QUOTES!

These are some brilliant quotes from my people :)



"But I buy the bones!" - Jenni, arguing about coffee

"I feel thick sometimes too!" - Page

"I'm weird, and that makes people laugh, and that makes me happy, so I don't need prozac." - Adam Zandefer

"Sometimes its crying time, and sometimes its not." - Michael

Jenni: My face is dry!
Adam: I don't have any lotion...but come here..*makes masturbation gesture*

"You're free boobin' it!"

"Sigma Phi Hairsalon? WHAT?" -Jenni

"You're not scared of a little man in a canoe are you?! -Jenni

"Well, Jenni... some girls just taste like... fish..." -Daniel on oral sex

Lauren: You better get off his bed! He'll try to get on you!
Jenni: Yeah, too late

"I can't go home! The planes will eat me!" -Jenni

Jenni: Its cause I smell like pooooooop
Gabe: Man... you really know how to sweet-talk a guy

Man: They have a lot of animals over there... that, Wyoming place.
Jenni: Like what, rednecks?!

Derrick: Yeah, people gave me a hard time in school because of my name.
Maciej: They gave YOU a hard time? My name is Maciej!

Josh: Well its not her fault she's a complete waste of sperm and egg.
Jenni: It's not?
Josh: Okay, it is. I was just trying to be nice.

"They don't call it PUNTANG for nothin!" -Michael

"Yeah, what do you think of our Human Sexuality class? Like so far its been cool. But 'Plow my vulva!'? What the hell is that even about?" -Joe

"Of course the Aztecs were civilized! They ate people and had sex with animals." -Jenni

Jenny: I thought Craig hated poop dick.
Jenni: Yeah, I guess not.

Jenni: I don't think I could pee on that very good though.
Michael: Its ok, we'll get you a helicopter.

"Muahahaha! I am evil Catholic Church! I eat your brain!" -Jenni

"I don't like to think of millions of nookie-ing monks." -Jenni

"Oh, dainty duck, oh dear!" -Kyle "Ghetto Booty" Biaz

"Cause its no fun to be bleeding out of your vagina when you see your boyfriend you haven't seen in weeks." -Momma KIM

"You know, the real reason they invited us over for dinner is cause they wanted us to bring our toilet. Well, I don't want them to have my toilet! It's MY toilet! -My Aunt Sandy

"They saw me standing there at the urinal with my mosquito and just kind of glanced away. People really are polite." -My Uncle Larry, referring to a large steel lawn ornament mosquito he bought at the artsfest

"Tierra, I love you and Chris the same. The only difference is you don't give me hot sex!" -Missy

"I'm tired of this tuna maddness" -Missy

Jenni: It would be funny if you wanted to be a farmer.
Dad: No chance of that. I'm too happy being a jerk.

"There's no sex and there sure ain't no food out there in the desert!" -Dr. Latimer

"Jenni that trashcan is vibrating! Do you think its a giant dildo?!" -Sandi upon the discovery of the "vibrating trashcan"

Chaufey: I mean that dildo was huge! You could beat someone to death with that thing! I was swinging it around all over the place.
Jenni: Wow... You'd have giant mushroom welts from that!

Alison: I'll tell Sandi that I spent her money and drank all her cigarettes!
Jackie: Drank her cigarettes?
Alison: Yeah!
Jackie: You said that like you meant to say it
Alison: What did I say??!!

Alison: Where am I and where are my clothes??
Jackie: Maybe he took them
Alison: WHO???

"Look at me chasing this little guy around the house! Why the hell am I chasing this little guy??" -Sandi chasing little Nick at Donnie's

Chaufey: I've decided that these beds are just not made for two people.
Jenni: Yeah, we'd have to be all shrunken like Ray for this to be comfortable.

"Jenni, you're outta control!" -Chaufey

"You gotta go and make me a slut! -Chaufey

Jessi (Michael's 8 year old sister): What's so funny?!
Michael: Your mom
Jessi: What'd she do?!