*Disclaimer - I do not own any of the members of ‘N Sync (nor would I ever really want to), they belong to their respective owners (the people who signed their insurance policy most likely). I do, however, own all fictional characters and plots. Plagiarism is against the law. Don’t do it. Thank you.

“Are you sure this is something you want to do, Chichi?” Chris inquired softly as he watched Michaela pack her clothes into a suitcase. He couldn’t believe she was leaving without talking everything through with him before she made her decision to leave. He took a seat on the bed, folding her arms across his chest. Mike turned to him with a glimmer of a smile.

“This is something I have to do, Moo. I can’t keep relying on you and the others to take care of me. Sometime, I have to start doing that myself.” she explained softly, taking a seat next to him on the bed.

“I just don’t think this is a good idea. Especially with David still out there. There’s no telling what he could possibly do to you if he knows you’re alone.” Chris shook his head, his voice taking on a pleading note.

“I can’t live my life in constant fear. It’s time for me to take my life back. You can understand that, can’t you?” Mike murmured, turning slightly so she could face her older friend. Chris sighed, head hanging forward slightly as he silently debated on whether or not he should let her go without an argument.

“I can understand, Chichi. I’m just worried about you doing this on your own. I don’t want to see you get hurt.” Chris pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

“Chris, please don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. This is the appropriate next step for me.” she mumbled, shaking her head slowly as she climbed to her feet again to begin packing once again.

“I know all this, Mike. I did go to college, and I did study psychology. I know all the appropriate steps a person needs to take to shrug out of the depression of their lives.” Chris snapped angrily, surging to his feet to turn angry eyes to his younger friend.

“Moo,” Mike sighed, taking both his hands in her own, giving them a gentle squeeze. “I’ll be fine.”

“I just don’t like the idea of you being alone through this.” he mumbled, shoulders sagging slightly.

“I know you love doing this big-brother-over-protective thing when it comes to me, and I appreciate it. I’ve depended on it more than you’ll ever realize, but it’s time to let it go. Besides, its not like you’ll never see or hear from me again. You’ll always be the first person I call when I need to hear a friendly voice.” she reassured him.

“All right. Fine. Big brother is letting go.” Chris held up his hands, resigning his side of the argument. “But, just do one thing for me so I can have at least some peace of mind.”

“Depends on what that one thing is.” Mike teased gently.

“Stay in my apartment.”

“What?” Mike turned shocked eyes to him.

“Stay in my apartment, just at least until I get back.” he suggested again. “I know it sounds strange, but, this way you’ll have a place to stay and I’ll have peace of mind that you do. Add onto that my peace of mind that someone will be able to take care of the place while I’m gone.”

“That’s a viable argument. Let me think about it, all right?” Mike smiled, zipping the suitcase shut. She glanced around the room, making sure she hadn’t forgotten any clothing before she made the rounds and started packing her books and various other things that would go into her book bag.

“All right. Think about it. But, I’ll be back to see what your answer is.” Chris mumbled, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I have to go take care of a few things, I’ll be back.”

Mike sighed, shoulders slumping seconds after Chris left the room, closing the door behind him. She wasn’t sure this was the best move for her and if she became brutally honest with herself, she’d admit she was absolutely terrified of leaving the sanctuary of the tour. David was a big factor in the fear department. She’d be alone. If David decided to make his presence known in Orlando, there would be virtually nothing she could do to protect herself against him. Most of all, she was worried she’d lose the friends she had made in the guys. Distance could change a lot of things, especially with romantic intentions, which could be potentially good and bad. She shook her head, mind wandering to a pair of gray-blue eyes. An involuntary smile curved her lips upward as she packed away her laptop computer. She couldn’t deny she had feelings for JC, not that she wanted to; but it would be better for him if she left. She’d be less of a distraction. And after the kiss they had shared outside the dance club, she knew she couldn’t stay and not let him romance her the way he said he’d wanted to. Nothing in life was that easy, no matter what JC said to ease her troubled mind. She zipped up her book bag and set it over by the door, then flopped down on her bed. She would have to leave for the airport in two and a half hours if she was going to make it to her flight on time. She glanced up when the door opened, Chris sauntering into the room looking pensive and thoughtful.

“Have you made your decision?” he lifted an eyebrow at her, hands thrust into the pockets of his jeans.

“Yeah, I thought about it. I’ll take you up on your offer, provided I pay you for letting me stay in your place.” Mike nodded, climbing to her feet.

“You being there is enough for me. I won’t have to worry about things. Bills are automatically deducted from my savings account, so you don’t have to worry about anything like that. And, well, phone bills could be a problem, especially since we’ll be calling each other often enough to make them sky high. So, if you want to put a little bit of money into the apartment, you can donate some to the phone bill every month. Other than that, food is your only responsibility.” Chris shook his head, pulling a set of keys from his pocket.

“All right. Sounds like a good plan to me.” she nodded, taking the keys he held out to her. She jangled the keys for a moment then stuffed them into the smallest pocket in her book bag.

“Looks like you’re all ready to go.” he commented warily, stepping further into the room. Mike nodded with a content sigh, hands propped on her hips as she glanced around the room devoid of any of her personal items.

“Yeah. All that’s left is getting to the airport on time.” she nodded, gazing at Chris with all the adoration she reserved for her older brother long since dead. “Chris, I just wanted to… thank you for everything you’ve done.”

“I haven’t done anything, Chichi.” Chris shook his head, his cheeks flushing slightly.

“Yes, you have. You’ve taken care of me these past few months. Made sure I had everything I needed. You’ve been the older brother I’ve needed; and the best friend I could ever have. Thank you.” she continued, her eyes beginning to feel slightly gritty with unshed emotional tears.

“What can I say? You’re the younger sister I always wanted.” he shrugged, giving her a crooked smile.

