ENEMA OF THE STATE
DUMPWEED
It's understood, I said it many ways 
Too scared to run, I'm too scared to stay 
I said I'd leave, I could never leave her 
And if I did, you know I'd never cheat her 
~
But this I ask, it's what I want to know 
How would you feel, if I should choose to go 
Another guy, you think it'd be unlikely 
Another guy, you think he'd wanna fight me 
~
She's a dove, she's a fucking nightmare 
Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here 
On the go, it's way too late to play 
I need a girl that I can train 
~
I heard it once, I'm sure I heard it twice 
My dad used to give me all of his advice 
He would say "you gotta turn your back and run now 
Come on, son, you haven't got a chance now" 
~
She's a dove, she's a fucking nightmare 
Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here 
On the go and it's way too late to play 
I need a girl that I can train 
~
She's a dove, she's a fucking nightmare 
Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here 
On the go and it's way too late to play 
I need a girl that I can train 
~
Need a girl that I can train 
Need a girl that I can train 
Turn your back and run now 
You haven't got a chance now 
*****
DON'T LEAVE ME
Don't leave me all alone 
Just drop me off at home 
I'll be fine, it's not the first 
Just like last time, but a little worse 
~
And she said that I'm not the one that she thinks about and 
She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down 
I said "don't let your future be destroyed by my past" 
She said "don't let my door hit your ass" 
~
One more chance, I'll try this time 
I'll give you yours, I won't take mine 
I'll listen up, pretend to care 
Go on ahead, I'll meet you there 
~
And she said that I'm not the one that she thinks about and 
She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down 
I said "don't let your future be destroyed by my past" 
She said "don't let my door hit your ass" 
~
Let's try this one more time with feeling 
One more time with feeling 
One more time with feeling 
One more time with feeling 
~
She said that I'm not the one that she thinks about and 
She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down 
I said "don't let your future be destroyed by my past" 
She said "don't let my door hit your ass" 
~
Don't leave me all alone 
Just drop me off at home 
And I'll be fine 
*****
ALIENS EXIST
Hey mom, there's something in the backroom 
I hope it's not the creatures from above 
You used to read me stories 
as if my dreams were boring 
we all know conspiracies are dumb 
~
What if people knew that these were real? 
I leave my closet door open all night 
I know the CIA would say what you hear is all hearsay 
I wish someone would tell me what was right 
~
Up all night long and there's something very wrong 
And I know it must be late, been gone since yesterday 
I'm not like you guys, no I'm not like you 
~
I am still a skeptic, yes you'll know me 
Been best friends and will be 'til we die 
I got an injection of fear from the abduction 
My best friend thinks I'm just telling lies. Alright. 
~
Up all night long and there's something very wrong 
And I know it must be late, been gone since yesterday 
I'm not like you guys, I'm not like you 
~
Dark and scary, ordinary, explanation, and information 
Nice to know ya', paranoia 
Where's my mother? Biofather 
~
Up all night long and there's something very wrong 
And I know it must be late, been gone since yesterday 
I'm not like you guys, twelve majestic lies (?). 
*****
GOING AWAY TO COLLEGE
Please take me by the hand 
It's so cold out tonight 
I'll put blankets on the bed 
I won't turn out the light 
~
Just don't forget to think about me and I won't forget you 
I'll write you once a week she said 
once a week she said 
~
Why does it feel the same 
To fall in love or break it up 
And if young love is just a game 
Then I must have missed the kick off 
~
Don't depend on if she ever followed you or 
Anything but I'd go through hell for you 
And I haven't been this scared in a long time 
And I'm so unprepared 
So here's your valentine 
 ouquet of clumsy words 
A simple melody 
This world's an ugly place
But you're so beautiful to me
~
I think about the times 
She kissed me after class and 
She put up with my friends 
I acted like an ass 
~
I ditched my lecture, to watch the girls play soccer 
Is my picture still hanging in her locker? 
I haven't been this scared in a long time 
And I'm so unprepared 
So here's your valentine 
A bouquet of clumsy words 
A simple melody, this world's an ugly place 
But you're so beautiful 
*****
WHAT'S MY AGE AGAIN
I took her out, it was a friday nighy 
I wore cologne to get the feeling right 
We started making out, and she took off my pants 
But then I turned on the TV 
And thats about the time she walked away from me
~
Nobody likes you when you're twenty-three 
And are still more amused by TV shows 
What the hell is ADD? 
My friends say I should act my age 
What's my age again? What's my age again? 
~
Then later on, on the drive home 
I called her mom from a pay phone 
I said I was the cops, and your husband's in jail 
The state looks down on sodomy 
And thats about the time that bitch hung up on me
~
Nobody likes you when you're twenty-three 
And arestill more amused by prank phone calls 
What the hell is call ID? 
My friends say I should act my age 
What's my age again? What's my age again? 
~
And thats about the time she walked away from me 
Nobody likes you when you're twenty-three 
and you still act like you're in freshman year 
What the hell is wrong with me? 
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again? (What's my age again?) 
~
Thats about the time that she broke up with me 
No one should take themselves so seriously 
With many years ahead to fall in line 
Why would you wish down on me 
I never want to act my age 
What's my age again? What's my age again? What's my age again? 
*****
DYSENTARY GARY
Got a lotta heart ache 
He's a fuckin' weasel 
His issues make my mind ache 
Wanna make a deal 
~
'Cause I love your little motions 
You do with your pigtails 
What a nice creation 
Worth another night in jail 
~
He's a player, diarrhea giver 
Tried to grow his hair out, friends were listening to Slayer 
I'd like to find him Friday night 
Hanging out with mom, trying on his father's tights 
~
Life just sucks, I lost the one 
I'm giving up, she found someone 
There's plenty more 
Girls are such a drag 
~
So all you little ladies 
Be sure to choose the right guys 
You'll come back to me maybe 
I'll shower you with lies 
~
Got a lotta heart ache 
He's a fuckin' weasel 
Decisions make my mind ache 
Wanna make a deal 
~
Ease away the problems and the pain 
The girl chose the guy that makes you wanna kick and scream 
All along, you wish that she would stay 
Fuck the guy that took and ran away, yeah 
~
He's a player, diarrhea giver 
Tried to grow his hair out, friends were listening to Slayer 
I'd like to find him Friday night 
Hanging out with mom and trying on his father's tights 
~
Life just sucks, I lost the one 
I'm giving up, she found someone 
There's plenty more 
Girls are such a drag 
~
Fuck this place, I lost the war 
I hate you all, your mom's a whore 
Where's my dog? 
'Cause girls are such a drag 
ADAM'S SONG
I never thought I'd die alone 
I laughed the loudest, who'd have known? 
I traced the cord back to the wall 
No wonder it was never plugged in at all 
~
I took my time, I hurried up 
The choice was mine, I didn't think enough 
I'm too depressed to go on 
You'll be sorry when I'm gone 
~
I never conquered, rarely came 
16 just held such better days 
Days when I still felt alive 
We couldn't wait to get outside 
~
The world was wide, too late to try 
The tour was over, we'd survived 
I couldn't wait 'til I got home 
To pass the time in my room alone 
~
I never thought I'd die alone 
Another six months, I'll be unknown 
Give all my things to all my friends 
You'll never step foot in my room again 
~
You'll close it off, board it up 
Remember the time that I spilled the cup 
Of apple juice in the hall 
Please tell mom this is not her fault 
~
I never conquered, rarely came 
16 just held such better days 
Days when I still felt alive 
We couldn't wait to get outside 
~
The world was wide, too late to try 
The tour was over, we'd survived 
I couldn't wait 'til I got home 
To pass the time in my room alone 
*****
ALL THE SMALL THINGS
All the small things 
True care, truth brings 
I'll take one lift 
Your ride, best trip 
~
Always, I know 
You'll be at my show 
Watching, waiting 
Commiserating 
~
Say it ain't so, I will not go 
Turn the lights off, carry me home 
Na na na na na na na na na na 
Na na na na na na na na na na 
Na na na na na na na na na na 
Na na na na na na na na na na 
~
Late night, come home 
Work sucks, I know 
She left me roses by the stairs 
Surprises let me know she cares 
~
Say it ain't so, I will not go 
Turn the lights off, carry me home 
Na na na na na na na na na na 
Na na na na na na na na na na 
Na na na na na na na na na na 
Na na na na na na na na na na 
~
Say it ain't so, I will not go 
Turn the lights off, carry me home 
Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill 
The night will go on, my little windmill 
~
Say it ain't so, I will not go (na na na na na na na na na na) 
Turn the lights off, carry me home (na na na na na na na na na na) 
Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill (na na na na na na na na na na) 
The night will go on, the night will go on (na na na na na na na na na na) 
My little windmill 
*****
THE PARTY SONG
Do you wanna come to a party 
My friends picked me up in their truck at 11:30 
This thing's at a frat house, but people are cool there 
Reluctant, I followed, but I never dreamed 
~
There would be someone there who would catch my attention 
I wasn't out looking for love or affection 
So I paid my 3 and the girls got in free 
Shined the beer for tequila and we headed into the party 
~
And then, in the backyard, some terrible ska band 
Someone in the background was doing a keg stand 
This place is so lame, all these girls look the same 
All these guys have no game, I wish I would have stayed 
~
In my bed, back at home, watching TV alone 
Where I'd put on some porn or have sex on the phone 
Far from people I hate, down from anywhere state 
