allmyheart8

all my heart
by unique
chapter 8

"It was when Tyler was about... four years old..." Cassie said softly, staring up at the
    ceiling. She didn't know if she could handle watching Kevin's reaction just yet. He still
    held her hand though. "Remember how I wanted to be an actress? Well... I tried it for a
    while... over in LA, but I wasn't getting much work. First of all, I had Tyler to worry
    about, but there also wasn't much work to go around. I... I needed money... we were about
    to be kicked out of our apartment because I couldn't cut rent. I was so scared, and I
    didn't know what to do. I needed money... and fast."
    Kevin's hold on her hand tightened as he listened to her, feeling the pain that she had
    suffered through for so many years. For what seemed like the millionth time, he wished he
    had the power to turn back time... but he couldn't. He knew that... so he just listened.
    "I got my neighbor, Mrs. Jenkins, to baby-sit Tyler one night." Cassie swallowed hard. "My
    friend, Marisa, said she could get me a lot of money in just a few hours... so I went with
    her." Tears filled Cassie's eyes again as she continued. "Marisa was an exotic dancer... she
    said her boss would let me try it one night... and I could even keep the money... so... so I
    did it. I hated the feeling it gave me... everyone leering at me and wanting me to take it
    all off... but... I pasted a smile on my face and tried to remember Tyler. I had to take
    care of him. I would do anything for him."
    Kevin closed his eyes. His Cassie... on display for some pathetic jerks to gaze at and
    throw money on. He clenched his free hand, feeling the anger rise in him. He wasn't angry
    with Cassie though... he was just mad that she had had to suffer at all. Opening his eyes
    again, he gently urged her to continue.
    "After the place closed up... I counted the money..." Cassie's tears slid down her cheeks as
    she spoke softly, "I had made close to six hundred dollars. That was enough to pay of the
    rent for the next two months. I was so happy... and I thought it was the luckiest night of
    my life..."
    "What happened?" Kevin asked carefully. He wasn't exactly sure he wanted to know.
    Cassie was silent for a moment, then she continued, her voice dropping into a whisper.
    "Marisa's boss came up to me and asked for his cut. I didn't understand... b-because I
    thought I would be able to keep the money. When I told him that... he just laughed. He
    said that he didn't need the money... he... he just wanted a piece of the... action..."
    Kevin sat up straighter, ready to kill the bastard... he was already getting a picture of
    what had happened. Cassie didn't sense Kevin's anger right away, so she just kept going,
    feeling the story come tumbling out of her after so many years...
    "He grabbed me... and it hurt... I was so scared that I didn't even fight him. M-Marisa
    tried... but he hit her... hard. All I remember was seeing her fly into the bar and slump
    onto the floor. Then... he dragged me into the back office and... And he raped me..."
    Cassie started to cry and she found that she couldn't go on.
    Kevin leaned closer and pressed her hand to his lips. She looked at him then, as if to say
    that she was sorry... but Kevin knew that it wasn't her fault. He reached over and caressed
    her soft hair, wanting to take away her pain, but knew that her pain ran a lot deeper than
    the cuts and bruises she had now.
    "He hurt me, Kevin... and I was so scared... when he was finished, he threatened me. I
    wasn't supposed to tell anyone... ever... he said he knew about Tyler. That's what scared
    me the most... so I promised not to tell him anything." Cassie said softly. "I couldn't let
    him hurt our baby, Kevin..."
    Kevin nodded slowly, finally understanding Cassandra. She didn't care what happened to
    her... as long as Tyler was okay and taken care of. That was why, after all of these years,
    she had come back to him. She couldn't be the one to take care of Tyler anymore. It was up
    to Kevin now.
    "I'm sorry, Kevin... I'm so sorry..." Cassie said through her tears.
    "Shhh... No, Cassie... stop right there." Kevin told her gently. "It wasn't your fault,
    baby... It wasn't. You were only doing what you had to... and that asshole is going to pay
    for this... I swear."
    Cassie shook her head.
    Misunderstanding, Kevin looked into her eyes. "He won't get away with this, Cassie... I -- "