“You already have younger sisters.” Mike teased, laughing softly as she poked him in the side.

“You know what I mean.” Chris stuck his tongue out at her with a indignant huff, arms folded across his chest. “Have you said goodbye to everyone yet?”

Mike shook her head, a look of unease washing across her features as she climbed to her feet to pace the room. Chris sighed, resting his elbows on his knees, watching her with slight amusement.

“You should. They’ll end up giving you hell if you don’t.” Chris pointed out reasonably.

“I don’t know if I can.” she finally admitted with a sigh.

“Are we talking about the whole group, or just a specific member of the group?” Chris lifted a knowing eyebrow, a slow smirk lifting his lips.

“Why do you keep going back to that? My life is complicated enough without throwing that whole thing into it.” Mike demanded, whirling around to face her friend.

“Throwing what into it?” his voice filled with innocence, causing her to sigh with exasperation, throwing her hands into the air. “You know, you can admit you have feelings for him and still leave.”

“That’s just the point. If he knows I have feelings for him, he won’t let me leave. At least, I don’t think he’d let me leave.” she held a hand to her forehead, eyes closing for a moment.

“Isn’t that a little presumptuous? Not to mention a little arrogant.” Chris nearly laughed, but managed to keep a lid on his amusement long enough for Mike to nod in agreement. “Besides, it would never work out between the two of you.”

“Why not?” the question burst from her lips before she could stop it. She turned her back to her friend, embarrassment tinting her cheeks a bright pink color.

“Honestly? You both are too stubborn for your own good. You both have horrible tempers. You both have trust issues when it comes to the opposite sex. You both spend way too much time working and worrying about work. You want me to keep going?” he ticked each one off on his fingers. She shook her head, worrying her lip with her teeth.

“He deserves someone more worthy than me.” Mike shrugged her shoulders, reaching for her lightweight jacket. Chris shook his head, groaning softly.

“Yeah, and the fact that the two of you are perfect for one another just escapes your mind.” he muttered under his breath as he reached for her suitcase.

“What’s that, Moo?” Mike lifted an expectant eyebrow at him.

“Nothing, Chichi.” Chris sighed heavily, following her out into the hallway, closing the door behind them.

“Mike, you’re leaving?” Justin’s incredulous voice startled the two friends.

“Yeah. It’s time for the baby bird to head out of the nest, see if she can fly on her own.” Mike nodded, giving the younger man a bright smile.

“Were you planning on leaving without saying goodbye?” a familiar voice inquired from behind her. Her heart lurched in her chest and she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

“No. Actually, that’s where I was heading.” Mike shook her head, glancing over her shoulder at JC, who stood only a few feet away, his shoulder resting against the wall, arms folded across his chest.

“Yeah.” JC sighed, nodding slowly before he turned and headed to the hotel room he was sharing with Justin. Mike sighed, fingertips rubbing her forehead gently, trying to ease the ache that had started at her temples then spread across her forehead. Justin shook his head, sliding a sidelong, amused glance at Chris, who shrugged with a soft snicker.

“Well, you better go talk to him. Say your good-byes.” Justin suggested, unable to keep the amusement from his voice.

“I’m glad you all find this funny. He’s being intolerable.” Mike snapped, dropping her book bag onto the floor before turning on her heel and storming over to the door JC had disappeared through.

“How long you think it’ll take before they get together?” Justin glanced over at Chris.

“Two months without each other. Tops.” Chris grinned.

JC sighed, flopping down on the bed he’d claimed and glanced over at Lance, who sat in front of his laptop computer, lips twitching with barely suppressed mirth. JC groaned, covering his eyes with an arm.

“Shut up. Don’t even say it.” JC countered before Lance could open his mouth and say anything.

“Did I say anything?” Lance demanded laughingly.

“You didn’t have to.” JC grumbled, shifting so his back was resting against the headboard. “Mike’s leaving if you want to say goodbye.”

“So that’s what’s got your panties in a bunch.” Lance smiled knowingly as a knock sounded at the door.

“My panties are not in a bunch.” JC shook his head, giving his friend a half hearted glare.

“Yeah they are.” Lance stated matter-of-factly, climbing to his feet. JC stumbled to his own feet and closed himself up in the bathroom while Lance pulled open the door. JC rested his forehead against the closed bathroom door, calling himself a thousand kinds of fool for not talking to her. Part of him wanted to tell her to stay, that he didn’t want her to leave, not when he was just starting to connect with her on a level other than friendship. The other part of him wanted her to leave as fast as she could so she wouldn’t distract him from the career he had wanted for so long. He took a deep breath and pulled open the door. Mike glanced up when he stepped into the room, then to Lance’s retreating back as the other left the room.

“So, you thought I’d leave without saying goodbye, eh?” Mike lifted an eyebrow. JC shrugged his shoulders, busying himself with sorting through some fan mail the tour manager had dropped off on his last visit with the group. She sighed, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans as she walked over to him.

“It’s time for me to try and take care of myself now.” she pointed out softly.

“Yeah. I know. It’s no big deal.” JC shrugged again, opening a letter addressed to him. He pulled out the piece of paper, eyes scanning down the page, though he wasn’t paying attention or really reading what was written. He just wanted and needed the distraction for a moment.

“All right. Well. Goodbye, then.” Mike winced inwardly at the careless tone in his voice, backing a step away from him.

“Have a good flight.” he called over his shoulder to her, his mind revolting at the thought of letting her leave without telling her anything. Without trying to stop her in some way.

“I will. Take care of yourself, Josh.” she nodded, her voice becoming slightly strained.

“Twenty people see to it I do. See you around, Michaela.” JC forced a laugh, keeping his eyes glued to the letter before him. Mike nodded, confirming in her mind that Josh was right to do everything this way. If you thought the other person hated you, it was easier to let go. It was easier to stand by and act as if your heart wasn’t breaking with each step you took that distanced you from the one thing that mattered most in your life. She had reached the door when she glanced over her shoulder to take one last look at him. The one man who could move mountains for her. The one man who could make the birds sing. The one man who could be her everything. His shoulders were hunched and the hand holding the letter had dropped to his side.

“Mike?” his voice startled her.

“Yeah?”

“Will you, uh, call me every once in a while? So I know how you’re doing.” he continued, reluctantly turning to face her.

“If you want me to, I will.” she nodded.

“You know you don’t have to leave.” he continued, taking a step closer to her.

“I know I don’t have to leave. Like I told Chris, it’s time for me to find out if I can take care of myself as well as you and the others have.” Mike murmured, leaning back against the closed door. JC nodded silently, tracing her cheek with a fingertip.

“You need anything, you call me. All right?” he lifted an eyebrow.

“Promise.” she whispered, closing her eyes for a moment, her skin tingling where he’d touched her. Without thinking, she wrapped her arms around him, giving him a gentle hug before she turned and left the room as quickly as she could, reminding herself of all the good reasons she was doing this for. If she and JC were meant to be, they would be able to overcome any obstacle standing in their way, whether it be the distance between them, or the constant fear she felt when it came to starting a new relationship with someone, no matter how well she knew him. Justin glanced up, slightly surprised to see her leave the room so quickly.

“Ready to go?” Chris inquired softly, breaking through her thoughts.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Mike whispered, nodding with a forced smile. Chris nodded, sighing softly as he followed her down the hall to the elevator.

“I could have sworn Jace would get her to stay.” Justin mumbled, glancing over at Lance, who stood watching his friends step into the elevator and disappear.

“Me, too.” Lance agreed.

Mike yawned, rubbing a hand over her face as she wandered from the bedroom in her terry cloth robe, making her way to the kitchen to make her morning cup of hot tea. It had been one of the longest nights she had suffered through recently, though she was more than happy at being back in college. She never realized how much she missed the classes, the normal bustle of college life and the constant learning; that was until she had returned to that life. Orlando wasn’t much different than Boston, so the adjustment period was rather short. She glanced over at the clock on the microwave oven and sighed. She never did like getting up in the morning, and with an eight o’clock class three mornings a week, mornings seemed to be the only time she could grab for herself.

In the past six months, she had returned to college and started classes full time and had gotten herself a part time job in the evenings and weekends. That added to the time she spent studying, there just wasn’t much else left over, not that she minded much. She also received weekly phone calls from the guys, who regaled her with happenings on the road, though they never really compared with her almost nightly conversations with JC. They had formed a bond between one another with all their conversations about life and the experiences they’ve had. They were able to talk about anything, even dates they’d been on and the girl he was dating on and off for the past month and a half. She covered a yawn with her hand as she put the teakettle on the stove. She twisted the knob for the burner then wandered over to the cupboard and pulled down the box of Cocoa Puffs and a bowl. She groaned softly when the phone rang shrilly, startling her enough to make her drop the box of cereal. She stumbled into the living room and grabbed the portable phone, holding it to her ear.

“Hello?”

“So, I woke up this morning and remembered you had a date. I thought I’d call and see how it went.”

“Eh, I don’t want to talk about it.” she mumbled, returning to the kitchen to pour herself a bowl of cereal.

“Sure you do. Come on, tell me.”

“Josh, there’s really nothing to tell.” Mike made a face, shoving a spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

“Was it really that bad?”

“Let’s just say that he’s the typical jock frat boy with more hands than a octopus. And all he could do was talk about himself. It was horrible.” Mike rolled her eyes, pouring the tea into a mug and stirring four spoonfuls of sugar with the hot liquid.

“Was it really that bad?”

“Yeah. We went to the movies, then dinner and the whole time he was talking about he fabulous looks while playing ball.”

“What kind of ball?”

“Football. He plays for the college team. His friends showed up as well, all telling me how wonderful he was and how many girls wanted him.”

“Really? What’d you do?”

“I told him I wasn’t feeling well and went home.” Mike snorted softly, setting her now empty bowl in the sink to be washed later on that night.

“Seems that excuse is used more often than any of the others.”

“Well, I don’t want to be rude and tell I think he’s a self centered, egotistical inbred of a hillbilly football god wannabe. How’re things going with Shelly?”

“Actually, they’re not.”

“What do you mean?”

“She got tired of only seeing me once or twice a month. I told her I completely understood and we broke up. I’m not overly broken hearted over it. I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but..”

“You cared about her, you just weren’t in love with her.”

“Exactly.”

“Listen, pretty boy, I have to get going. Have to get dressed and everything for class.”

“All right. I’ll talk to you later.”

“I’m counting on it.” Mike smiled as she hung up the phone, a familiar bittersweet ache surrounding her heart. Part of her was thrilled things hadn’t worked out between JC and Shelly because of her own feelings for him; but the other part of her was sorry he hadn’t found what he was looking for. She knew his career was more than enough for him, but she also knew he felt he was lacking something, and it came more pronounced each time he visited his parents, each time he saw a couple strolling the streets together.

She went through the motions of the day with barely a thought on anything other than the normal everyday things she had to do, almost as if her brain had taken a vacation and a computer had taken over for her. After a full day of classes, she went to work feeling the exhaustion settling into her body like a warm blanket. Thankfully, the bookstore she worked in remained silent with only a few interruptions with customers. In the slow minutes between taking care of the customers and placing new books on the shelves, she busied herself with studying. The bookstore she worked in wasn’t a corporate bookstore, but rather owned by an elderly man and his family. The books sold there were of every genre and author, some even dating back hundreds of years. When Mike was feeling particularly lazy, she would pull one of the old leather volumes from the shelf behind the counter and begin reading. She smiled, glancing around to find no customers and decided she would be lazy this evening. She stepped behind the counter and up on a chair to reach the old leather books. She traced a finger over the spines of the books, finally resting on one. She pulled the book down then settled herself on the stool located behind the counter for the employees to sit and opened the book. A slight musty smell invaded her senses, causing her smile to widen. Mike didn’t know why some people didn’t like to read. Reading to her was like escaping from life only to be transported to another one. And more than anything, she loved old stories.

“Excuse me, miss. I’m looking for a book.” a vaguely familiar male voice with an accent she couldn’t recognize inquired suddenly, startling her enough to flinch slightly.

“You’ve come to the right place.” Mike smiled, closing the book she held around a bookmark as she climbed to her feet, setting the book behind the counter. She raised an eyebrow at the young man standing in front of her. He wore a baseball hat low over his brow, and sunglasses masked his eyes from the world. His features looked familiar but she couldn’t quite place them.

“What type of book are you looking for?” she prompted gently when he didn’t say anything further.

“Oh, right. I’m looking for something that would impress a girl.” he laughed, gesturing helplessly.

“That doesn’t help much either.” Mike teased gently, walking around the counter. “What does she like? What kind of books is she into?”

“Well, I’m not quite sure, really. I know she’s into the classics. I also know she likes Shakespeare.” he shrugged, rubbing the nape of his neck with a hand.

“What’s her personality like?” Mike inquired, searching her brain for the perfect book for this girl a guy wanted to impress.

“She’s really sweet. She knows how to be sarcastic. She loves reading anything she can get her hands on. She’s funny and compassionate. And she’s beautiful.” he finished, his cheeks flushing slightly.

“Sounds like she’s quite a girl.” Mike commented, leaning back against the counter.

“She is.” he nodded.

“You say she likes Shakespeare?” she continued, lifting an eyebrow.

“As far as know, yeah.” he nodded once again, following as she wandered into the stacks, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. She gazed at the bookshelves filled with volumes of fiction, non-fiction, biographies, science fiction, fantasy, romance, western, and every other type of novel the world had ever seen.

“This is our collection of Shakespearean works. They’re all old books, so they’ve seen some wear and tear; but because they’re old, she’ll be impressed that you thought of her enough to find an older copy.” Mike explained, running a finger along the spines of the books shelved on the top shelf, spanning the whole shelf space. Her eyebrows hiked when he made a face, shaking his head slowly.

“Ah, not to your liking. All right. What price range are you wanting to go with for this gift?” she smiled, arms folding across her chest.

“Price doesn’t matter.” he shook his head, shoving hands into the pockets of his lightweight jacket.

“How much do you like this girl?” Mike glanced over her shoulder at the young man as she made her way back to the front of the store.

“Put it this way, she’s my best friend and the only woman who’s ever known the real me.” he mumbled, ducking his head as he followed her. “She could own my heart if she wanted it.”

Mike nodded thoughtfully, her own heart giving a slight pang of regret as her mind wandered and to JC and lingered there for a moment. She shook her head, firmly pushing him from her mind as she stepped behind the counter as gazed at the smaller bookshelf filled with the leather bound books. She read the titles over twice before she reached for one with a satisfied smile.

“If your girl is all you say she is, I’m sure she’ll love this.” she informed him, setting the old brown leather book on the counter. Othello was boldly written across the cover in gold scroll. He lifted the book from the counter, opening it to gaze at the pages with interest.

“And how much is this?” he glanced up at her with a raised eyebrow.

“The old man marked it at seventy, but he could be talked down to about fifty.” Mike shrugged, settling back on the stool.

“I’ve never haggled over the price of a book. I’ll pay whatever you think is fair.” he gave her a smile.

“Personally, I think that book is priceless, but fifty is fair. Especially with how old the book is.” Mike shrugged again as the young man reached for his wallet.

“Fifty it is, then.” he nodded in agreement, pulling out three twenty dollar bills. He waited patiently as she made change for him, then put the book carefully into a bag and handed it over to him.

“Thank you.” he smiled with a nod, making his way to the door.

“If you really want to impress this girl, put a rose inside the book when you give it to her.” Mike called after him just as he pulled open the door.

“Thank you. I think I might do that.” he called back before disappearing from the store. She was sorry to see the book go. On many rainy afternoons and evenings, she had pulled that very same book from the shelf and sat in on the stool with a cardboard cup of hot chocolate from the coffee shop next door to read through it. She had the whole play practically memorized. She glanced up at the clock on the wall, giving a sigh of relief as she set about the duties of closing the book shop up for the night. Once she was finished, she locked the doors and headed home for a night filled with studying and writing a paper. Once at the apartment, she unlocked the door and pushed herself inside, wondering where she would come up with the energy it would take to study for the next few hours. She made a face when she heard laughter in the living room, dropping her book bag on the floor in the front hallway before she wandered into the living room.

“Moo!” she yelped with a laugh, throwing her arms around her older friend in a hug.

“Hey Chichi,” he laughed, lifting her off her feet in a tight hug.

“When did you get here?” Mike demanded as he set her down on her feet as Justin wandered in from the kitchen with a bowl of cereal in his hand.

“Hey Mike.” he greeted tiredly.

“Hi Justin.” Mike returned his smile, glancing over at Chris.

“We got in earlier this afternoon while you were in class. I like what you’ve done with the place.” Chris answered dryly, gazing around the apartment pointedly.

“It needed a woman’s touch. Where’s everyone else?” Mike shrugged as she flopped down on the couch.

“Lance and Joe headed out to a club, and JC went home claiming he was going to sleep for the next week.” Chris mumbled through a yawn. “And I, dear Chichi, am heading to bed. See you in the morning.”

“Night, Moo.” Mike smiled affectionately at him as he disappeared into his bedroom. Justin covered a yawn with his hand, channel surfing with the other. “And what are you doing here, Mr. Timberlake?”

