1. Your house I went to your house Walked up the stairs Opened your door without ringing the bell Walked down the hall Into your room where I could smell you And I shouldn't be here Without permission Shouldn't be here... Would you forgive me love if I dance in your shower? Would you forgive me love if I laid in your bed? Would you forgive me love if I stay all afternoon? I took off my clothes Put on your robe Went through your drawers And I found your cologne Went down do the den Found your CD And I played your Joni And I shouldn't stay long You might be home soon Shouldn't stay long... Would you forgive me love if I danced in your shower Would you forgive me love if I laid in your bed? Would you forgive me love if I stay all afternoon? I burned your incense I ran a bath I noticed a letter that sat on your desk It said: "Hello love. I love you so, love. Meet me at midnight." And no, it wasn't my writing I'd better go soon It wasn't my writing So forgive me love if I cry in your shower So forgive me love for the salt in your bed So forgive me love if I cry all afternoon « back | ToP 2. Thank you how 'bout getting off of these antibiotics how 'bout stopping eating when I'm full up how 'bout them transparent dangling carrots how 'bout that ever elusive kudo thank you India thank you terror thank you disillusionment thank you frailty thank you consequence thank you thank you silence how 'bout me not blaming you for everything how 'bout me enjoying the moment for once how 'bout how good it feels to finally forgive you how 'bout grieving it all one at a time thank you India thank you terror thank you disillusionment thank you frailty thank you consequence thank you thank you silence the moment I let go of it was the moment I got more than I could handle the moment I jumped off of it was the moment I touched down how 'bout no longer being masochistic how 'bout remembering your divinity how 'bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out how 'bout not equating death with stopping thank you India thank you Providence thank you disillusionment thank you nothingness thank you clarity thank you thank you silence « back | ToP 3. Uninvited Like anyone would be I am flattered by your fascination with me Like any hot-blooded woman I have simply wanted an object to crave But you, you're not allowed You're uninvited An unfortunate slight Must be strangely exciting To watch the stoic squirm Must be somewhat heart-turning To watch shepherd lead shepherd But you you're not allowed You're uninvited An unfortunate slight Like any uncharted territory I must seem greatly intriguing You speak of my love like You have experienced love like mine before But this is not allowed You're uninvited An unfortunate slight I don't think you unworthy I need a moment to deliberate. « back | ToP 4. Superman I'm lookin' for someone who can made me feel A serious love like Juliet's is real A little impulsive and a boy at heart A little bit shy but he'll be oh so smart Superman I need a superman You got a complicated girl like me He's gotta be fair and treat me properly yeah I want him to understand equality You gotta Keep searchin' everywhere in the world You gotta keep lookin' or you'll miss the feelin' You gotta be tough to make it today who You do it your way and not how they say You'll find him somewhere You gotta be tough to make it today who And never be scared of finding your way to Superman Should I call him on the telephone Should I go seem him or just stay at home will be different from the other boys if I could find him I'd be overjoyed Superman where are you Superman Whenever it seems like everything's on the line You gotta keep lookin' or you'll miss the feelin' With all the other boys I never knew what it took to make a choice When he's mine I'm gonna stop all my changin' around now Between the two of us there'll be enough goin' on that's serious I can't wait 'til I can stop all my lookin' around now I found my Superman I found my Superman Whenever it seems like everything's on the line you gotta keep lookin' or you'll miss the feelin' « back | ToP 5. Jealous Make sure she's alright She just can't wait to party She'll make it look so easy Why won't you listen to me Yeah Jealousy-some girls have it rough oh baby Loyalty-why is that so tough, the trust is gone Jealous don't you know your girl is jealous She can't help but be suspicious Can't you see, that girl is jealous So better make it right Cruelty-it's easy for him to be Fallacy-you're out on a limb for him Conspiracy Anxiety she just can't wait to party Strategy totally she'll make it look so easy Loyalty disagree why won't you listen to me Fantasy Novelty she will be free Jealous-it's no fallacy Jealous-she doesn't trust you much Suspicious-so baby can't you see that girl don't trust you much make sure she's alright « back | ToP 6. Gorgeous Testostarone in large amounts Your Little sister just kick out of God you can't shave your head Come to the Show the boys rock harder Your mother lent you her slip She lent you her bright red lipstick And your