? everyone else will!)