“Too tired to drive home.” Justin grunted, shoving a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

“All right, then. I’ll let you watch some TV. I need to go study. See you in the morning, kid.” Mike rubbed his curls with a hand affectionately before she wandered to her own bedroom for the night. She groaned, yawning herself, and tossed a glare in the general direction of the living room where Justin was residing for the night. If he hadn’t yawned, she wouldn’t have either. She reached over to the lamp and switched it on, the winced when she realized she had forgotten her book bag in the hallway. A light knock sounded on the door and she pulled it open with a sigh.

“You forgot this.” Justin mumbled, handing the book bag over to her.

“Thanks, sweetie. Go get some sleep.” Mike smiled, taking the heavy burden from him. He nodded wordlessly then disappeared back into the living room. She tossed the bag onto her bed, then her eyes widened when she saw what waited for her on her pillow. She picked up the book with a white rose inside, her heart stuttering in her chest as she sat heavily on her bed. The tip of her index finger traced the lettering on the cover with familiarity before turning the cover back. Her eye was caught by something written on the inside cover. What would happen if we kissed… Josh She sat back, stunned. Mike closed her eyes, heart doing slow somersaults in her chest. Suddenly she climbed to her feet and wandered over to where she kept her CDs. She flipped through her CD book looking for the song he had quoted in the cover. After a few minutes of searching, she finally found it. She placed the CD in the diskman resting on her bedside table then pulled the headphones over her ears and pressed play, forwarding until she hit track eight.

Once the song ended, she pressed the stop button and pulled the headphones from her ears. She leaned back against the headboard, her mind whirling like a tornado. All the possibilities jumbled inside her head, flirting with the truth of the situation, twining with her hopes for the situation. The conversation she had earlier with the young man who had come into the store looking for this very same book.

“Oh, right. I’m looking for something that would impress a girl.” he laughed, gesturing helplessly.

“That doesn’t help much either.” Mike teased gently, walking around the counter. “What does she like? What kind of books is she into?”

“Well, I’m not quite sure, really. I know she’s into the classics. I also know she likes Shakespeare.” he shrugged, rubbing the nape of his neck with a hand.

“What’s her personality like?” Mike inquired, searching her brain for the perfect book for this girl a guy wanted to impress.

“She’s really sweet. She knows how to be sarcastic. She loves reading anything she can get her hands on. She’s funny and compassionate. And she’s beautiful.” he finished, his cheeks flushing slightly.

“Sounds like she’s quite a girl.” Mike commented, leaning back against the counter.

“She is.” he nodded.

He couldn’t tell her how he thought of her, so he had changed his appearance and done it in a way that she would remember upon being reminded in a totally different way. He had made himself vulnerable to her in more ways that one, and that was something no guy had every done for her. David had always made her feel vulnerable, had always made her feel like she didn’t have a choice when it came to the relationship she had with him. It wasn’t something she had gotten over yet. Then there was JC, who had done everything different. He had stated right from the start that she had control over everything she did. He had helped her take her life back by teaching her that not everyone in the world wanted to crush her spirit. He had stood by and let her take her time when it came to deciding things about him; whether or not she could trust him. Unexplainable tears filled her eyes, her chest starting to burn where a knot grew. She swallowed past the knot and took a deep breath. Without thinking, she grabbed her keys and quietly let herself out of the apartment. She climbed into her car, vaguely startled that it had started raining, and turned the ignition and pulling out onto the street. For a mindless hour, she drove the streets of Orlando, debating on what she should do over this new realization. She could always confront JC about the whole thing and risk losing her heart to him. Or, she could pretend nothing happened and risk losing him. Neither looked like options for her, but she had to pick the lesser of the two evils. But, he isn’t evil. He’s anything but. You know he’d never do anything to hurt you. So, why is it so difficult to let go of your heart when it’s him who’s going to receive it? She shook her head, taking a sharp left turn.

JC sighed, gazing at the television unseeingly, remote control in one hand and a glass of milk in the other. He had done his part, had tried getting some sleep, but his mind wouldn’t leave him alone about the possibility of losing Mike in whatever way he had her now. Going to the book store where she held a job and buying a book was one thing. What he had done was disguise himself and tell her how he felt about her, asking her opinion on what book he should get to impress her. Once he had left Chris’s apartment after leaving the book on her bed, his mind started lingering on the worst possible outcomes to this scenario. She could end up hating him for pushing a relationship again. But he wasn’t sure he could take just being her friend anymore. Not when all he wanted was to be her everything. He wanted to be the reason why she smiled, why she laughed. He wanted to be the one to protect her, to love her, to cherish her the way she should have had in her previous relationships. He wanted to wipe away her tears and hold her throughout the night. He wanted to bash his head into the wall because he had made a mistake by giving her the book. He had only planned on buying the book and keeping it for himself, unsure of how she would react if he gave the book to her. Then he had seen the look in her eyes when she handed the book over to him. He could tell instantly that it was one of her favorites and she didn’t really want to let it go. So, against the better judgment of his mind, he had left the book in her room. Now he was suffering the consequences. She hadn’t called to tell him anything, not even to ask him who the hell he thought he was. He shook his head, groaning softly. Never in his life had he felt this… uncertain. He glanced up when a knock sounded at his front door. He glanced down at the old pair of sweatpants he wore, bare feet and no shirt, vaguely wondering who in the world was dropping by on him at this hour of the night. JC lurched to his feet, setting the glass down on the low coffee table and wandered over to the door.

“You, my friend, look like death warmed over.” Missy stated dryly as she gave him a once over.

“Anyone ever tell you, you have a way with words?” JC snorted, leaving the door open as he wandered back into the living room and the television. Missy gazed at him incredulously for a moment, then shook her head as she stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

“What’s with you?” she inquired, flopping down on the couch beside him, gazing around the room with a raised eyebrow. The television was on, but the volume was almost too low to hear; all the lights were off and his luggage still sat in the corner, waiting to be unpacked for his stay at home.

