The saddest day of my life

 

I’m sorry about last night. I was abducted by the aliens in my head again…I dreamt of you leaving. It was awful, but it was true… You will leave.

 

The saddest day of my life hasn’t happened yet: I haven’t lost you, but I will. I will lose your face, your smile, your presence. Like it’s meant to be. Couldn’t stop it even if I tried.

 

Life is bland. Like mercury inside a thermometer, it goes everywhere and you can’t keep track on it. It mutates, changes colours and shapes like a chameleon. But enough of the metaphors. You’ve always liked it when I cut to the chase. You always tell me to relax, even when you know I won’t. you’ve always known that.

 

We’ll go back to reading each other’s mind from afar, to treasuring past and recent memories without clinging to them. We’ll go back to what we know as life and routine, things that drive us insane.

 

I’m sorry things have started out weirdly; you weren’t prepared but you were ready for the challenge. It’s pretty clear to me that I am your favourite challenge. And I thank you for it. It has given me a purpose, a sense of self. I am the riddle no one gets, and you have one of those little white cards with the answer written out hidden someplace safe.

 

We belong ‘cause we’ve managed to connect with that side of the brain that can achieve mutual understanding. No one can separate us, but they’ll keep trying for a long while.

 

I get weak on the knees when you give me a certain look, and you can’t stand it when I read your mind. You are the key to that damaged door that wouldn’t open, there even was a trick (and you found out about it), so now you’re juggling with a way to open the door that will let my emotions run free as painlessly as possible. And once again I thank you for it.

 

The saddest day of my life is near; It will be the day when I have to let go of you. It will be the day when your scent fades away from my pillows, when you won’t be here to hold. I won’t get into a car and drive away to pick you up; instead I will keep the insane routine that suffocates me. I do not write this to hurt you, it is not my intention. I just wanted to share my sad premonition.

 

I want you to know that your stay will not go as if it never happened, because it changed me. You brought back a good piece of my soul with you, and gave me one of yours as well. You have given me your heart inside a crystal bubble, for me to cherish and protect better than any other gift ever handed to me. And I shall treasure it for many lives to come, for there is no one like you.

 

You remain worried, and that will never stop, because you know me so well. You fear of my demons taking completely over me, you fear that I’ll fade away into oblivion, dragged down by my sarcastic enemies, but I won’t. I will not succumb to such a sad faith, for there is something better in store for me. I belong with the living, I belong in your heart, in your prayers, on your mind. Our souls will remain attached for many lives to come, for we’ve made a pact and compromise to never forget what brought us together in the first place.

 

The saddest day of my life will come soon, but many happy days with you have happened before that faithful day, and my heart just keeps on anticipating the wonderful moments that are yet to come.

 

So bear with me, stay with me, keep me safe, sane, warm and loved. You are a part of my life, my soul, my tears and joy.  You are unique, there is no one like you. I love you and will keeping on loving you for the rest of my days, for you are not my friend; you are my best friend.