Returnables Sell Out!
Wednesday • October 24, 2001

The rumors are true, kids.

Your beloved Returnables have decided to piss away years of hard-earned indie anonymity with a simple stroke of the pen.

Last week, the boys inked a deal with multi-national recording syndicate Jettison Music.

Jettison CEO Jeff Pezzati was noticeably excited at the press conference announcing the signing, though he did wonder "what had happened to the chick guitarist."

Terms of the contract were not disclosed, though they are believed to include an expense account at Tommy Bartlett's Robot World, weekend use of the official Jettison Vespa, and 4 autographed copies of Naked Raygun's "Vanilla Blue" single.