You see, she had bigger plans than to flirt around with a nobody at random. She wanted to see the world, think outside of the box, break the mold. And I can’t say I blame her, this modern world sometimes sucks you in and turns you into a number, a desk job, taking the life and breath away from the joy of being you.
So she set out to try something new...but first she had to find it. What could fulfill her existence? She went to school, got a degree, and was thrown into the working crowd like the rest of us. But that didn’t do it. That wasn’t the it she was looking for. So she tried on boyfriends. First was John, the philosopher...she got into the whole yoga meditation chakra crap, and it didn’t work out. Then Mike, who had an interest in cars and tattoos, for lack of something better to do. Then Pablo, Josh, Gabe, and so on...but that didn’t do it either. The thing she needed wasn’t in another person, so she kept on searching.
She started getting older. “All of my friends are house shopping, thinking of marriage and mortgage, and I can’t even afford a new car” she said to me with worry. So she made up her mind about seeing the world, making a difference, all that crap. But it wasn’t like the boyfriends this time. It was real.
She left on a rainy afternoon. Asia is the place she picked. I wish I could’ve told her that making a difference in the world doesn’t really change us when we want to stay the same. I wished for so many things at that time, but there was nothing I could do, her stubborn mind was made up. And really, what was she doing that was so wrong? Why would I stop her? So I let her go, my best friend, that part of me I can’t ever get back if I ever come to lose it.
Then I realize I had some discovering to do on my own. I had to deal with the fact that she’s a ship adrift in the middle of the ocean, with no real direction, wanting to try every flavor of ice cream before buying that big sundae, wearing high heels to a basketball game, always overdressed, always underdressed. A dilemma, a riddle. Then it hit me, I get her! I do. I know she’s trying to find herself.
And although the story doesn’t have an ending yet, I think it’s safe to say that she hasn’t found what she’s looking for. All I hope for is that someday she realizes that all the knowledge, wisdom, and heart she’s been craving for for the past quarter of a century has been in the same place all along: inside of her.