    "No... Kevin… You don't understand." She interrupted him quietly. "He's dead..."
    Kevin blinked. "Dead?"
    Cassie nodded slowly. "I saw Marisa just a few months ago... and she told me he died. Of
    AIDS... I thought I was hearing wrong, but she was serious. She told me she had it too...
    because of him, and I got so scared. I panicked... and I went to get tested. I thought
    maybe... maybe this wasn't happening to me... but... it came out positive. I have HIV..."
    Kevin felt the tears start again, but he stared into Cassie's beautiful eyes. Why was the
    world so unfair? Kevin just couldn't understand why things had to be so hard. First he had
    lost his father... now he was losing the only girl he had ever loved... the mother of his
    child. He wiped at the tears that slid down his cheek and didn't know what to say.
    "And just two months ago... it developed into AIDS..." Cassie finished softly. "That's when
    I came back to you, Kevin... I needed to know that Tyler would be taken care of by somebody
    who loves him..."
    "You didn't want him ending up in foster homes..." Kevin said softly, "Like you did."
    Cassie nodded. She sighed gently. "I knew you would understand, Kevin... you always did
    understand me."
    "I loved you..." Kevin said softly, bringing her hand to his cheek. "Cassandra... I still
    do. I love you... please... please don't leave me..."
    Cassandra's tears flowed freely down her face as she caressed his cheek. "I don't have a
    choice, Kevin... I'm sorry..."
    Kevin closed his eyes and just leaned his face into her hand. He covered her cold hand with
    his own and knew that this just had to be the saddest day in his life. All of his hopes and
    dreams seemed to fade into darkness as the reality came into sharp focus. He would have
    Tyler and he would love him forever... but he would lose Cassandra. He opened his eyes
    again and stared into hers. He saw the love that had always been there for him... she was
    offering him more than he ever had. She was giving him all of her heart... and Kevin had
    lost his to her the very first time he had looked into her eyes -- both seven years ago, and
    when she had come back.
    He stood up and leaned over to kiss her gently. He didn't want to disturb any of the
    machinery, but he just wanted to touch her somehow, so he kissed her, moving her hand to
    cover his heart. She kissed him back with all the energy she had left, then Kevin pulled
    back. He smiled sadly at her through his tears and touched her face lightly.
    "I want to marry you, Cassie..." Kevin said softly.
    "But..." Cassie shook her head slowly.
    Kevin stopped her by placing a gentle finger underneath her chin and making her look him in
    the eyes. He stared deep into her eyes as he spoke, "Cassandra James... I have loved you
    ever since the day we met in that tiny cafe... and I will always love you, no matter what.
    I don't care if you're sick... I don't care if you're dying. Cassie, all I care about is
    having you as my wife for as long as God will let me. After that, I'll still have you with
    me... in my heart."
    Cassie started crying again, but Kevin wiped her tears away with a gentle touch. He looked
    at her solemnly and tried to smile. It was a little hard knowing how sad the situation was,
    but he knew what he wanted, and he would not take no for an answer. He had meant it when he
    said he wasn't letting her go. He wouldn't... not now, not ever.
    "Cassie... will you marry me?" Kevin said softly.
    Cassandra held his hand then smiled her sweet smile. This was what she had wanted to hear
    for so long... then she thought she couldn't have what she wanted. But now, as she stared
    up into Kevin's promising eyes, she knew that she just couldn't pass up this opportunity.
    She nodded slowly.
    Kevin grinned. "You will?"
    "Yes..." Cassie chuckled lightly, suddenly feeling like she could conquer the world! "I
    will... I love you, Kevin... I always will, no matter where I am."
    Kevin laughed joyously and kissed her again. Then he stood up straight and turned to leave
    the room. She asked where he was going, but he just told her to stay put. This was a
    celebration... and Kevin would make the best of this. He vowed to... for the as long as he
    had Cassie, he would make her the happiest woman in the world. And with her by his side, he
    knew he was the happiest man...