“What do you mean, what’s with me?” JC countered, glancing over at her before returning his eyes to the television screen.

“Usually you’re happy to see me.” Missy commented, giving him a sideways look, smirking slightly.

“Just have a lot on my mind, that’s all.” he shook his head, discouraging any further talk about what was bothering him.

“Well, it’s either woman trouble or you’ve just come to the realization that you’re gay. And, well, being that I’m a gay as the day is long and we have these built in ‘gaydars’, if you will. I know it’s not the latter of the two. So, what kind of woman problems are you having?” Missy grinned cheekily at him, folding her arms across her chest.

“God, Missy, do you ever shut up?” JC demanded with a rueful laugh.

“Nah. I like hearing myself talk too much to stop. So, what’s going on? Having performance anxiety? Can’t get it up? Can’t perform under pressure? There’s drugs for that, you know.” Missy continued, hoping to lighten his mood enough so he would start talking.

“Yes, Missy, I know there’s drugs for that. And no, I’m not suffering from performance anxiety. And I don’t want to talk about it.” JC tossed a half-hearted glare in her general direction, settling back against the cushions once again.

“Oh, come on, Joshy-washy. Talk to me.” she yanked on the cotton of his sweatpants.

“Sorry, Miss, some things I just won’t talk about, even with you.” JC shook his head, concentrating for all he was worth on the television.

“You found a new bunny to lust after? Ooh, is she sexy? Do you have wet dreams about her?” Missy bit her lip to keep from laughing when JC’s ears pinked. He groaned loudly, covering his face with his hands.

“You did!” she crowed triumphantly, bouncing in her seat. “You found a new sex kitten. Tell me, Josh, is she of age?”

“Missy, shut up. She’s not a sex kitten and I don’t lust after her.” JC admonished, his own lips finally twitching with her constant playful barbs.

“Did Joshy-washy find himself true love? Oh, that’s so sweet! Tell me, does your heart flutter every time you think of her? Does the thought of her smile make you smile?” she laughed, poking him in the side.

“If you don’t shut up, I’m going to have to hit you.” JC warned ominously, glancing over at her.

“She turned you down, didn’t she? Didn’t want to be attached to a cell phone for her entire life, did she? Awe, Josh, did her parents just say no?” she continued to tease him without thought as she climbed to her feet and wandered into the kitchen to grab something to drink.

“Missy, if you’d ever get serious, I actually might talk to you about it.” JC sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

“Okay, I’m serious. What’s up?” Missy gave him a smile when she returned with her own glass of milk.

“This girl is amazing. She’s been through hell, literally and figuratively.” JC sighed with a shrug, flipping through channels on the television.

“Wait, is this that girl who spent time with you guys on the road? Chris’s friend?” Missy lifted an eyebrow. JC nodded silently, shoulders sagging slightly.

“Whoa. Girl has got some serious baggage. Be careful.” Missy winced slightly, settling back against the arm of the couch so she was facing her friend.

“The thing is, she’s gotten past most of that. She left because she wanted to take care of herself, and she’s been doing a great job with that. She’s been going to college, working, even started dating some. Besides, hers is the kind of baggage I don’t mind dealing with because I know it’s not her fault and she doesn’t let it run her life.” JC explained, searching for the right words.

“Oh my, God. You think you’ve found The One.” Missy’s mouth dropped open slightly, shock entering her eyes. “Are you sure about this? I mean, your career and everything.”

“She keeps saying the same thing. That having my career and having her isn’t as simple as I think it is.” he mumbled, shaking his head slowly.

“Well, kid, she has a point. Are you going to be able to stay away from her for months on end without going insane? Are you going to be able to tolerate the possibility of your fans hating her, once they find out about her, and being vocal about it? And they will, believe me, they will. They’ll be as vocal as possible. Are you willing to let her go if she can’t handle the kind of lifestyle you have?” Missy grew serious, her eyes unwavering.

“I know the odds are against this, but I can’t sit and be her friend for much longer. I can’t. Being her friend is driving me insane. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep my intentions friendly.” JC grumbled, holding his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees.

“Then you have to convince her that this wouldn’t be a mistake.” she sighed, wracking her brain for some better advice.

“No kidding. Ya think?” JC snorted.

"Jace, you have to remember all she's been through. If it's the way you told me, she has a lot she has to work through. She's been through hell and back, even had the devil to give her his own personal tour. She has to know in her mind, her heart and her soul that she's not going to get hurt. She may know it in her mind and in her heart, but I can just imagine what her soul is going through." Missy sighed, her violet eyes flashing in sympathy, her voice soft.

"I know all that, Missy. Its been drilled into my head these past few months with her constant advance - retreat technique. It about drives me to drink. But I sit and patiently wait for her to come to me, giving her gentle nudges every once in a while in my direction. In all honesty, I don't think its a relationship she's not interested in. I'm beginning to think it's just me she's not interested in. She's gone out with other guys. Believe me, I've heard all about it through my own stupidity of asking." JC shook his head, sighing heavily.

"Oh, Lord. Joshy-washy, think about it for a second." Missy rolled her eyes, shaking her head slowly.

"Think about what, Miss? I've been running this through my head for weeks, months. What could I have possibly missed?" he gestured helplessly with a hand, raking his other hand through his hair.

"What does she have to lose with dating someone she barely knows?" she lifted an eyebrow, making the question a pointed one.

"Everything." he muttered, climbing to his feet. He disappeared into the kitchen for a moment, returning with a bag of popcorn.

"No, Jace. She doesn't have anything to lose if she dates someone she barely knows. She still has control. She isn't risking her heart because it's almost impossible to become so emotionally attached to someone when you've only gone out with them once. You following me?" she continued, shaking her head when he turning the bag of popcorn toward her, silently offering her some.

"When it comes to the female anything, I don't follow. I don't even understand y'all." he grumbled with a snort.

"Jace, if she gives in to you, starts dating you like you want, she has everything to lose. Because you would have a form of control over her. Because, whether she knows it or not, you already have a firm grip on her heart and nothing will change that. You just have to give her some time to figure it out in her mind so she can soothe her soul." Missy shrugged a shoulder, glancing over at the television screen for a moment.

"But she knows I'd never hurt her. Would rather die than hurt her." he protested weakly, denying his friend's words though he knew they held a note of truth.

"She may know that here," she mumbled, tapping his temple gently. "But she doesn't know it here." she continued, her hand dropping to his heart.

"I don't know, Missy." he groaned, covering his face with his hands. Missy remained silent for a moment, letting him internalize and digest what she had said before she continued.

"Just be patient, Jace. You'll win her over with time and consideration. Trust me. Before long, she'll realize what she has with you. Realize you're a decent, wonderful guy who would never hurt a living soul. It'll just take her some time to come to the same conclusions everyone else has." Missy grinned at him, patting his hand affectionately.

"I'm trying, Miss. I'm trying." he sighed a groan, rubbing his tired, gritty eyes. She smiled sympathetically at him, wishing she could say more to boost his confidence. He groaned again when another knock sounded at his front door.

“What? Everyone knew I was having a rough night and they all just wanted to drop by and rub my face in it?” he sighed as he climbed to his feet once again. He walked over to the door and pulled it open, only to have his heart lurched to a sudden halt. Even soaking wet and looking like a drowned rat, she was stunning.

“Mike?” he inquired incredulously.

“Why?” she demanded, her voice quivering slightly, her green eyes cloudy with confusion.

Minutes later, she arrived at JC’s apartment. All the lights were off, telling her he had already gone to bed. She climbed out of the car and strolled up the walkway to his front door. Without giving herself time to chicken out, she banged on his door loud enough for it to echo slightly. Minutes later, the door opened.

“Mike?” JC gazed at her in shock, eyebrows lifted. He wore a pair of old sweatpants and nothing else.

“Why?” she demanded without pleasantries, needing to know the answer before anything else was said.

“Why what?” confusion filled his tired eyes before he took a quick glance over his shoulder as if looking for something.

“The book, Josh. Why?” she clarified herself, raking a hand through her now wet hair, pulling the strands from her eyes.

“You know why, Michaela.” he sighed, shoulders sagging slightly.

“Spell it out for me, Josh. Pretend I’m a four year old.” she shook her head, eyes blazing with an inner light she couldn’t explain.

“I’ve fallen in love with you.” he shrugged, voice soft as he reached for her. “Why don’t you come inside, out of the rain?”

“I like the rain. That doesn’t answer my question. Why?” Mike shook her head, refusing to do as he suggested.

“I don’t know why. Why does there have to be a specific reason? It’d be easier to give you reasons why the ocean has waves and why the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. I just do. There’s no one reason, there aren’t even a dozen reasons.” JC gestured helplessly.

“I’m damaged, no good for you. Why can’t you see that?” she demanded, becoming angry with herself and the whole situation, though she couldn’t explain why.

“You are not damaged. Michaela, you aren’t.” he sighed when she began shaking her head. “You think you are because of what one man did. But, you’re not. Michaela, I wish you could see yourself the way everyone else sees you.”

“And how do they see me, Josh?” her voice dropped to a whisper.

“They see you as a beautiful, independent and brilliant young woman. You’re the strongest person I know, and the most unbelievable. You astound me with some of the things you say, and you constantly open my mind to new and wondrous things, making me earn each step of the way.” the answer was murmured, his hand lifting to brush dripping strands of hair from her eyes. Mike sighed, eyes closing for a moment, feeling herself falling for the one person she had told herself she wouldn’t.

“I’m not as strong as people seem to think I am.” Mike shook her head, shivering slightly with the cool breeze that had kicked up.

“Yes you are. To survive everything to get to where you are today. Yes you are.” JC countered softly, silently challenging her with his eyes to rebuke what he’d said.

“No, I’m not. God, most times all I want to do is crawl into someone’s arms and just cry, hide from the world. Most times all I was is to be held, with assurances that everything will be okay. I never get that. I’m so friggin weak, Josh. I’m so weak. And I don’t deserve your love.” she finally let the tears fall, mixing with the raindrops dotting her cheeks.

“You do, Mike. You deserve my love.” JC reached for her again. This time she didn’t step away, though she didn’t step forward either.

“JC? What’s going on?” an unfamiliar female voice inquired from inside the apartment. Mike took a startled step backward, turning shocked eyes from the young woman to JC. She shook her head slowly, backing away from him. Without a word, she turned on her heel, making her way back toward the car. She called herself a thousand kinds of fool for thinking anything other than friendship could be possible. Words were always much easier than actions.

“Michaela,” JC called after her. She ignored him, pulling the car door open. Her heart stopped when his hand wrapped around her arm, pulling her around to face him.

“Don’t Josh. Like I said months ago, this isn’t simple. She just proved that fact.” Mike shook her head, unable to meet his gaze. Without a word, he pulled her into his arms, one hand resting on the small of her back, the other resting on her nape, fingers threading through her hair.

“It is simple, Michaela. Trust me. It’s simple.” he whispered, resting his forehead against her shoulder. She stood stiffly in his arms for a moment before allowing herself to twine her arms around his neck. He gently crowded her back against the car, his arms tightening around her.

“Who is she?” she finally had the courage to ask.

“A friend of mine. She was helping me with suggestions on how to win you over.” JC answered softly, pulling away from her enough to gaze down into her face. “Will you come inside now?”

