Top Ten Signs Your Legal Team is Falling Apart 

10. Instead of "Objection!" they keep shouting "Bingo!" 
9. They keep asking you: "Would it kill you to say you did it?" 
8. They're suing each other over the last cheese Danish 
7. Before doing anything, they ask themselves, "How would Matlock handle this?" 
6. The only motion they make involves their middle fingers 
5. They giggle uncontrollably every time anyone says "briefs" 
4. They've enlisted the services of Mr. Doug Llewellyn 
3. They repeatedly scream at each other, "You crazy!" [video clip of 
Mujibur and Sirajul shouting "You crazy!" in a Court TV parody] 
2. They begin each argument by saying, "Bitchin' robe, Your Honor!" 
1. Jacoby trying to strangle Meyers 
  
  
   

This may not pertain to everyone but its VERY FUNNY! 

Subject: College Life.. 

Top Ten Signs That You're Suffering Semester Burnout: 
10. You're so tired, that you now answer the phone, "Hell." 

 9. Mom calls to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, 
 "Get off my back, bitch!" 

 8. When your parents inquire about your grades, you sing 
 the Cookie Monster song: "C is for cookie, that's good enough for  me..." 

 7. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back 
 to sleep because you just don't care.. 

 6. You've got so much on your mind, you've forgotten how to pee. 

 5. Just to take a break from studying, you actually exit 
 your dormitory when the nightly fire alarm goes off. 

 4. You sleep more in class than at home. 

 3. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your  bookbag. 

 2. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through  Monday. 

 1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in  jail right now. 
  
  

Top Ten Sexually Explicit Lines From Star Wars 

10.  "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!" 
9.  "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?" 
8.  "Put that thing away before you get us all killed." 
7.  "You've got something jammed in here real good." 
6.  "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" 
5.  "You came in that thing?  You're braver than I thought." 
4.  "Sorry about the mess..." 3.  "Look at the size of that thing!" 
2.  "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!" 
1.  "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid." 
    ------------------------------------------------------ 
    From The Empire Strikes Back 

10.  "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me." 
9.  "Size matters not.  Judge me by my size, do you?" 
8.  "There's an awful lot of moisture in here." 
7.  "But now we must eat.  Come, good food, come..." 
6.  "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while." 
5.  "Hurry up, golden-rod..." 
4.  "I must have hit it pretty close to the mark to get her al riled up like 
      that, huh kid?" 3.  "Possible he came in through the south entrance." 
2.  "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!" 
1.  "Control, control!  You must learn control!" 
    --------------------------------------------------------- 
    Return of the Jedi 

10.  "I look forward to completing your training. 
      In time you will call me master."  (Emperor) 
9.  "You're a jittery little thing, aren't you?"  (Leia) 
8.  "Someone must've told them about my little maneuver at the 
      battle of Taanab."  (Lando) 
7.  "There is good in him, I've felt it."  (Luke) 
6.  "If I told you half the things I've heard about this Jabba the Hutt, 
      you'd probably short circuit."  (C3PO) 
5.  "I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast as they can." 
      (Jerjerrod), with reply "Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them." 
      (Darth) 
4.  "Grab me Chewie.  I'm slipping -- hold on.  Grab it, almost...you almost 
      got it.  Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me, Chewie, 
      Chewie!"  (Han) 3.  "Short help's better than no help at all."  (Han) 
2.  "Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one." (Han) 
1.  "Back door, huh? Good idea!" (Han) 
  
  
   

  
  
TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX: 

10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the  sack. 

9)  If you are tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again. 

8)  The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some. 

7)  You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some. 

6)  It is okay when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone 
else, because you are. 

5)  Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy. 

4)  If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door. 

3)  It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning. 

2)  Less guilt the morning after. 

1)  YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD!!!!! 
HOW ABOUT THAT!!!!!