Funny Experiences

"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was,

'You'll never find anyone like me again!'

I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?'

"A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together.

Solution? I sent them to her dad."

"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?"

"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."

"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe

clippers right here.'"

Here is what had happened: