May 17, 2000

UAB Parking & Transportation Services
608 8th Street South
Birmingham, AL 35294-4550

	I am a concerned UAB student.  Recently, two rather large sections of parking 
lot have been shut down between 10th Avenue and 11th Avenue and 15th Street and 
14th Street.  I wouldn't be surprising anyone if I said this was a lot of parking 
to lose.  On Tuesday, May 16th, I had to parallel park on the street.  After a full
 day of laboratory work, I returned to my car and was shocked to see that I had 
inadvertently parked with my back right wheel on top of the curb.  Just imagine 
if at that moment there would have been four young girls standing next to my car.  
Think of how embarrassing that would have been!  Or worse yet, seven girls.
	Not to mention the increased distance I have to walk in order to get to class. 
I have made some preliminary calculations and have determined that I now have a 
30% greater chance of tripping and falling on my way to work.  If you multiply this 
30% increase by the hundreds of students it affects the potential increase in campus 
injury is phenomenal.  Think of all the students, lying on the ground, writhing in pain. 
And what if I fall down in front of four beautiful young women?
	And then there is the issue of my parking permit.  I might as well rip it up and 
throw it in the street.  And while I have enjoyed ripping up and throwing things in 
the street in the past (i.e. parking tickets, movie stubs, empty bags of potato chips), 
what good would it do?  
	Sure, I could wake up at 7:30am and beat the rush.  However, I am very sensitive 
to a lack of sleep and would therefore have to go to bed before midnight.  Did you know 
that reruns of Caroline in the City are on every weekday at midnight?  I could go to bed 
and just tape these episodes, but I ask you this:  What kind of 24-year-old idiot tapes 
Caroline in the City reruns?
								Sincerely,

								Jason Linville

P.S.  I am not an idiot.