Mike nodded silently, her heart twisting slightly in her chest when his hand closed over her own, their fingers twining together. He led her into the apartment, closing the door behind them.

“You should get out of those wet clothes.” JC mumbled, bringing her further into the apartment. His friend glanced up from the couch and gave her a smile.

“You must be Michaela, and I must be going. Good luck, Joshy-washy.” she wiggled her fingers at a glowering JC and a stunned Mike before she sauntered from the room, leaving them in silence.

“You, uh, have some interesting friends.” Mike commented, shivering slightly.

“Yeah, you could say that. I’ll go grab you some dry clothes. Make yourself comfortable.” JC gestured to the living room before he disappeared down the hallway leading in the opposite direction of the front door. Mike wandered over to the walls to gaze at the pictures hanging on every available wall space, wondering briefly who all the people were, then shook her head. It didn’t matter who they were. They were a part of JC’s life, not hers.

“Here. I’m sure it’s way too big, but at least it’s dry. You’re in no condition to drive, so you take my bedroom and I’ll crash out here on the couch.” he sounded nervous. Mike nodded wordlessly, following his directions to his bedroom. She changed into the oversize Fubu jersey and boxer shorts before she brought her clothes to the bathroom to hang over the shower rod. Once that was finished, she silently made her way back to the living room, curiosity over what he was doing winning over her desire to be alone. He stood at the window, gazing out into the rainy night and her heart caught. She could almost feel the loneliness exuding from him. Could almost feel his despair. Carefully, she walked over to him, placing a hand on his back, nearly jumping at how warm his skin felt. He stiffened slightly before turning to face her.

“Something wrong?” he murmured softly. She shook her head, reaching for his hand. She twined their fingers together before she gently tugged him with her down the hall.

“Mike, what are you doing?” he inquired, his heart suddenly starting to breakdance in his chest.

“I don’t want to be alone.” she answered simply. JC closed his eyes tightly, taking a deep breath to cool his heating blood. She crawled into his bed, then gazed up at him expectantly. He nearly cursed, wishing the circumstances could have been different. Against his better judgment, he crawled into the bed beside her and curled his arms around her. The painful thunder of his heart finally slowed when she cuddled against him, her cheek resting on his shoulder, her hand splayed across his chest. His fingertips traced her arm, tickling her gently, causing a soft giggle to escape her. Vaguely he wished he could taste her laughter, the mentally chided himself for letting his thoughts wander to places they shouldn’t be.

“I’m terrified of what’s going to happen next.” she whispered so softly he nearly missed it.

“Nothing will happen unless you want it to. You’ll be the one making all the first moves. I’ll just be following your lead until you trust me with your heart as well as your body.” he lifted a hand to stroke his fingers across her cheek. She caught his hand, pressing a kiss to his palm before cuddling against him again, letting her eyelids flutter shut and her world go pleasantly black.

JC remained still, one arm folded behind his head and his other arm wrapped securely around a sleeping Michaela. He had no idea what was going on, why she had come to see him in the middle of the night, then almost demand that he hold her for the duration of the night while she slept; but he was willing to remain clueless, reveling in the fact that she trusted him at least this much. He absentmindedly stroked her arm lightly with his fingertips soothingly as he gazed out his bedroom window at the rapidly approaching dawn. He almost wished the sun would never rise again so he could selfishly keep her in his arms forever, then sighed silently, knowing this quiet interlude would have to end at some point and time. He just wished it wouldn't come so soon. His brooding gaze turned back to her when she stirred slightly in her sleep, her brow puckering slightly in a frown before relaxing once again in peaceful sleep. JC brushed a tender kiss against the top of her head, inhaling the sweet scent of peaches from her shampoo. Everywhere he had gone, no matter where he was or whom he was with, the scent of peaches haunted him because it was her scent. Without thinking, his hand lifted to her cheek, delicately tracing the line of her jaw and cheekbone. Her brow furrowed again, leading him to wonder what she was dreaming about that would cause such a reaction as he let his hand fall back to the bed, his arm still wrapped securely around her slight form. Through the cracked window, the soft sounds of chirping birds danced through the air, giving their traditional morning symphony, singing so the sun could complete it's rising. He hadn't been able to sleep all night, especially not with Michaela in his arms. She stirred suddenly, almost violently, her eyes opening. Confusion swirled in their depth, then something akin to fear. Without thinking, she sat up, dislodging herself from his embrace.

"Mike?" he inquired softly, concerned. She shook her head, holding a hand to her face, completely mortified she had let this happen. Unwilling to meet his gaze, she shifted, turning her back to him as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. He had to think she was a tramp for doing what she had done. Mentally she berated herself for letting her emotions carry her away as they always seemed to do.

"Michaela?" JC inquired again, shifting so he could gently touch her arm. His heart sank when she flinched away from him, instant regret crossing his face.

"This never should have happened." she finally whispered, her voice still husky with sleep. JC sighed softly, rubbing the back of his neck, his muscles spasming from being unable to move while she slept. She climbed to her feet, stumbling slightly before returning her gaze to him.

"My clothes?" she questioned.

"In the bathroom, hanging on the shower rod." he answered, watching silently as she walked briskly from the room, making her way toward the bathroom. He shook his head, confusion muddling his own mind as he, too, climbed to his feet. Instead of heading to the bathroom, he made his way to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, hoping she would stay long enough for the two of them to talk about the night before. Mike closed the bathroom door, sighing and cursing silently to herself. She had been foolish to stay the night with JC. Absolutely foolish, and now she would pay for it. Her mind would give her no rest over this mistake, she knew that for sure. She turned to the sink, reaching for the tap. After a moment, she washed her face with cold water, hoping to clear her sleep muddled senses enough to get through the next few painful moments so she could escape back into the safe world she had created for herself in Chris's apartment. Slowly, methodically, she stripped out of the clothes JC had given her to wear the night before and pulled on her own.

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