Band
Humor Band
Humor 24. You actually like marching band
and would kill to do it all year
long.
23. The drummers start making sense to you. (not possible--EVER!!)
22. You have to stay in step with people around you while walking.
21. You direct the songs on the radio.
20. Playing "stare down" with the drum major is no fun anymore.
19. You wonder what life would be like if you weren't in band.
18. You roll step while you walk to class.
17. You practice your marching music on a daily basis.
16. You think Louie Louie is the best song ever written.
15. You major in music and usse your
high school band director as a
role model.
14. Those stupid "band humor" jokes
are the funniest things you ever
heard.
13. You pick out instruments from the music in cartoons.
12. You start screaming "LEFT! LEFT!
LEFT!" to people that walk in
front of you on the way to class.
11. Drummers start making sense to you.
10. You've dated everyone in the band
and now wonder if you've ever
gonna have another date.
9. you think that trumpeters have a right to be egotistical.
8. You don't think flutiest have a slight attitude problem.
7. You change from your instrument to the tuba.
6. You have perfect pitch.
5. The band director is always right.
4. You marry that special someone in your section.
3. You have kids and force them to be in music.
2. Drummers make lots of sense to you.
1. You an relate to more that a fourth
of these things!
Flute Jokes (And yes I play flute, and these are NOT true...)
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How do concert band flute players does it take to change a lightbulb?
They ask their boyfriend to do it for
them.
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What's the definition of a minor second?
Two flutists playing in unison.
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How many flute players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only 1, but she'll break 10 bulbs before
she realizes they can't be
pushed in.
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What key is the alto flute pitched in?
G-- I really don't care, either!!
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How many flute players does it take
to change a light bulb?
Just one, but she'll have to twist
it back and forth for an hour to
make sure she gets it just right.
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What's the difference between a flutist and a seamstress?
I seamstress tucks the frills.
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Piccolo Jokes
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How do you get two piccolo players to play in unison?
Shoot one.
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What is the range of a piccolo?
Oh, about twenty yards on a good day.
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What is the definition of perfect
pitch in a piccolo?
When you throw it in the toilet and
it doesn't hit the rim.
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How do you tune two piccolos?
You shoot them both.
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How many flute players does it take
to change a light bulb?
--Five: One to change the bulb, one
to pull the ladder out from under
her, and three to bitch about how
much better they would have done it.
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How many flutes does it take to screw
in a lightbulb?
Just one - she simply holds it up and
the world revolves around her.
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What do you call a good flute section?
Impossible
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Q. How can you tell if a plane is
full of flute players?
A. When the engines stop, the whining
continues
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