shoes are hurting your back But boy don't you look gorgeous You look gorgeous You look gorgeous You look gorgeous How you look gorgeous This is but an observation You put a bullet in your foot You make it hard for us bitches inconsequential in your back bends And your taste in men leaves something to de desired You love them to be aloof and self obsessed They love you in your mini dress You are looking gorgeous You're looking gorgeous You're looking gorgeous How you look gorgeous When your voice is raised above a certain level I'm afraid you must go to the ladies room I left your competence in curlers You look gorgeous You look gorgeous You're looking gorgeous How you look gorgeous « back | ToP 7. Mary Jane What's the matter Mary Jane, you had a hard day As you place the don't disturb sign on the door You lost your place in line again, what a pity You never seem to want to dance anymore It's a long way down On this roller coaster The last chance streetcar Went off the track And you're on it I hear you're counting sheep again Mary Jane What's the point of tryin' to dream anymore I hear you're losing weight again Mary Jane Do you ever wonder who you're losing it for Well it's full speed baby In the wrong direction There's a few more bruises If that's the way You insist on heading Please be honest Mary Jane Are you happy Please don't censor your tears You're the sweet crusader And you're on your way You're the last great innocent And that's why I love you So take this moment Mary Jane and be selfish Worry not about the cars that go by All that matters Mary Jane is your freedom Keep warm my dear, keep dry Tell me, tell me What's the matter Mary Jane Tell me, tell me Please be honest Mary Jane Tell me « back | ToP 8. No pressure over cappuccino And you're like a 90's Jesus And you revel in your psychosis How dare you? You sample concepts like hors d'oeurves And you eat their questions for dessert And is it just me or is it hot in here? And you're like a 90's Kennedy And you're only a million years old They can't fool you They'll throw opinions like rocks in riots And they'll stumble around like hypocrites And is it just me or is it dark in here? You may never be or have a husband You may never have or hold a child You will learn to loose everything We are temporary arrangements And you're like a 90's Noah And they laughed at you when you packed all of your things And they wonder why you're frustrated And they wonder why you're so angry Is it just me or are you fed up And god bless you in you're travels in your conquests and queries... « back | ToP 9. Fear of Bliss my misery has enjoyed company and although I have ached I don't threaten anybody sometimes I feel more bigness than I've shared with you sometimes I wonder why I quell when I'm not required to I've tried to be small I've tried to be stunted I've tried roadblocks and all my happy endings prevented sometimes I feel it's all just too big to be true I sabotage myself for fear of what my bigness could do fear of bliss and fear of joyitude fear of bigness (and ensuing solitude?) I could be golden I could be glowing I could be freedom but that could be boring sometimes I feel this is too scary to be true I sabotage myself for fear of losing you this talk of liberation makes me want to go lie down under the covers til the terror of the unknown is gone I could be full I could be thriving I could be shining sounds isolating sometimes I feel this is too good to be true I sabotage myself for fear of what my joy could do « back | ToP 10. 21 Things I Want in a Lover do you derive joy when someone else succeeds? do you not play dirty when engaged in competition? do you have a big intellectual capacity but know that it alone does not equate wisdom? do you see everything as an illusion? but enjoy it even though you are not of it? are you both masculine and feminine? politically aware? and don't believe in capital punishment? these are 21 things that I want in a lover not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that loving someone can actually feel like freedom? are you funny? à la self-deprecating? like adventure? and have many formed opinions? these are 21 things that I want in a lover not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter these are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover I'm in no hurry I could wait forever I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo there are no worries and certainly no pressure in the meantime I'll live like there's no tomorrow are you uninhibited in bed? more than three times a week? up for being experimental? are you athletic? are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? are you not addicted? ...curious and communicative... « back | ToP 11. Narcissus Dear momma's boy I know you've had your butt licked by your mother I know you've enjoyed all that attention from her And every woman graced with your presence after Dear narcissus boy I know you've never really apologized for anything I know you've never really taken responsibility I know you've never