NATO DEPLOYS RETURNABLES TO MACEDONIA!
Wednesday • August 22, 2001

BRUSSELS - The North Atlantic Treaty Organization authorized the deployment of Chicago-based music group The Returnables to war-torn Macedonia today, hoping the band's garage-pop song stylings would move Macedonians and ethnic Albanians down the road to reconciliation.

"We are grateful for NATO's action, and we have tremendous expectations for these so-called Returnables," Macedonian president Boris Trajkovksi said at a noon press conference. "Perhaps one day, all of Macedonia will be singing 'Totally Pops' as one nation."

In a prepared statement, ethnic Albanian rebel spokesman Besniku also welcomed the move, "provided that the Returnables keep it real."