Trying to intoxicate girls to give them head after the party 
~
And then, I saw her standing there 
With green eyes and long blond hair 
She wasn't wearing underwear, at least I prayed that 
She might be the one 
Maybe we'd have some fun 
Maybe we'd watch the sun rise 
~
But that night, I learned some girls try too hard 
Na na na, na na na, na na na 
Some girls try too hard 
Na na na, na na na, na na na 
Some girls try too hard to impress with the way that they dress 
With those things on their chests and the things they suggest to me 
~
I couldn't believe what this lady was saying 
The names she was dropping and the games she was playing 
She dated this guy who now rides for Black Flys 
How she's down with the wise well-constructed disguise 
~
Now, I'd rather go dateless than stay here and hate this 
Her volume of makeup, her fake tits were tasteless 
So I said I'd call her, but never would bother 
Until I got turned down by another girl at a party 
~
So when you see her standing there 
With green eyes and long blond hair 
She won't be wearing underwear and you'll discover 
This girl's not the one and she'll never be fun 
You should just turn and run 
Because you'll find out that some girls try too hard 
~
Na na na, na na na, na na na 
Some girls try too hard 
Na na na, na na na, na na na 
And some girls try too hard to impress with the way that they dress 
With those things on their chest and the things they suggest to me 
~
Na na na, na na na, na na na 
Some girls try too hard 
Na na na, na na na, na na na 
Some girls try too hard 
*****
MUTT
He pauses shaving and he tells himself that he is the bomb 
She has her curlers set, her credit cards are paying the funds 
He’s not that old, I’ve been told 
A strong sexual goal 
She goes out ever day 
She goes every way…oh yeah! 
And they don’t even care at all 
~
She’s open waiting for more 
And he’s only looking to score 
And it’s way too unhealthy 
Often they’ve typically 
Been starved for attention before 
~
She smokes a dozen and he doesn’t seem to notice the smell 
He took the seat off his own bike because of the way that it felt 
He wants to bone, this I know 
She is ready to blow 
~
They go out every night 
His pants are super tight…oh yeah! 
And they don’t even care at all 
*****
WENDY CLEAR
Let's take the boat out on the bay 
Forget your job for just one day 
I wish it didn't have to be so bad 
It might be inappropriate because 
Either way our band gets dropped, oh yeah 
I wish it didn't have to be so bad 
~
But I'd play with fire to break the ice 
And I'd play with a nuclear device 
Is it something I'll regret, why do I want what I can't get? 
I wish it didn't have to be so bad 
~
The three-date theory is getting old 
Everyone's getting left out in the cold 
I wish it didn't have to be so bad 
So I'll see you with another guy 
Who pretends not to hear you when you cry, oh yeah 
I wish it didn't have to be so bad 
~
But I'd play with fire to break the ice 
And I'd play with a nuclear device 
Is it something I'll regret, why do I want what I can't get? 
I wish it didn't have to be so bad 
~
I'll be movin' on, Movin' on, Movin' on, on, on 
Movin' on, Movin' on, Movin' on, on, on 
~
But I'd play with fire to break the ice 
And I'd play with a nuclear device 
Is it something I'll regret, why do I want what I can't get? 
I wish it didn't have to be so bad 
~
I wish it didn't have to be so bad 
I wish it didn't have to be so bad 
I wish it didn't have to be so bad 
*****
ANTHEM
Home show, mom won't know 
Run out the back door, he's passed out on the floor 
Third time, been caught twice 
Forgive our neighbor Bob, I think he humped the dog 
~
But good things come to those who wait, 'cause she laid me
And mom and dad possess the key, instant slavery 
No need to explain the plan, no need to even bother 
I'll pack my bags, I swear I'll run, wish my friends were 21 
~
White lies, bloodshot eyes 
Breath of alcohol, stole it from the mall 
How's Chris marked with lipstick 
Better call their fathers, sleeping with your daughters 
~
But good things come to those who wait, 'cause she laid me 
And mom and dad possess the key, instant slavery 
No need to explain the plan, no need to even bother 
I'll pack my bags, I swear I'll run, wish my friends were 21 
~
You don't belong, you left the kids to carry on 
You planned their fall 
Too bad you're wrong, don't need a mom, dad, slave, drive, song 
I time bomb 
~
I time bomb 
I time bomb 
I time bomb 
I time bomb 
~
Turn low the radio 
I think I hear my dad yelling at the band 
~
But good things come to those who wait, 'cause she laid me 
And mom and dad possess the key, instant slavery 
No need to explain the plan, no need to even bother 
I'll pack my bags, I swear I'll run, wish my friends were 21 
~
You don't belong, you left the kids to carry on 
You planned their fall 
Too bad you're wrong, don't need a mom, dad, slave, drive, song 
I time bomb 
~
I time bomb 
I time bomb 
I time bomb 
I time bomb 

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