really listened to a woman Dear me-show boy I know you're not really into conflict resolution Or seeing both sides of every equation Or having an uninterrupted conversation And any talk of healthiness And any talk of connectedness And any talk of resolving this Leaves you running for the door (why why do I try to love you Try to love you when you really don't want me To) Dear egotist boy you've never really had to suffer any consequence You've never stayed with anyone longer than ten minutes You'd never understand anyone showing resistance Dear popular boy I know you're used to getting everything so easily A stranger to the concept of reciprocity People honor boys like you in this society And any talk of selflessness And any talk of working at this And any talk of being of service Leaves you running for the door (why why do I try to help you try to help you When you really don't want me to) You go back to the women who will dance the dance You go back to your friends who will lick your ass You go back to ignoring all the rest of us You go back to the center of your universe Dear self centered boy I don't know why I still feel affected by you I've never lasted very long with someone like you I never did although I have to admit I wanted to Dear magnetic boy you've never been with anyone who doesn't take your shit You've never been with anyone who's dared to call you on it I wonder how you'd be if someone were to call you on it And any talk of willingness And any talk of both feet in And any talk of commitment Leaves you running for the door (why why do I try to change you try to Try to change you when you really don't want me to) You go back to the women who will dance the dance You go back to your friends who will lick your ass You go back to being so oblivious You go back to the center of the universe « back | ToP 12. A Man am a man as a man I've been told Bacon is brought to the house in this mold Born of your bellies I yearn for the cord Years I have groveled repentance ignored And I have been blamed And I have repented I'm working my way toward our union mended I am man who has grown from a son Been crucified by enraged women I am son who was raised by such men I'm often reminded of the fools I'm among And I have been shamed And I have relented I'm working my way toward our union mended And I have been shamed And I have repented I'm working my way toward our union mended we don't fare well with endless reprimands we don't do well with a life served as a sentence this won't work well if you're hell bent on your offence I am a man who understands your resistance I am a man who still does what he can to dispel our archaic reputation I am a man who has heard all he can cuz I don't fare well with endless punishment Cuz I have been blamed and I have repented I'm working my way toward our union mended And we have been blamed and we have repented I'm working my way toward our union mended « back | ToP 13. That Particular Time my foundation was rocked my tried and true way to deal was to vanish my departures were old I stood in the room shaking in my boots at that particular time love had challenged me to stay at that particular moment I knew not run away again that particular month I was ready to investigate with you at that particular time we thought a break would be good for four months we sat and vacillated we thought a small time apart would clear up the doubts that were abounding at that particular time love encouraged me to wait at that particular moment it helped me to be patient that particular month we needed time to marinate in what "us" meant I've always wanted for you what you've wanted for yourself and yet I wanted to save us high water or hell and I kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt and in the meantime I lost myself in the meantime I lost myself I'm sorry I lost myself….i am you knew you needed more time time spent alone with no distraction you felt you needed to fly solo and high to define what you wanted at that particular love encouraged me to leave at that particular moment I knew staying with you meant deserting me that particular month was harder than you'd believe but I still left at that particular time « back | ToP 14. So Unsexy Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly One small sideways look and I feel so ungood Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make Me feel the way I thought only my father could Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily I'm 13 again am I 13 for good? I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful So unloved for someone so fine I can feel so boring for someone so interesting So ignorant for someone of sound mind Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated When will you stop leaving baby? When will I stop deserting baby? When will I start staying with myself? Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me I jump my ship as I take it personally Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly The moment I decide not to abandon me « back | ToP |